「人は夢を二度見る」

broderic on April 11, 2023

Kubo Shiori and Yamashita Mizuki. Yamashita Mizuki and Kubo Shiori. One and one and two and two. They are 3rd Generation aces for Nogizaka46, and they’ll forever be linked together in fans’ minds.

In the summer of 2016, Nogizaka46 held auditions for a new, third generation of members. The finale of the audition process was participation on the online streaming site, SHOWROOM, where the candidates spent about an hour just chatting and interacting with live stream viewers. At the time, both were anonymous to fans, but they spotted something in them making both highly popular. They were at the time second and third. Yamashita edging out Kubo.

After they passed, they would find themselves in competition again. This time in Nogizaka’s 3 Principals stage show. Principal is a play upon which the audience gets to choose which members participate in the play. Another audition. Kubo came out with the slight edge voted to participating in the play just one more vote than Yamashita.

They were always squaring against each other. It may have been the basis of Kubo taking a hiatus in 2018 because of this competition. Was it a challenge?

Maybe, but they were quite a combo. They named their pairing, “KuboShita,” and fans love them. Nothing but admiration amongst the pair. Even though Yamashita had earned the Ace moniker, Kubo was close behind. Kubo is the more beloved amongst the members themselves. Either way they are at the forefront of Nogizaka.

Anyhow, the single has been out for a couple of weeks. Please give it a listen. I love this song. I love this pair. I just love Nogizaka46.

“Have you ever lost something very dear to you?” “Well, yeah. Yeah, when I was twelve, we had this dog…” “I was thinking more along the lines of a massive sum of cash.”

broderic on September 26, 2020

It’s been a long while since I remembered a dream that I had. I woke up this morning with one that was all too vivid.

I was at the locally renowned steeple chase to cheer on that girl. She was participating and she was the favorite. I watched her walk the course and inspect the fences. Then they lined up at the start. I had wanted to call out her name, but instead waved to her and gave her the thumbs up hoping that she would see me. She had a different last name which made me wondered if she was remarried. I wondered if she divorced her husband as well.

Anyway, she didn’t see me surrounded by her parents and fans and the other riders. The gunshot to start goes off and away they go over the first fence and gone from view. I chase after, but pause anyway because it would be pointless. I’m left to wonder the outcome of the race.

After a bit, I hear the cheers and wonder if she had won. I say her name out loud and I say to myself I should’ve done something about it.

That’s when I bump into my best friend from grade school. He was there to support her, too. We chat for a bit and part. I feel loneliness and regret. I wish to have not lost touch with a precious friend, so I go running to find him. I ask if we can stay in touch. There is some anger for not doing so all these years. I exchange contact with him, but he’s still using a flip phone. The shock of which finds me waking up.

I feel loneliness and regret.

To remember friends who I’ve long abandoned to my memories is painful. I wish I had been a better friend to have stayed in touch. I’m hoping they are both living happy fulfilling lives.

Saito Yuuri Cleaned My House

broderic on February 5, 2018

I awoke around 2:30 this morning. Then I checked SHOWROOM to see who was going to do the Nogizaka46 in Asia show. Saito Yuuri. I couldn’t keep awake. I passed out with her cheerful voice in my head…

Two Nogi idols show up at my house. Not sure why. We hanging. They end up cleaning the clutter.

I must confess I’m an idol fan. That I am a Nogi fan.

Saito Yuuri gives me that “No shit, Sherlock” look. She can guess from the posters hanging around my house, and from all the Nogi merchandise she put away. Yeah, about that…

Woke up and she was still genki. Rolled over and back to sleep. If only…

Blind

broderic on June 20, 2014

Strange dream this morning. No, not about that girl. Nor the other one. But about a girl. More likely, girls in general.

I was in a golf cart at some golf course with my mom driving. She was driving haphazardly giving no courtesy to the players out on the course. A group on the tee was trying to hit us as we drove. I watched ball after ball come lazily drifting down at us. They were all nice drives.

At one hole, my mom knew one of the players. He asked the usual stuff of me: age, work, married or single. When he found out I was single, he said he I was just right for his daughter.

So, I ended up on a blind date. Which starts off with me waiting at some family restaurant. The waitresses know I was waiting for a girl on a date, so were harassing me in the way women tease men. I ordered a drink.

Next thing I knew, my date was there. We exchange pleasantries and begin to order. I try to order something that doesn’t require me to use my hands. No shrimp! Maybe a plate of chicken. We place our order and have another drink. I would need to go use the toilet. I excuse myself, the waitresses giggle, and I head for the bar which was where the toilets were located.

I would run into people making sure that my date went alright. Cousin Bob and Cousin Gigi in her silly floppy hat smoking cigars at the bar. CapitolSwell hanging out. I finish and head back.

She had people there making sure her date went alright. Her dad, her sister, her brother, and her brother’s girlfriend who was annoying. She was hysterical that they were going to break up and quickly dashed from the table with the brother giving chase. There was a plant on the table that made it difficult to talk to anyone at the table. I tried to move it with no success.

I’m there at a table waiting for the food to arrive on a blind date with a girl whose family is occupying most of the table. We haven’t even begun a discussion.

Then I woke up and wondered why I had such a dream.

Wait, WHAT?! Who? I mean ME?

broderic on January 15, 2014

Because @margeemateo asked, here’s the dream. It occurred this morning between 4:30 and 6:00. I know because I woke up twice, and perhaps it was the second sleep wherein I went into REM.

Anyhow…

We were at a bar, or at a restaurant, or in a park, somewhere where we can gather. It was the usual crew, including @margeemateo, and we were all drinking beer. I think I knew a guy amongst the crowd at the bar.

I slap him on the back! It’s the guy from when I worked at Ruby’s. Not the short blonde fellow, but the bus boy. I think. Perhaps. Maybe.

“What’s up!” I say.

“Drinking! Long time no see.”

Then I spy a girl amongst the guys at the bar — a familiar face. “Who’s that there?”

The guy says, “My girlfriend. You know.”

It’s S! And she’s gotten old. As have we all. More round in places, but still the prettiest smile and the prettiest brown eyes. I’ll recognize her the same. Or is this a dream and it’s wish fulfillment on my end?

She goes, “Hey, howdy!” and gives a kiss hello except it’s on the lips and like we were never separated for these 17 years.

How the heck is she going out with that guy? How the heck is she still around? How did I miss my chance at this? I could’ve been that guy. Why was I a chicken to even try to be that guy? I suck!

Then they both talk about Neil, the blonde guy. His name isn’t Neil, and S’s name is Mary in this dream.

And then I remembered I had been out drinking with Neil recently in another dream! In that one, we were hanging out in the park drinking. That’s how I remember Neil.

Yeah, we were having a fun time. It was good to see her. Then I started thinking that I can have her. I’m better than that guy! I haven’t missed my chance yet. I’m still a chicken because I have to begin scheming and plotting.

“How are your kids doing?”

“We don’t have kids.”

I can still do this.

That’s when I introduced my friends. They were sitting in a car and I had to do it through an open window. @margeemateo was there too.

Then I woke up and wondered what the hell this dream meant? Or does it mean anything. It means nothing.

She Was

broderic on July 22, 2013

Fresh dream about S. 

Not sure if it was at Ocean City or in Spain. 
Started like any other dream: we were on vacation. I met up with her at our condo or villa. She was much older but she was still beautiful. There were a ton of us. She was studying or doing some school but she decided to come over and hang out. Then we suddenly had a bright idea to go out to Camillo and Gigi’s place. She didn’t want to go, but went any way. I drove a bus. 
There was plenty of drinking and fun times.  We were out late. S had a conversation with my mom. 
Then it was time to go home. I woke her up by tickling her feet. I said did she want to go home. Yes. Then I woke up everyone else.  I was going to drive the bus.  I woke up Cousin Bob who was passed out in a garbage bag rain coat. Cousin Ness was shaking her head with how late it was. We were heading back to the Condo or the Villa. 
Before we left, I asked S what her plans were for the next night. I wanted to ask her out on a date.  She said she had to study. She went out tonight, but she didn’t expect to have been out all night. My date question was not asked. I was too scared she’d turn me down. 
While driving back. We discussed the deaths of our fathers. She was looking as old as we are. I remarked about the passing of my father. She said that in the conversation with my mom that she looked like her father. I said were. She goes to show me up close. Her eyes? No, she pulls up her hair. I noticed her age. She’s still as pretty as I thought she was 17 years ago. She says her forehead. I smile about that. 
We get back. Everyone runs out the bus. I have to drive some guys back to another place. I’m driving the wrong way. I take crazy paths just to make a u-turn. 
This dream started in Gilman as a senior in the new senior room with new lockers. It progressed through chapel at church.  Then it got me onto the beach where S was. Darnit she was so pretty. 

15 Hours Later

broderic on July 3, 2012

I should’ve written this post this morning, but work got in the way. Can I remember much about the dream? It had S in it, and it was delicious.

(Wait. It’s slipping away!)

I end up sleeping with her. Chaste. Curled up together. Spooning. Maybe.

I get up. She stays in bed. The Bob tries to horn in on my action. She is not amused.

She gets up. “Do these pajama tops have pajama bottoms?” Yes. Grab them from the dresser drawer. We’ve got bush.

The brother and the kids are down in the living room. It’s 4 AM. That girl is amazing. I know, bro. I know.

Take a shower. Get taunted by people who think the girl should be with them, but she’s with me. So I strut. Why is the shower in a glass room?

End up taking my luggage out of my hotel room. Walk up two flights to the 13th floor.

That girl is amazing.

Yes she was.

Public Transit Twist

broderic on April 22, 2012

Crazy movie-like dream involving I. It must be written down or else lose it to the haze of memory as I wake. This dream had a great story line with a beginning middle and an end. Yet, it is already going.

I calls me out of the blue, and invites me over to her parents house on Saturday. They live right down the road from me. Really, they did in real life. I’m ecstatic and can’t wait for the weekend to come.

On the day, I take public transportation or maybe walk over. When I get there, she invites me in. Her parents are not there, but she’s not alone in the house. She’s with a blonde haired young dude who she introduces me to. The guy can’t stay and leaves us to ourselves. I at first think the guy is a neighbor; he’s young and as he leaves, he walks down the street. Later, dude! I get to spend a Saturday with I!

This part of the dream is leaving me now.

We drink coffee. We hang out. We talk about our lives that has passed. We clean up her parents house. I am having a good time. It feels like I may have a chance with her again. At one point she goes to throw some things out, and I give her a hand. As she walks out the door with the garbage bag, she mentions that she never was married. She never had kids. I get the shakes hearing this. The window of opportunity just opened, right?

I start turning on the charm and try to be less subtle in my passes. I put the moves on her getting close to her, and she begins to feel uncomfortable. I back off slightly not wanting to ruin things. Then it is evening, and I had to go.

I’m taking the bus back home. She’s steps out for a minute as I get my things together. I’m giddy trying to figure out how to restart our friendship and turn it into a relationship. Can I finally go out with I? Is she home to stay? She did say she liked me and missed me right before I got all forward, right? Yes, maybe, hopefully.

But she returns with the young blonde boy who I thought was her neighbor.

We get on the bus. Me and I on one side; the blonde boy on the other. I’m very happy thinking how to end this right. I think that I should ask her out to dinner or drinks or get her phone number. I can envision establishing a relationship wherein we end up married. It just may happen. She is my über-girl, and it would mean a lot to have her as a girlfriend.

As we are jostled around, I make a pass on her. I attempt footsies. I tickle her toe with mine except that it didn’t really tickle. It seemed I scratched her with my toenails. She cries out, and I know that I’ve just killed any chance with her. She rubs her toe, and then the twist of this dream happens. The blonde boy immediately jumps to her side and embraces her! Comforts her. He rubs her feet and relaxes her. She gives him a peck on the forehead, but it is a signal to me that she is spoken for. She had brought him along as a hint that she had a boyfriend! My hopes are shot, and I can’t of think of anything to salvage the situation. Maybe I can get in the friend zone and bide my time.

I wake up without ever finishing that bus ride.

Megamillion Fever Dreams

broderic on April 3, 2012

Now that the Megamillions frenzy is over, we can breathe, laugh, and cry about the whole last week. Why? It’s because I had been daydreaming about winning. Hoping beyond hope to hit the jackpot. Praying for something that will never happen, but believing that just maybe, just maybe it may.

One of the winning tickets was bought down the road. I was at work on a Saturday when I heard that it was in Baltimore County. To continue working was difficult. I sat banging away code and thought maybe, just maybe, I had the winning ticket. I left work quickly determined to find out if I did.

I drove home thinking of all the ways to enjoy that money.

Of course I didn’t win. Just my luck. Yet, I knew. There were no cameras around the Exxon at work from which I bought my ticket. There would have been television crews to look for the winners. I didn’t see any; I wasn’t a winner.

There’s lots I would’ve done with that cash. I would dream about that lots. Who I would share it with? Who else I would share it with? I wouldn’t have a job quitting right there on the spot, because I don’t want to work no more. That was the last I could think, just get the hell out of work. One of the last things I need a new job.

Up In Morning

broderic on January 10, 2012

I debated about writing up this dumb dream when I arose from bed. I didn't want to write it up because I had to get up and shower. I thought I wasn't going to, but on the commute to work I decided to post it.It starts out in a school room is all I can remember from the beginning half. I guess we were studying and S was in my class. I think I was getting cozy-friendly with her during studies.Then we were in my Aunt's house. It must've been some kind of baby shower as there were nothing but women with little kids running through the house. S was around. I wanted to show her how cool I was around babies so I grabbed the nearest tyke. I was scolded because I had let her slip through my arms. Imagine my surprise as I stood around lots of mothers with a little toddler dangling from her blanket in my hand. Silly me.I go outside to chat up S who was enjoying the kids. Cousin Bob comes out of the house on a skateboard wearing funky sandals. He passes the skateboard to me and I am cool now.