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I went into Pompeii hoping that Paul WS Anderson would produce a good bad movie like his The Three Musketeers. Unfortunately, it was a terrible, terrible movie. From Kit Harrington, the leading man trying to be Orlando Bloom channeling Erica Bana, to Emily Browning, the romantic interest not filling the Mila Jovovich role, this movie missed on all cylinders. It was derivative of Titanic and Gladiator, and it didn’t try to hide that fact.

Pompeii plot is about the last days of the city under threat of Mount Vesuvius. Browning plays the daughter of the chief merchant of the city. She has just returned from Rome sickened by the political machinations. She’s come home to find that her Senator suitor, Kiefer Sutherland and a weird accent, holds the fate of her father’s ambitions in his hands. Harrington is a slave and gladiator, brought to Pompeii for the big festival. He was a member of a Celtic tribe slaughterd by Sutherland. He’s come for his revenge. He’s joined in his quest by Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje playing the Djimon Hounsou from Gladiator. His arch is exactly the same. He’s Harrington’s nemesis first, then friend afterwards. This all happens under the threat of the volcano.

The acting was bad. The story and plot movements were bad. Keifer Sutherland was bad. I wish I had something good to say, but don’t watch this ever.

1 of 5 stars.