Seven Swans A-swimming

New Year’s Eve. It’s a new movie opening this weekend. I don’t think I want to subject you, my readers, to something that painful so I’m gonna fall back to one of my favorite Coen movies, The Hudsucker Proxy.

Norville Barnes, a hick from Muncie, Indiana, peers perilously over the ledge as the clock strikes twelve on New Year’s Eve. He wants to take his life because he was a failure at being the CEO of the Hudsucker Corporation, but he was just a stooge put in place by the board to drive the stock down. At the disastrously lowered price, the board members wanted purchase the stock on the cheap. Needless to say, Norville’s idiocy guides the Hudsucker Corporation to new heights especially with the introduction of the hula-hoop, Norville’s invention.

Amy Archer is a Pulitzer winning journalist who spies something funny about Norville Barnes as CEO, and she decides to investigate him. She poses as a fellow Muncian and becomes Norville’s secretary. She finds out how much of an idiot he is, but also that there is some genius to his idiocy. She falls in love, yet, she exposes his idiocy and causes his downfall. “How could you a fellow Muncian?” Queue the climb to the ledge.

The Christmas theme today is the circular notion of “what comes around goes around.” Christmas comes just once a year. It’s gone, but it will be back again next year. Live for that and it will come around again. Give and you shall receive. Or as they said in the movie karma.

The big O! “You know, for kids!”

So as you celebrate New Year’s Eve remember, you do get a second chance. It’ll come around again in a year’s time.

Mission Impossible 4: Ghost Protocol

I did like Mission Impossible 4: Ghost Protocol, but I thought it lacked emotion. It was a very rote, by the numbers Misson, but no heft in outlying why we should care about IMF. They were gonna be disavowed, but “meh,” why should I care. The previous installments in this film series forced Ethan Hunt to the brink emotionally. Whether through revenge and betrayal or love and passion, Ethan always was running fueled by his emotions for getting the job done. In this movie, it lacked the personal, emotional investment for Ethan to keep running.

That is not to say the plot was a mess, but the standard rogue agent with a nuclear bomb makes me think Lex Luthor, and Lex Luthor was a comic book villain. This could’ve been a plot for any other task force team — someone look up what John McClane is up to.

I think Paula Patton is beautiful. I think Brad Bird did a fine job on his first live action film. I hope Brad Bird doesn’t just do live action films anymore. I think Tom Cruise runs funny. Simon Pegg is overexposed. Anil Kapoor should be in more Hollywood productions bringing some Bollywood over. I thought when the twist came that Josh Hallowell would be under that mask. I wonder what the IMAX hype was all about.

3 of 5 stars.

Two Turtle Doves

If it wasn’t for Fox Movie Channel, I would be writing this entry cold. As it were, FMC is trying to compete with TBS in a “movie marathon on Christmas Day.” Whereas TBS showcases the beloved, A Christmas Story, FMC comes at you with a more recent entry into the Holiday movie canon, Home Alone.

Yup. That’s today’s treat. Home Alone. The movie that gave us Macaulay Culkin. The movie that reminded us that John Hughes was still alive. The movie that gave us Chris Columbus.

Okay. Since it was a while that I had seen Home Alone, let’s recap. Kevin McCallister gets into a spat with his family on the eve of their holiday trip to France. His mother sends him to his bed, but not before he wishes that he had no family. In the morning in a rush, the rest of the family runs to the airport for their trip leaving Kevin behind. He wakes up finds himself home alone, rejoices, and proceeds to do the things he always wanted to do. Eventually, the Water Bandits come a calling, and Kevin must defend his home from these thieves. Meanwhile, his mom realizing the error is trying to make her way back. Hitching a ride with Gus Polinksi she makes it home in time to find that Kevin has reformed his ways and misses his family.

Today’s Christmas them: home. The place you live. The place where your family is. A place where you gather together and celebrate Christmas. But it doesn’t have to be the old family home. Home could be the place where your friends or with your buddies. Home is where you find yourself surrounded with love. It’s here. It’s there. It’s down the street. It’s physical. It’s metal. It’s the atmosphere of the place. Home is where you are.

I like that FMC has decided that Home Alone is the holiday movie that it wants to make a holiday classic. I doubt that they could make it as such, but they’ll keep trying. I will keep up with it because damn if it ain’t stupid when Jennifer Connelly miscounts children, or when Catherine O’Hara tries to haggle for an airplane seat, or when John Candy (!) shows up as the Polka King of the Midwest. It’s a stupid movie, but there are just as many stupid other holiday films.

A Partridge In A Pear Tree

So I had this brilliantly stupid idea which I cribbed from the AV Club. I will blog about some movie or television show that can relate to Yule time, and I will post an entry once each day for the Twelve Days of Christmas. I was hoping you would join me, if not writing a post, reading my posts and celebrating Christmas time with me.

I shall start with It’s A Wonderful Life, the beloved Frank Capra classic. It’s corny, but I love it. It’s one of my all time favorite movies not just at Christmas time. So bear with me as I lavish once more praises on this most clichéd of films.

The story if you’ve never seen it: George Bailey is on the verge of suicide on Christmas Eve, because he’s worth more dead than alive. His family and the town of Bedford Falls prays for him that night, and their prayers are answered in the form of Clarence, ASC. He shows George that life was worth living because he was beloved and cherished by all the people who came to know him. “Remember, George: no man is a failure who has friends.”

That’s the Christmas theme: camaraderie and friendship. No matter how sad you believe your life to be, the fact that you have friends makes all the difference in the world. It becomes apparent at Christmastime. As you visit with friends and family, you see as much. What a joy it is to be with everyone! You realize life is good because of all the people you know. Christmastime brings us together.

Anywhoo, this is my start of the twelve days of Christmas Blogathon. It’ an inauspicious start hopefully it gets better. Your turn.

Young Adult

I find my reaction to Young Adult similar to how I felt about Bad Teacher, but without the extreme revulsion. I was puzzled by the main character. I couldn’t like her. She was a nasty person, yet I still don’t know if I liked the movie or not.

Young Adult stars Charlize Theron at her most ugliest. Her character was described as a “psycho, prom queen bitch,” which is an appropriate appellation for her. It succinctly describes her personality. She’s believes her life to be stuck in neutral — divorced, work life as an author coming to a sad end. She needs to live, and she chooses to try and relive her past by going back home to small town Minnesota and steal her old boyfriend back. He has a new baby, but that doesn’t stop her. While in town, she bumps into an old classmate played by Patton Oswalt, who was horribly scarred in a bad beating during high school. They make a pair as she finds a person who is as damaged as she is. Eventually, the week at home unravels in a big embarrassing scene. She confronts her ex, and he pities her. She runs to her friend for comfort and finds that she should embrace her bitchiness.

I’m not sure if I should be happy or not that she goes back to being big city girl. She broke the grip of nostalgia, but embraced being bad. She is a psycho prom queen bitch.

Theron makes for the perfect psycho, prom queen, bitch. She can do haughty, that look in her eyes and her ice queen beauty, equates to crazy. Oswalt is his usual alternative, hipster, cool guy, geek guy self. Patrick Wilson as the former boyfriend makes due as a slightly clueless, hickish dude, who loves his wife, but doesn’t know what he got himself into with his former flame.

The film was a Jason Reitman film from a Cody Diablo script. I couldn’t tell. It missed the glib hiptserism of their previous collaboration, Juno.

I can’t say I liked the movie, but I can say I didn’t hate it.

3 of 5 stars

Hugo

As I came home from watching Hugo, I had come up with a nice way of getting into the review. But now, in the light of day, I can’t remember the hook. That’s unfortunate as I think it was gonna be a good intro that would’ve made me set up this review well and forced me to write with a better, even tone.

Hugo is about a young orphan living in one of the train stations of Paris, spending the day dodging Jean Girard, and winding the multitude of clocks of the station. He’s the son of a tinkerer who had found a windup doll in the museum which he planned to fix before his death. Hugo takes it upon himself to finish his father’s work by attempting to fix the mechanical doll. The tasks leads him to steal gears and springs from the toy shop in the station the proprietor of which carries the biggest surprise of the movie.

For the early part of the film, I was slightly bored. Hugo’s story was slow in unravelling and slightly uninteresting. It was another story about poor orphan looking for a sign his father loved him. Why am I watching this?

Hugo does finish the mechanical doll. He winds it up and lets it write the message he thought his father had left him, but instead of the trite fatherly pablum, the mechanical doll draws something whimsical, a scene by George Melies signed by Melies. This changes the movie to being about something more magical, movies.

And here’s where I remember what I was gonna write for the intro. In my former life, I had studied film and with it an introduction to then history of film. We got to see Melies, Lloyd, and Buster Keaton. Their films are as important to the history of film as they were integral to this movie especially Melies. His Voyage to the Moon is amazing and that said it made Hugo slightly worth it.

Melies makes this film for me. As he tells his tale of his life, the movie broadens up to being a tribute to a master storyteller. The tale of Hugo is the tale of finding something to fix. Hugo didn’t have to fix the mechanical doll. He had to fix history so that it remembers Melies. He had to fix Melies so that he remembers the magic. Movies are magic.

3 of 5 stars

Notes on the film: I miss the sound of the projector. Ben Kingsley in a good movie? Who would’ve thought?! Sacha Baron Cohen throwing out another one of his insane characters. I thought he should’ve been Inspector Clouseau. I was reminded of Neil Gaiman’s The Graveyard Book. For French people, they speak with a British accent.

Link of the Day [11.30.11]

As the nights start getting colder (the days stay very warm) and the dark settles in earlier, the winter Oscar season heats up. I haven't watched to many of the contenders: I still haven't seen The Tree of Life. Yet, I been following the Oscar race on Grantland. Grantland is a website writing about sports, but they also have other writers writing about pop culture. I've been reading the Oscarmetrics column with devotion trying to figure out what to watch and to handicap for the Oscar Pool.It also helps me to figure out what to watch. Let's checkout what's playing at the Charles.http://www.grantland.com/search/_/query/mark-harris

J. Edgar

As I watched J. Edgar, I wondered what hack directed this film. The tone seemed all wrong — it felt campy. Leonardo was bombastic. The makeup looked horrendous. What hack would do this on a biopic?

Clint Eastwood. Wow. I couldn’t believe it.

It’s another strange effort by Eastwood.

He makes the old people look like Charles Foster Kane. He let Leonardo chew some scenery.

2 of 5 stars.

In Time

In the middle of watching the morning showing of In Time at the local cinerama, the bulb on the projector went out. We sat and waited for them to replace the bulb. It took 15 minutes. That and the two hours of the movie I won’t get back. It brings me closer to death.

The story is about a future world wherein you don’t age after you are 25, but you only have 1 year of life left. You gain more time by working. There are the rich in time who have years and decades and there are the 99% who live day to day, hour to hour, and minute to minute. Justin Timberlake lives moment to moment. His mom is the hot Olivia Wilde. Because of her, he becomes the Time Robin Hood. He gives time from the rich to the poor. Amanda Seyfried was a bored rich girl who fell in with Justin. They become Bonnie and Clyde of the Seconds. They’ll give you the time of day.

Does that sound exciting? It does to a bit, but after a while it got boring. The idea of the time clock was intriguing the time heists not so much. They should’ve stuck with the time idea. What do you do to gain another second of life? The difference between time poor and time rich? Explore these ideas. Don’t fall back into the cliché of good bad. It feels fake.

I wish I could get back that 2 hours and 15 minutes.

2 of 5 stars.