“Where were you last night at 3 A.M. when I was watching Steel Magnolias and crying my eyes out? “

broderic on September 30, 2006

Ok, I’m a sucker. Let me admit that I expected to find some kind of mirror image of my life in School for Scoundrels. Yet, if my life was that unfunny, I would want to die.

This movie is a supposed comedy. It clocks in at a bit over the 100 minutes, but it felt like an eternity. When choosing a movie to watch this weekend, I complained that The Guardian had a long running time just about 2.25 hours. Yet, School for Scoundrels felt very long. I was surprised to see that it played short as it felt like I was in the theatre for a while. Time slows down when watching something this unfunny.

Anyway the plot goes like this: loser guy pines for the cute neighbor, tries to woo her using tactic learned from the School for Scoundrels, becomes rivals with his teacher for the neighbor’s affections, and must destroy him before he is destroyed. Apart from going to a school and the rivalry aspect, I am that loser guy. Even more so since I don’t know if I have a cute neighbor to try and woo.

The movie combines some story elements from Fight Club — secret, guy’s only club and Something About Mary — chasing the girl of your dreams against other suitors. It doesn’t do a good job of combining the two. I was disappointed.

The cast was sucky. John Heder should not be the lead. I felt he did this movie soon after hitting it big with his Napoleon Dynamite role, and he decided to play it like that. “Sheesh!” The lion as king of his domain was a significant metaphor, but for that dude he should’ve been a liger! Billy Bob Thorton is the usual grouchy Billy Bob. I don’t know why he bothers. They had another movie he will be in later this yerr in the previews and I felt that that’s all he knows how to play. The cute neighbor (Jacinda Barrett) fell in love with the guy in the end which was so unbelievable that I expected a unicorn to come prancing through the theatre within minutes of the ending. Barrett had a non-descript role, but her character is the type of girl I can dig. Bookish and cute, but her role was insignificant. She played it adequately.

In the end, this movie was not very funny. It was boring at times. I was amazed at how much the supporting cast was wasted. Actors and comedians such as Luiz Guzman, Todd Louiso, Sarah Silverman and David Cross were wasted. They’re all fine comedic talents, but they had nothing here to make us laugh. With a supporting cast like that?! What happened?

I did laugh at some points, but overall this film is dull and not funny.

1 of 5 stars.

“If I spent $400 on a chair, I would have to eat it.”

broderic on September 27, 2006

I was just cruising through my links (see the blogroll to your right) and from Jason Kottke I run into the author of a book I saw at BN, “No One Cares What You Had for Lunch: 100 Ideas For Your Blog.”

I know a few people who might need this as their blogs are infrequently updated.

Ok. I know it’s totally unfair to criticize them. I like writing on my blog about nothing and everything. It’s also more like “what I had for lunch,” but I think the few people who do read this blog can get the gist of what I’m like or what I like or what I’m thinking.

Enough of this meta-blog thoughts, what did you have for lunch.

PS. NewsRadio Quote Month is coming to a close and I have yet to check out season 1 and 2 again.

“Benedict Arnold slept with George Washington.”

broderic on September 26, 2006

Boy! That Keith Olbermann sure is shrill That rant against the fucks at fox news is one in a string of excellent rants against the fucking corrupt republican party. This other rant is just as good. And finally, this rant takes the cake.

Fuck the republicans and that fucktard president. They’ve ruined this country worst than any terrorist has.

“Gorgeous?” “Pretty with great hair.”

broderic on September 23, 2006

Here’s a list of 100 best videos according to Stylus magazine.

Another list? Yes, but it’s music videos!

I don’t pretend to know (or care) what the best music video is. Ever. I just wanted to point out a few songs that are way cool to see again. There’s Cake’s “The Distance,” Daft Punk’s “Around the World,” and The Chemical Brother’s “Let Forever Be.” I watched them at work and loved every minute I was goofing off.

Anyway, make of this list what you will. Music videos can be trite, but they’re fun when it’s a song you like.

“Throwdini!”

broderic on September 21, 2006

The Illusionist. You have seen this before when it was called The Usual Suspects. Don’t let that make you not see it, because it is a fine story. The heart of the matter is that love conquers all. And the only way to win back the lost girl of your past, the love of your life, is through magic! No, just kidding, but that is something funny and hilarious.

This film is better than the rest of the summer movies that came out in August. It’s a real gem, because of the story. Also, Jessica Biel is hot in jodpurs.

3 of 5 stars.

“Cathartic… ooh, that’s big word for a pie-eyed drunk.”

broderic on September 16, 2006

A few weeks back I caught Beerfest for the fun of it. If you decide to watch it you should do it in jest, as there is no redeeming quality to the movie. It’s just pure funny. I laughed and enjoyed myself immensely at that time. Now, I don’t even remember it like a good night of drinking. Afterwards, I wanted a beer and to get rip-roaring drunk.

3 of 5 stars.

“Screw the small judo man!”

broderic on September 15, 2006

I am still in that pensive mood. I cannot get it out of my head. Most of these dreams feel real, because I want them to be. Yet, they are just figments of my imagination. Are they my subconscious? Do they have meanings? Should I act on them?

Yes. I did. Rashly. And I am such an idiot for it.

This being the technological age, I used the internet. I queried to find if she was alive, where’s she at, and is she close? I struck gold. And that is a problem.

I feel dirty snooping around the internets for scraps of information on her. First resort is always google. Surprisingly, she doesn’t leave much of an impression on the web. She has a very unique name, but it produces very few positive results. Then I tried those peoplefinder search engines. They really do work. Try it sometime. Each of them gives a free summary report which is enough to confirm that that is the person you’re searching for. It is freaky, and I am embarrassed to say that I really wanted to click the pay button for more information. I am desperately lonely about this that I would stoop to something so stupid, so absolutely shameless.

As I pondered about this, I realized the awesome power the internet has. It can retrieve so much details about you’re life that it’s scary. That is why I feel so dirty. It is like I was a peeping tom. No. I am a peeping tom looking through a window at someone else’s life uninvited. I ackowledge that most of the information was publicly available yet I should never have searched for it. I wonder how to live life as an online personality. I guess writing this blog should make me susceptible to my privacy being violated, but I choose this. Sometimes I choose not to. Those free peoplefinder search engines, if people only knew how simple it is to find out things it will make them angry.

As my fingered hovered over the “purchase” button, my conscience kicks in and saves me from making an ass of myself. Yet, I continued to wonder about her all day. In the car I knew that she was gone, but I do one last search which bears fruit. Married. Kids.

*Sigh*

I know now that I can never do this again. This obsession. This preoccupation for a girl that I have not seen in 15 years. This compulsion for a girl that I hadn’t had a decent conversation with in 20 years. This fixation on someone who I don’t even know and never had a chance to know.

I hope it ends here. Those dreams will come. They always do. But I should let them recede into the neurons of my brain. There they’ll stay quiet for awhile but percolate to the surface on occasion to remind me of her. When they do, I’ll perhaps blog them, but no searches for me.

It makes me happy that somewhere she is alive and living a life that is hers. I wish her well. It makes me sad that here I am living the life that is mine.