“Cathartic… ooh, that’s big word for a pie-eyed drunk.”

A few weeks back I caught Beerfest for the fun of it. If you decide to watch it you should do it in jest, as there is no redeeming quality to the movie. It’s just pure funny. I laughed and enjoyed myself immensely at that time. Now, I don’t even remember it like a good night of drinking. Afterwards, I wanted a beer and to get rip-roaring drunk.

3 of 5 stars.

“Screw the small judo man!”

I am still in that pensive mood. I cannot get it out of my head. Most of these dreams feel real, because I want them to be. Yet, they are just figments of my imagination. Are they my subconscious? Do they have meanings? Should I act on them?

Yes. I did. Rashly. And I am such an idiot for it.

This being the technological age, I used the internet. I queried to find if she was alive, where’s she at, and is she close? I struck gold. And that is a problem.

I feel dirty snooping around the internets for scraps of information on her. First resort is always google. Surprisingly, she doesn’t leave much of an impression on the web. She has a very unique name, but it produces very few positive results. Then I tried those peoplefinder search engines. They really do work. Try it sometime. Each of them gives a free summary report which is enough to confirm that that is the person you’re searching for. It is freaky, and I am embarrassed to say that I really wanted to click the pay button for more information. I am desperately lonely about this that I would stoop to something so stupid, so absolutely shameless.

As I pondered about this, I realized the awesome power the internet has. It can retrieve so much details about you’re life that it’s scary. That is why I feel so dirty. It is like I was a peeping tom. No. I am a peeping tom looking through a window at someone else’s life uninvited. I ackowledge that most of the information was publicly available yet I should never have searched for it. I wonder how to live life as an online personality. I guess writing this blog should make me susceptible to my privacy being violated, but I choose this. Sometimes I choose not to. Those free peoplefinder search engines, if people only knew how simple it is to find out things it will make them angry.

As my fingered hovered over the “purchase” button, my conscience kicks in and saves me from making an ass of myself. Yet, I continued to wonder about her all day. In the car I knew that she was gone, but I do one last search which bears fruit. Married. Kids.

*Sigh*

I know now that I can never do this again. This obsession. This preoccupation for a girl that I have not seen in 15 years. This compulsion for a girl that I hadn’t had a decent conversation with in 20 years. This fixation on someone who I don’t even know and never had a chance to know.

I hope it ends here. Those dreams will come. They always do. But I should let them recede into the neurons of my brain. There they’ll stay quiet for awhile but percolate to the surface on occasion to remind me of her. When they do, I’ll perhaps blog them, but no searches for me.

It makes me happy that somewhere she is alive and living a life that is hers. I wish her well. It makes me sad that here I am living the life that is mine.

“Dude, see if you can follow me here. Being inefficient and you being lonely, they’re not the same thing.”

It starts out in the grocery store. I spy I. I maneuver to get close to her. We meet cute. I introduce her to my mom.

Next we’re in her car. It must be a date or something. She’s driving but on the right hand side. Would I like to hear music? She slides in an 8 track, but it plays some recent stuff. I think Lionel Ritchie was on the front of the tape.

Next we’re sitting on a couch. Side by side. My head’s a bit lower than hers. She kisses me. I wonder aloud about all the time we missed being together. She says she’s been waiting all this time. We kiss again. We’re making out now.

This dream put me in a pensive mood this morning. I was distracted at work. It’s another one of my sad, pathetic dreams of girls gone by. Unfortunately, I blog them because they are so damn important to me. There would’ve been a more descriptive account, but I dreamt that post up, too.

This blog is nothing but Mac, movies, and sad, sad dreams. (At least, I’m posting frequently.)

“Plan b isn’t a plan at all. It’s a witch hunt!”

As planned, Apple announced that theire iTunes music store will now sell downloadable movies. Nothing but Disney products. But the original music store opened with just a smattering of songs and look where they are today.

They also re-introduced the iPod mini in the form of the metallic iPod nano. Personally, I think they look ugly and would rather have the scratchable 1st gen nano.

They also updated the iPod shuffle. I want one. $79 for something that small. The only downside is that it is no longer self contained and comes with a USB rechargeable dock. Bulk on the desktop, but small form factor on the go. It’s even metallic which beats out the lame update to the nano.

“Dorks! Dorks! Dorks! Dorks!”

Unlike my buddy,
Wyman Lee, I am not an artist, but we do share the same passion for comics. Whereas he went to the biggy in NYC, I stopped by Baltimore’s Comic Con today with my brother. It’s a little bit smaller, but just as engaging. Mainly we browsed the back issue bins of the dealers. I did get some current issues, because I haven’t been to the comic store in awhile. I also picked up some Gundam toys.

Lou Ferrigno was signing autographs at a booth. He’s pretty bulked up. The veins in his arms were visible from several feet away. We didn’t get his autograph, because he was asking twenty bucks, and I had just spent most of my cash. I should’ve walked across the street from the convention center to the Bank of America ATM and grabbed more cash.

Anyway it was neat. There’s so much to read. I’ll have to go to the comic shop next week to catch up.

“No, thank you Lord Joe, master of all things mechanical and human alike.”

Today, I accomplished what I wanted to do on my bike. I wanted to ride a century before I hit 35. Although, I only rode a metric century, 63 miles, it counts for something. I rode 63.35 miles at the Civil War Century from Thrumont, MD to Gettysburg, PA. We passed through Emmitsburg and the backside of Ski Liberty before riding through the Gettysburg battlefield. It was awesome, and I’ll probably want to do it again next year.

First things first. I woke up early again, packed my car with my gear, and headed out to Thurmont via Route 26. The cool morning air was filled with fog when I reached Frederick county, so the ride was going to be in the early morning mist. As I get closer to the start, I pass some riders. They appeared out of the fog suddenly, so I note that it will be somewhat dangerous until the sun can burn the fog away.

I park. It’s eight o’clock. I am so set. When I get dressed, I find I had left my cycling shoes at home. “Son of a bitch.” I wonder if I can drive back, get them and make it back in time to ride. “Parking closes at 9.” I’m shit out of luck for it would take me 2 hours to go home and back arriving at 10 and missing some of the rest stops along the way. As I go register, I make up my mind. Do it. Ride in your sneakers. Use this calamity to your advantage and make it burn a desire to finish off the ride in style. Fuck it. I go for it.

The ride starts in the cool of the morning. I didn’t wear my arm warmers, because I feel that it was going to heat up later, but the air was still chilly before I was warmed up enough. Riding through the mist for about 45 minutes until the fog lifts was great. Like a dawn patrol, but on a bike.

I make it to the first water stop in an hour or so. I had averaged a good 15 mph! Looks to be about a 4 hour day. I had planned on a 12 mph pace, but I take it. The course was rolling. No hills to climb except for the backside of Ski Liberty. It goes up steep. I go into the red zone thinking it was a short climb, but as I crest the hill, I see it flatten then go up again for another 50 meters. I get off and walk the bike up.

At the second water stop, I grab some food: PBJ and a banana. I fill my water bottles with Gatorade and water. Hopefully, the Gatorade will help me not cramp up later in the ride. When I ride, I usually set my trip computer to display the distance. This time I set it to display my speed. I don’t want to know how many miles are left. It would disappoint me seeing the miles tick by slowly. The second leg averages a little bit less than 15 mph. The legs feel the 33 miles already. I have not ridden past this point so far this year. I am in unchartered territory. Will I have enough to get me through? And where the hell’s Gettysburg?

At this point I am stung by a bee that flew into my helmet. I thrash about trying to knock it away, but don’t know if I am successful. I pull over take off my helmet. A cute girl goes by in a group asking if I’m alright. “Bee!” is all I say. Mental note catch up to that group.

On the third leg, we cruise through the battlefield. I have to come back later and ride the park on a bike for it would be fun, but now I am busy. I rest at the Peach Orchard reading some of the commerative statues. When I climb on my bike again, I pass some kids who cheer the lot of us on. What fun! We cruise past Devil’s Den before leaving the park. I have to do this place again on a leisurely pace.

As we leave Gettysburg, I gain the wheel of four other riders. They’re pushing 20 mph, and I’m loving it except when I throw my chain again!

At the third and final water stop, a sign says that I have done 50 of the 63 miles. Only 13 to go woohoo! As I leave, I suddenly feel the mileage. My legs are getting weaker every turn of the crank. At 52 miles, they don’t feel anything at all. My tank is empty and I hope to make it home. I spin at a leisurely pace hoping that no hills arise. No hills come, but the wind kicks up. I am spinning 11 mph into a headwind and it is no fun. It’s also no fun when I pick up to ladies who latch onto my wheel as I break the wind for them. They back off after riding my wheel for a mile. That sucked.

I pass the cute girl’s group again. They have to wait for a struggling friend. Yet since my legs are dead, they pass me. She’s fast, and her companions complain. I try to keep up, but a steady incline has me falling back.

The final miles are not sliding by quick enough. I watch the odometer on my computer: 57 miles, 58 miles…

We get to the outskirts of Thurmont. A funeral procession passes. I stop and let them through. It’s the hearse, followed by the limo, then some Harleys, and some mods on scooters! I tag along on the back as another cute girl goes by. I try to catch her, but gain no ground. In the town, we’re caught in traffic. It’s stressful.

Finally, the finish. I look down 4 hours and 15 minutes to ride 63.35 miles. Sweet! I averaged about 14+ mph. Not bad. I get something to eat. Ice cream.

It’s been a good year for my cycling. I have put about 350 miles on my Gios and I had another 50 on my Bianchi. I think I’ll be slowing down a bit. Until next year that is.

“Dude, you can’t adopt a baby.”

I am so ready!!! Except I have taken the week off. I hope that doesn’t affect my performance.

Dear cyclists,

This is a final message to the over 1,000 participants who have preregistered for CWC 2006 and to those who have not preregistered and are still planning to attend.

We are looking forward to a safe successful event. The weather looks great for the mid-Atlantic, so we are still expecting more riders to register.

Active.com is our preferred method for registration and will be available through Thursday, September 7, 2006. Preregistration will help us plan for the event and ease the Day of Event registration lines. (We look forward to seeing those who have already preregistered!)

Here are the key times you need to remember.

[SNIP]

Saturday:
Parking lot opens at 6 AM (Turn off your headlights)

Registration opens at 7 AM. We will try to get an earlier start to avoid the lines that we saw last year. When we are ready, we will start registration.

Registration closes at 10:30 for those riding the shorter routes.

Course opens at 7AM. Remember that early mornings in September are often damp and foggy. Please be careful.

Rest Stop Hours:

Gathland-9 AM to 12:30 PM
Mt. Aetna-8:30 AM to 3:30 PM
Fairfield-8 AM to 4:30 PM
Barlow-9:30 AM to 4:30 PM
Loy’s Station-8 AM to 12 Noon
Thurmont- Serving sandwiches till 5:00PM

Shut down at Thurmont — 6 PM

The busiest parking back ups will occur from 7-8:30. If you are riding in the metric or half century, you can avoid the congestion by arriving after 8:30.

Please be aware that the community park across from the event site is not intended for event participants. Consider the residents and the Town of Thurmont during the day.

Finally a note about you and your equipment. We assume your preparation for the event is complete. Make a final check of your bike and repair gear. REI bike mechanics will be at the ride start and there will be mechanics at the major rest stops. SAG vehicles will be patrolling the course, and the call-in # for SAG support is 443-340-2268.

Thanks! See you there!