It’s been a long while since I remembered a dream that I had. I woke up this morning with one that was all too vivid.
I was at the locally renowned steeple chase to cheer on that girl. She was participating and she was the favorite. I watched her walk the course and inspect the fences. Then they lined up at the start. I had wanted to call out her name, but instead waved to her and gave her the thumbs up hoping that she would see me. She had a different last name which made me wondered if she was remarried. I wondered if she divorced her husband as well.
Anyway, she didn’t see me surrounded by her parents and fans and the other riders. The gunshot to start goes off and away they go over the first fence and gone from view. I chase after, but pause anyway because it would be pointless. I’m left to wonder the outcome of the race.
After a bit, I hear the cheers and wonder if she had won. I say her name out loud and I say to myself I should’ve done something about it.
That’s when I bump into my best friend from grade school. He was there to support her, too. We chat for a bit and part. I feel loneliness and regret. I wish to have not lost touch with a precious friend, so I go running to find him. I ask if we can stay in touch. There is some anger for not doing so all these years. I exchange contact with him, but he’s still using a flip phone. The shock of which finds me waking up.
I feel loneliness and regret.
To remember friends who I’ve long abandoned to my memories is painful. I wish I had been a better friend to have stayed in touch. I’m hoping they are both living happy fulfilling lives.
