Paul Blart: Mall Cop

broderic on February 1, 2009

Marge texted me yesterday if I wanted to go catch Paul Blart: Mall Cop, since I told her that I had wanted to watch it to see what all the fuss was about (tops B.O. 2 weeks in a row?!).

I’m sorry. It was the worst film I’ve seen in years. I really wanted to leave, but Marge kept me there. ;P

I need to post this review for posterity: “Shit sandwich.”

1 of 5 stars. (1 star is the floor. I don’t posts zeroes.)

Posted by broderic

Yo! I'm the writer here. Super sauce.

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11 Replies to “Paul Blart: Mall Cop”

  1. m a r g e February 1, 2009 at 18:24 PM

    thanks for citing me on this post. =p

  2. riss February 1, 2009 at 20:18 PM

    Hahaa, sucker! Can’t believe you wasted the money. Although, I seem to remember it on your last from last weekend. Defiance to Mall Cop….interesting. Although I did watch Rev Road and then Underworld so I guess I shouldn’t talk.

  3. One Little Seedling February 1, 2009 at 23:23 PM

    Why would you watch a Kateless Underworld?

    Why is Mall Cop doing well… the average moviegoer just wants to forget everything in their life for a moment. It’s also a “family” film so everyone can watch the PG goodness. Oh and people like to see fatty go down. I mean come on… it’s like Die Hard but with a fat dude. Genius.

    I’ll wait for the sequel, “Meter Maid: Die Blarter”, then “Blart Hard With A Vengence” and then the eventual follow up “Live Free or Blart Hard”.

    I actually like Kevin James, I hope he finds a better movie. Of course it doesn’t help that this was partly his idea.

  4. One Little Seedling February 1, 2009 at 23:26 PM

    Oh and the movie sounds like a 0. 0 is funny.

  5. broderic February 2, 2009 at 00:22 AM

    0. It’s not funny. Totally not funny because all the funny stuff was telegraphed.

    I really did want to get out of there.

  6. riss February 2, 2009 at 03:03 AM

    Actually she is in it, she narrates the beginning and then pops up in the end in a flash forward. You mean, you don’t like Rhona Metra? I thought it might be funny to watch Frost/Nixon right after.

  7. broderic February 2, 2009 at 03:11 AM

    Now the seed’s gonna have to rent it!

  8. Wyman February 2, 2009 at 16:27 PM

    You didn’t know that mall security movies are all the rage now? I know you want to see Seth Rogen in his competing epic.

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1197628/

  9. broderic February 3, 2009 at 00:11 AM

    It’s not worth it? Didn’t they see mall rats?

    I aint watching any more of these stupid rent a cop movies. They aren’t even funny.

  10. m a r g e February 3, 2009 at 01:59 AM

    i watched it for that Hello Kitty band aid. LOL! =p

    as ive mentioned to some of you, the brand of comedy on this film is something you can forget after u leave the theater. its like House Bunny, what did really happen there? laughing at the moment, then think about it now and you’re like, what happened to that funny scene? YES, i laughed, because i guess he did something stupid.

  11. m a r g e February 3, 2009 at 02:00 AM

    oh by the way, he played Rock Band! and he was hanging from that furnace sort of thing that distended the furnace, bumped into that girl, and that made that other guy run off. why did that guy run off? chicken!

    *must say, spoiler alert. who cares?*

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