“Yo, man, Spidey is a byotch! Batman wouldn’t’ve cried!”

Spiderman 3 is no Spiderman 2. It took the momentum built from the last movie, “Go get ’em tiger,” and threw some grit and Sandman into the gears grinding the franchise to a halt.

The biggest problem was Sandman. I was at the comic shop this weekend where they had lots of old time Spidey comics on the wall. Issue 2 was Doc Ock. Issue 1 must’ve been the Green Goblin. Issue 3 was, guess who? The Vulture, but issue 4 was Sandman. So they producers felt they had to stick with the schedule of villains established by the comic book. But Venom is a fanboy favorite, and was added to the trilogy to appease them. So it feels like they started with the Sandman as the prime villain, found out his story was weak, and added Venom. It results in an uneven story.

We first get Sandman. But did I mention Green Goblin Jr? He’s in it and his story line takes the most unconvincing turn of all. Back to Sandman, he’s a two-bit crook on the lam to see his daughter. That’s it, and by the way, he also killed your Uncle Ben. Hunh? Did he really kill him or did they make that up for the movie? Fanboys, help. They needed that in order for Spidey to work himself up for a showdown. Sandman then gets defeated at the two hour mark about which I wanted thought the ending should’ve occurred. He shows up in the last reel though to team up with Venom and kick some Spidey ass. Lame.

Venom was also problematic. They had to explain the entire emotional change in Peter Parker without losing time for Sandman bits. Peter becomes emo boy without the eyeliner. So after Sandman disappears, Venom takes over, but it was plainly a compression of a longer story arc from the comic book and the measly half hour it got didn’t do it justice.

Raimi I respect for making the first two very fine comicbook movies. He had a lot here to handle. Bottom line they should’ve had one villain. I think with the third installment they should’ve gone for the tried and true final act by redoing the first movie (see Indy and Star Wars for hints).

Caught this in the last showing on opening Friday. The audience was looking for a better time. I think plenty of people were disappointed judging from the number of people leaving before the first fake out ending occurred. It didn’t stop them from running to the doors after the second fake out ending, also.

3 of 5 stars

Posted by broderic

Yo! I'm the writer here. Super sauce.

2 Replies to ““Yo, man, Spidey is a byotch! Batman wouldn’t’ve cried!””

  1. I actually like the idea of multiple villians. I want to see Spidey overwhelmed and the weight of the world on his shoulders mentally and physically. But I also would like to see a tighter script.

    SCENE
    A woman is clinging to the side of a building. Brock runs up next to the police captain and zooms in to take a picture.

    Brock
    “Oh my god it’s Gwen”

    Captain
    “My daughter!”

    Captain looks over at Brock

    Captain
    (Continued)
    “Who are you”

    Brock
    “I’m Brock. I work for the Daily Bugle and I am dating your daughter”
    END SCENE

    I could see how it doesn’t seem so bad when you just read that one page of the script. When you put it context with the scenes surrounding it then it just comes out as silly. When filmed it’s sillier yet. So much visually is happening on the screen. It’s actually a wonderful slow build up of a crane hitting the side of the building that just so happens to have Gwen. So all this wonderful orchestrated mayhem is taking place on the screen then they throw in Brock and the Captain. It just becomes the ‘ol “this is what you need to know in the shortest amount of time”. It’s like you’re enjoying this wonderful pizza slice, but you also decide to buy a chicken salad sandwhich just to enjoy your friends fries. Should have just stuck with the pizza then just tasted the fries later.

    But Spidey 3 has a few of these moments. Like the Black Spidey suit. If they moved the scene earlier I think it would have created a better atmosphere. You would already know he has this suit and the movie wouldn’t seem as cluttered. The movie just needed to reorganize a couple scenes since it obviously had enough places in which the audience could soak it in. Instead it seems that everything just happened in clumps.

    I write all this, but I still really enjoyed it. It was an interesting take on a superhero.

    The only thing that bothered me when we watched it at that theater was when MJ got slapped. 80 percent of the theater cheered. People freak me out. The lady in the back row , when we watched “300”, would NOT approve. =)

  2. yeah i realized if they made the venom take over earlier, it wouldve made a difference. coz the venom was like hanging out on his flat, say “oh damn! i have a mind of my own, im gonna get on your sucking suit to make you even darker *sinister laugh*” and really, that venom had a brain to cling onto the bike. great! *i should add this to my review. hahaha!* =o)

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