Bat Hunt 2013
Not since the Great Bat Hunt of 2000 on the evening of Dad’s wake has the species Chiroptera dared to take on the Gonzales clan. On that night thirteen years ago, we defeated the bat that invaded our home. Tonight, they came again and left defeated.
I was sitting at home playing Simpsons Taped Out when Mom called. “There’s a bat in the house.” “Can’t you throw a blanket over it?” “It’s flying!” “Do you need to have me come over?” “YES!” So I went.
The last Bat Hunt was a full house of hunters. Tonight, I was on my own. Going through my mind was the fierce movement of the critter. It flies in zig-zags swerving and diving as it echo location finds clear paths throughout its paths. I wasn’t looking forward to this on my own.
When I get to the house, it was dark lock down like the geo-engineering colony on LV426. Even when I entered the house, it was dark and the alarm was on. “Hello!” Mom was upstairs locked in to keep the bat away. I go room by room turning on the lights. Nothing downstairs. Wait, there it is in the dining room light fixture.
Spotted! I’m gonna need something to catch it with. I’m going to need a blanket. Throw it on the chandelier, but will it hold?
Let me first poke it to see it move. Open up the doors so that we can shoo it away. I’m needing a longer pole. I don’t want to get close. I find a pole and a fish tank net in the garage. MacGyver has nothing on me. Here we go.
I try to capture it while it resides in the chandelier, but to no avail. I actually dislodge the bat which begins to fly around the room. Going through the house. Mom throws the blanket over her to keep from seeing the bat. I’m whooping and screaming like Kukichiyo seeing lady farmers. I’m trying to drive the bat to an open door. “Stand up, Mom! Stand up! Act like a wall so that the bat’s echo location will drive it to the open door!”
I catch it once. Then it’s out again. I chase it room to room finally succeeding in driving it out the front door.
Adrenaline surged through me throughout the hunt. Now I’m coming down. We are laughing again. And we go find out where it could have entered the house from.
The Great Bat Hunt of 2013 is done. Now I need to sleep. Calm down first – then sleep.
