Doobie Keebler

Are you Doobie Keebler? It’s the start of the day that will be the eve of the greatest month of the year. The Third Annual BrowserMetric’s News Radio quote month

Those News Radio disks should be coming in handy just about now!!!!

Thoughts on Film: The Descent

Last night, instead of working out, I caught The Descent with The Seed. It’s supposedly, according to the blurb on the movie poster, a return to horror just like Alien. That’s the first one notice the singular.

Anyway, it wasn’t a return to Alien frights. It had some good scares, but nothing special. I jumped at times. There was a feeling of claustrophobia in being in the cave, but it was soon vanquished once the monsters showed up. I think it would’ve been good for the director to have used the dark better to make the film more scarier.

Unfortunately for this movie, it follows last summer’s The Cave. They have some things in common. I kept waiting for bat creatures, but they
weren’t. Come to think of it, the creatures are descendents of humans similar to the bat creatures in The Cave being mutated humans.

I check the tomato meter at rottentomatoes and it’s doing very well at 83%.

Surprising since most of the review snippets I read there give it a splat. What’s most interesting is that I learned that there was an original ending that differs very much from the one shown in the US. Watch it if you’ve only seen the original. It changes the ending completely. And it makes it more interesting.

BTW, I had trouble sleeping. Waking up around 3 in the AM. Waiting for gollums to crawl around my room. I was in a hazy, twilight state. Awake just enough to know I was, but not conscious to be able to move around. I tried willing my limbs to move, but they reacted in slow motion. I would’ve been cooked, if I believe in monsters of the supernatural kind.

I think I’ll not go spelunking at all.
3 of 5 stars.

Thoughts on Film: Little Miss Sunshine

Little Miss Sunshine is one of the better movies so far this summer. That’s not saying much. While it was solid storytelling and somewhat challenging, it felt as if I had been there before. The thing brought out the ennui in me. Perhaps I was tired from riding my bike in the morning.

The twist at the end I did not see coming. It was ghastly when it happened.

3 of 5 stars.

Is President Bush an idiot?

I would like to think that he is, although I like to call him a fucktard. Yet, that question posed seems to conjure up a classic line from The Jerk, “Don’t call that dog ‘Lifesaver.’ Call him ‘Shithead.'”

Therefore, don’t call the President an idiot. Call him shithead.

Can’t we wake up from this nightmare?

American Celluloid

A few months ago there was a meme going through the blogosphere. If you had to explain America to a foreigner or aliens but only through its movies, which ten films would you choose to show them. The list is not to serve as a history lesson, but as an informed commentary on the American milieu.

Here’s mine:

1) The Godfather II. We are a nation of immigrants and this film shows the struggles and choices they made to bring prosperity to their family in their new home. Of course, not all immigrants end up as mafia dons, but at its core the story of the Corleones is one that repeated and repeats itself countless times as this country matures.

2) Office Space. Working sucks. Blue collar, white collar, or no collar. We all hate our jobs and wish for something better.

3) Porky’s. The male American view of sex is sophomoric. We can’t get past the surprising titallation that we had when we were teenagers. We still think its nothing but tits and ass.

4) Full Metal Jacket. The killing machine that we can become is something ugly to behold.

5) Apollo 13. American ingenuity at its finest. This is the best moment of geekdom in American history. We can’t fail, because we think things through. Of course, we don’t do this now because of the fucktard president and his fucktard GOP fucks who believe in nothing less than education is for shmoes. Watch this film and know that sometime in her past America produced great minds.

6) Invasion of the Body Snatchers. The original, 1950s version is an allegory about America’s obsession with commies. We hate the others and must fear it. Nothing like hysteria to signify American ideology in the time of the cold war.

7) Saving Private Ryan. I hate the greatest generation moniker that was assigned to the generation that fought in world war II. Fuck them. Yet, this movie, which I thought was meant to do glorify their struggles, has a place on this list to demonstrate that they did rise to the occasion.

8) Boyz N the Hood. It’s tough to make it in America if the deck is stacked against you.

9) Woodstock and Gimme Shelter double bill. The previous to describe the sixties and the latter to kill it. Kill it with a Hell’s Angel’s shiv to your gut.

10) Raiders of the Lost Ark. American adventure at its greatest.

I’m not satisfied with these films. I probably missed some, but I think these can tell an alien what America is about.

What’s your list look like?

Thoughts on Film: 2 for the price of 1

Summer movie season is limping to a close. I have seen plenty, yet I haven’t seen enough. The movies have really sucked this year. I didn’t think they were bad last year, but I can feel how lame they are now. Perhaps it’s time to retire?

Anywho, here’s two movie for which I’ll provide my thoughts on film.

Scoop is a Woody Allen affair. Thank god he’s not the romantic lead. Scarlett Johanson and Wolverine (whats-his-name) are. To tell you the truth, I went for Scarlett. The movie is light and breezy like a Woody Allen comedic routine. It’s just that it was one of many of a long string of Allen films that leave you wondering about the writer and the director. Where’s the magic?

3 of 5 stars.

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. I’ll admit that I thought this would suck ass. The writers and director already teamed up on the very lame Anchorman and the producer, Judd Apatow, produced the equally lame 40 Year Old Virgin. I wasn’t thrilled to see it, but I needed some funny. You get it in this film. Nothing like a goat.se reference to make the day go by.

3 of 5 stars.

Eat A Peach Challenge 2006

I have been riding my bike a lot this summer to start training for a half century (50 miles). One of the training rides I did this past weekend at the Eat A Peach Challenge. I only attempted the 33 mile route, and it was a challenge. I wasn’t dog tired at the end, but I felt it. I probably had 40 miles in me, but I was leaking energy slowly that it could be a problem.

Anyway, I finished 34 miles in 2 hours 30 minutes roughly. That’s time on the bike, but in reality it was about 3.5 hours total. I don’t know where that extra hour came from because I know at the two rest stops I did not take more than 15 minutes each sometimes less.

While I was getting ready in the parking lot, the cyclist next to me said that it was a good day for the challenge, because it was cool. I thought it was going to be too cold so I brought my arm warmers and jacket just in case. When I saw everyone riding in just jerseys, I thought I should follow suit. It wasn’t cold, because the exercise warmed me up.

I asked this cyclist also how hilly the course is. He asked from which direction I drove in that morning. I told him 140, and he just said you missed the hill. O, boy I couldn’t wait to see what he was talking about.

Later on in the ride at the first rest stop I ask the same question from a fellow rider. He had ridden the course in years past including the 67 mile route. He was riding this year’s challenge’s 33 mile route, because he was slightly out of shape. He tells me its “rolling hills,” but save some energy for the last miles with the hill being a particular nasty one.

The first thing out of the parking lot is a hill. According to the cue sheet, it is only 0.3 miles long. I ride easily through it my heart rate not going about 165. That’s easy, but I still have a long way to go.

Now the course is laid out in Carroll County, Md. The county has some nice asphalt which makes you fly. In the early part, I was cranking out 21 miles per hour. I think I should’ve held back some of that in reserve for the hill, but don’t.

The first few miles go by on a quiet country back lane called Salem Bottom Rd. I reach my max speed here, 38 mph. Of course it was going downhill fast which I love, yet realize that what goes down has to go up.

The route also traverses Liberty Rd. If you’ve been on route 26, then you know that the posted speed limit is 55 mph. I don’t even come near that because I spy up ahead a hill. I have to ride up that?! No, but the turn off runs you right into a hill that dropped my chain and is steep. I make it up it with no problems once the chain is back on. Hey, this could be an easy day.

At the top I get lost. I lose my way twice that day.

The rest of the mile flow nice and smooth. There’s a good flat bit that runs through farmlands and is serene and quiet. I liked it until it was time to head north and home to the car.

Going north every time you cross a street, the road went up. The first hill I blaze through it. Not bad, but this time my heart rates hitting 170s.

The next hill is long. I would guess a mile or more at a nice steady pace. I unclip and walk the bike a ways and rest some. I make it up this one on the bike, but only after the rest.

The next hill comes and I get halfway up again. I am gulping air. I stop and walk the rest of the way.

A smaller hill kills me, but I spin up it at 5 mph. I shift gears at the top and spin away, but only at 7 mph. Around this time at the 25 mile mark I feel my legs running out of gas. I begin to watch the odometer thinking of how much more I have to go.

THE HILL: Kate Wagner Rd. It is on the opposite of a steep downhill. If you have enough speed you can coast partway up on momentum. Unfortunately, there’s a light at the bottom. I don’t make the light.

I sit there with another cyclist waiting for the light to change. It goes green and the other guy goes. I stand up on my cranks and realize that I hadn’t changed gears I am still on the big gears. It becomes a struggle on the flat at the doorstep of the hill.

This thing is killing me. I struggle to get the gears to change. They finally do, and I begin to spin up the hill. A quarter of the way up, I attempt to change to my granny gear (Thank god for triple chainrings!) only to find that I was in my lowest gears from the start. I’m cooked. I walk the bike the rest of the way up.

Finally, I spin for home feeling it in my legs. I follow some lady who was portly but she keeps me in a safe distance away.

I get the feeling that I need to do some training for the ride in September.

Thoughts on Film: Lady in the Water

This is waaay late, but since the seed has stopped blogging, I’m going to have to post my thougts on Lady in the Water.

Better than the reviewers let on, because frankly, it’s one big “fuck you” to any movie critic. Those dudes are stupid, know-nothings.

I enjoyed it. You will too if you just look beyond Shyamalan’s ego.

3 of 5 stars