Author: broderic

Best monologue from a screwball comedy that I have seen so far. It’s a genre of film that can get into.

Not good enough… I said they’re not good enough for him.

Every Jane in the room is giving him the thermometer and he feels they’re just a waste of time. He’s returning to his book, he’s deeply immersed in it. He sees no one except – watch his head turn when that kid goes by. Won’t do you any good, dear, he’s a bookworm, but swing ’em anyway.

Oh, now how about this one. How would you like that hanging on your Christmas tree? Oh you wouldn’t? Well, what is your weakness, brother? Holy smoke, the dropped kerchief! That hasn’t been used since Lily Langtry. You’ll have to pick it up yourself, madam. It’s a shame, but he doesn’t care for the flesh. He’ll never see it.

Look at that girl over to his left. Look over to your left, bookworm. There’s a girl pining for ya. A little further. Just a little further… There! Wasn’t that worth looking for? See those nice store teeth all beaming at you. Oh, she recognizes you! She’s up, she’s down, she can’t make up her mind. She’s up again. She recognizes you! She’s coming over to speak to you. The suspense is killing me. “Why, for heaven’s sake, aren’t you Fuzzy Oathammer I went to manual training school with in Louisville? Oh you’re not? Well, you certainly look exactly like him, it’s certainly a remarkable resemblance… But if you’re not going to ask me to sit down, I suppose you’re not going to ask me to sit down… I’m very sorry, I certainly hope I haven’t caused you any embarrassment, you so and so.”

“I wonder if my tie’s on straight. I certainly upset them, don’t I? Now who else is after me?”

Ah, the lady champion wrestler, wouldn’t she make a houseful? Oh, you don’t like her either. Well, what are you going to do about her? Oh, you just can’t stand it anymore, you’re leaving. These women don’t give you a moment’s peace, do they? Well, go ahead! Go sulk in your cabin. Go soak your head and see if I care!