Spooky Rapping Crypt

Link of the Day [9.15.11]Replace Houston with Baltimore in today's link and you'll have the story of the Orioles. Except in this case the O's never got to the World Series in the last 30 years, and they never had a winning season in 14 years. Plus, they haven't produced a star out of their farm system since Cal Ripken, Jr. For all this talk about Houston being rock bottom, let me paraphrase Brad Pitt from the soon to be released movie, Moneyball: there's rock bottom, then there' fifty feet of crap, and then there's [the A's], and then there's the Orioles.http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/6967153/rock-bottom-h-town

This Picture From a Game We Won

Shagging Flies

I’m gonna recant what I said about going to see bad baseball teams play bad, bad, bad baseball. It hurts, and I’m not hardcore enough. Yet, I was there for the 13-0 beatdown tonight. Every pitcher giving up a home run, even if they didn’t give up a home run. It was a painful 9 innings and 3 hours. At least, I caught the beginnings of the Grand Prix of Baltimore.

The Hardcore is composed of the people I saw at the Yard tonight.

There’s the gentleman who has season tickets a row behind me. He’s been rotating his companions between his children and his friends. He jinxes us as he’s always there for the beatdown.

There’s the lady and the gentleman who have the two season ticket seats on my right. He’s old and she’s younger. I can’t guess their relationship. Father-daughter? Husband-wife? Gentleman-escort? I can’t tell. I’m afraid to ask. I’m hoping its husband-‘trophy’ wife. They are an interesting couple. She’s also pretty.

There’s the kids from Hopkins, the freshman from LA and NJ. They’ve come to catch a game at the Yard. Wish they got to see a better game. Although, I did tell them to go sneak into the seats behind home plate. Hopefully, you got to see them on television.

There’s the group of high school kids. They came down from the upper level to catch the final innings. They had seen last night’s game, too. It’s great to egg these kids on in their taunting. We’re getting on the Jumbo-tron!

There’s the dude from work. He’s still at the game in the ninth. What are we doing and why do we subject ourselves to this junk? WHY!

There’s the guy who’s vacation is watching some ball games. He wore an Orioles shirt tonight, but wore a Blue Jays shirt last night. He’s on his way to Boston for three games, Yankees then Rangers. I thought he was here for the Grand Prix. He hates motorsports.

There’s the kids who sat in the seats for the first two innings. They were very loud and I kept looking at the dad a few rows back. I couldn’t help it. Maybe, subconsciously, I wanted him to get his kids out of there. They did clear out, but they cheered loudly for the Orioles even though we wer down 7 by the third.

In there place came the mother and her 2 children. They were shooed away by the husband-wife couple.

I didn’t talk up the ball girl. It wasn’t Kirsten.

Orioles play a day game tomorrow and I doubt they’ll get 5000 fans. I don’t think they got 10000 tonight. We’re number 32!

1000 Yard Stare

Shagging Flies

Though this team really sucks and cannot play sound fundamental baseball, it’s still fun to go down to the Yard and catch a game. Although, at times, it is very trying, but still, it beats cancer. Following the team will kill you (RIP Flanny), so only the hardcore can get through a season. I’ve been through 4 and now I have the thousand yard stare.

“Hey Joker, we ought to put you up for the congressional medal of… ugly!”

“The Horror… The Horror…”

Postponed

Shagging Flies

I would’ve been at the early game of today’s scheduled Yankee-Oriole tilt, but Hurricane Irene caused today’s games to be cancelled. Unlike Joe Gerardi, I’m okay with it. It was a makeup game for another rained out game from April so another week or two doesn’t make a difference. I’m not gonna whine about it. I can wait. Maybe another 14 years.

You have to wait for those baseballs to come flying your way. Maybe you’ll have some light hitting middle infielder taking his cuts, then you’ll have the heavy bomber. You stand close to the wall for the ground rule double, then you back up, way back for the bombs. You’ve got to position right. Catch that ball!

Call For the Ball

Shagging Flies

You’ve got to want it. If you’re standing on the wall, call for the ball. Look at a player, call his name, throw your hands up, and yell, “Throw me a ball!” It don’t matter what team. It don’t matter what player. Do it. Call for the ball.

The nephew was shy. He couldn’t even ask Guthrie for a ball. Me? I just yelled, “Hey, Blue Jay throw me a ball!” I had no idea his name. I had no idea his number which was unfortunate as I would usually call them by that — “Hey, 57! Throw me one.”

Sometimes they’ll throw you one. It’s happened. It’ll happen again. Thanks, Nick!

Early Gate Time

Shagging Flies

Last time at Camden Yards, I took my nephew to batting practice. This was for a Blue Jays game. We waited for Jose Bautista to “hit it here” and he did deliver…

Arson, Inc

If you all followed me on twitter, you would’ve been treated to my crazy rants (crazants!) on how I feel about the Orioles. I think I’ve raged against them every game. Last night, they were coming back (I know, right?), but then Matusz who although kept them in the game through six, still sucks though, was relieved by the worse bunch of “pitchers” in the MLB. I’ve gone to calling these guys arsonists: the opposite of what relief pitching should be doing. They’re throwing gas on the fire!

Anyhow, I believe this song is appropriate for our bullpen. Wouldn’t it be funny if Camden Yards music director played this for our chief arsonist Kevin Gregg when he comes out in relief? It would be awesome!

CamdenChat.com

Go to CamdenChat.com to commiserate with fellow Orioles fans on how bad our home team is. This team is worst than they were last year. It’s hard to say that, but it’s true.

I can’t watch this team

Los Angeles v Baltimore July 22, 2011: I can't watch this team

My brother can not watch the Orioles. I can’t either now that they are terrible. This team, this organization can not do anything correct. No pitching. No hitting. No defense. This is hell.

The worse part about being an Orioles fan is that you know that we haven’t hit rock bottom yet. There is worse to come. Truly the Angelos need to be impeached.