“You know, back in the service we had a saying: You can’t expect your troops to salute you if you’re sleeping with the sergeant.”
NewsRadio Quote Month is dead.
Long live NewsRadio Quote Month!
Let’s Be Cops
Let’s Be Cops. Let’s not.
Let’s not be unfunny. Let’s not be about a white getting drunk on the authority of the badge. Let’s not be about his black friend worried about where that power is taking them. Let’s not be about fake cops breaking the law. Let’s not be real cops using any means necessary to capture the bad guy. Let’s not be about fake cops abusing their power.
In the days since #ferguson, this movie is worst and worst. Cops is bad. Fake cops is badder.
2 of 5 stars.
Guardians of the Galaxy
Watching Guardians of the Galaxy gave me the feeling that I had seen this movie before. If only I was 7 years old again and without the internet hype machine, then watching this movie would remind me of Star Wars.
Like Star Wars, there was a ragtag band of scoundrels gathered together to save the universe. Instead of Darth Vader, there was some Kree dressed up in darkness. Instead of a princess, there was a bad ass assassin. Instead of Chewbacca, there was Groot. Instead of Luke and Han, there was Starlord and the raccoon. And there was Draxx.
It was a pleasure to watch. Lots of lasers and lots of the Marvel Universe only true Marvel fans know about. Kree? Thanos? Nova Prime? Hunh?! What? I never read those comics. I just read X-men. Still, even not knowing, I had fun with these A-holes.
I wish I was 7 again to enjoy this like Star Wars.
3 of 5 stars.
Lucy
Lucy started off as a revenge flick, then ended up being 2001. Wha, what?!
Scarlett Johanson plays Lucy, an American ex-pat in Asia, who gets caught up in a drug trafficking scheme. The drug in question if taken in a large enough dose makes you use 100% of your brain. And when you use 100% of your brain you can manipulate matter! Wha, what!!
I really wanted a revenge flick. I wanted to see Scarlett Johanson to kick drug kingpin ass. But she was done far too early. Then we started exploring what the heck.
Scarlett Johanson was Data from TNG.
3 of 5 stars.
Hercules
Hercules has the Rock in full on scene chewing mode. It also has the rest of the cast including Ian McCane, John Hurt, and Rufus Sewell digging in and chewing it up just as the Rock has. If you need to see a B movie this summer, you can’t do wrong with Hercules.
This film tries to dispel the Hercules myth. Son of Zeus? Doer of the 12 trials? Lover? Warrior? Indian chief!
According to the movie, Hercules is a band of ne’er-do-wells who survived all the trials and tribulations to make the myth of Hercules. Of course, the actual Hercules leads this band which includes a ‘leaf’ smoking soothsayer, an Amazon, a Celtic berserker, and Rufus Sewell who you will wait for the third act turncoat. The Amazon made the movie for me. She had a striking resemblance to Nicole Kidman. I kept wishing it was Nicole Kidman, because the movie would’ve been awesome if it was. But it wasn’t, and yet I kept seeing Nicole Kidman kicking ass.
So we find out the myth is bigger than the man, but the man is as much a hero because he acts like one. Cool. Watching the movie helped out a boring week on bug watching for work.
3 of 5 stars.
Snowpiercer
Snowpiercer currently has a 95% fresh rating at Rotten Tomatoes. Reading through the capsule reviews most all of them really like the movie. I must be in the minority 5% because I did not like the movie one bit.
Snowpiercer is science fiction movie about a future Earth covered in snow and cold with the remnants of human civilization living on a train that constantly circles the world. If it stops, humans will go extinct. Passengers on that train are either the haves, the upper 1% who inhabit the front of the train with sushi, clubs, and books, or they are the have-nots the sorry passengers at the back. They yearn for the type of stuff that the haves have. Into this world is Chris Evens who wants to go from the back of the train to the front. He leads a revolution.
With that set up, Snowpiercer would lead you to believe that the film will be an allegory. Except, it wasn’t. Yes, there was the battle between the haves and the have-nots. But there was also the musical number in the middle. And then Bong Joon Ho’s favorite, the key master and his daughter. They came from another movie. The allegory was lost. The movie had many different tones to it. How can you really make it an allegory when it was all over the map?
I think that Sucker Punch had a better train fight. This is the second Bong Joon Ho film that I didn’t like as much as others had. The first film? The Host. I didn’t like that one as much. This film makes me feel like I did during The Dark Knight — I think I’m missing something.
2 of 5 stars.
Link of the Day [7.1714]
I swore off eating ramen after coming home from the Philippine escapade earlier this year. Now that it's summer time, I feel like some. Ramen! I haven't tried the ramen shop that just opened up in Baltimore. I heard that it was only okay. I haven't cooked any cup noodle or made my own from the dehydrated noodle square. I would like to try the noodles from today's link. It would be easy to. They only service some of the hippest ramen shops in the US. I guess I should mosey on over to one of those and get a nice bowl of shoyu ramen.
How to Train Your Dragon 2
How to Train Your Dragon 2 gets the thankless task of being the last film to open before the big juggernaut of Michael Bay’s Transforming dinobots or as I like to call it: The End of Days! Dragon doesn’t have the same action cache as a Michael Bay film, but it is a part of a better, coherent franchise.
Dragon 2 begins a few years after the first one ended. Dragons are the norm in Hiccup’s town; they are embraced, loved, and cared for. The town spends their time doing dragon races. Hiccup spends it exploring the world for more dragons. He’s grown up and may be ready for being the leader of his town. His dad thinks so. He doesn’t.
While exploring Hiccup eventually finds his mom. She’s a recluse living in a dragon world communing with dragons. She’s a natural dragon rider who believes her son has inherited her skills. Hiccup has but is not in a league like her mom. Hiccup has inherited his mother’s dragon nurturing skill. He’s nothing like his dad. But the movie will show that he will be his father’s son.
The mother could’ve been a more interesting character. She’s strong willed and talented. She knows dragons showing Hiccup a thing or two about the Night Fury he rides. Yet, as the movie progresses she becomes boring. She doesn’t get to use her dragon prowess to defeat the big bad. She disappears from the plot in the tail end of the movie. She could’ve been used better.
The animation looked phenomenal. The famous DP, Roger Deakins, is a consultant, and the camera work is absolutely amazing. It’ll wow you with its depth of field, shading, and lighting.
Finally, as with Godzilla, this film had kaiju. It’s a big kaiju lovefest.
3 of 5 stars.
Quote of the Day [7.04.14]
USA! USA! USA!
The bombastic chant heard at sports stadiums around the world