Tag: movies

Walking into Bridesmaids I believed that it was going to be a female Hangover. The movie poster and the television advertising led me to believe that. It wasn’t. It was more along the lines of a female Knocked Up except without the vagina. What I’m saying is that it was more subtle than any bromance. It had the introspection of the lead looking trying to find a path forward. It was, as old movies of this genre would be called, a women’s film.

There was some raunch. There was no Vegas.

They let the women be non-glamorous except for Rose Byrne. Remember when Rose Byrne was the frumpy one? Yeah, she’s come a long way and I am happy to see her get a big, important supporting role in a high profile summer movie. Yes, I know that she was in one years back, but I’m glad to see her get glammed up.

You know who produced this movie? Judd Apatow. And you can tell because they weren’t afraid to take a comedy that could’ve been about 90 minutes into the 120 minute zone. Yup, it was long and you can tell that it. At least it wasn’t 150 minutes because I can imagine them taking it to that time limit. This is where the movie sligthly failed.

The funny didn’t really happen much after the 1:00 mark. The raunch from the early part disappears and it becomes slightly serious. Who knew? The film makers, but not the marketers. They must want a hti really bad to fake out the moviegoers.

3 of 5 stars.

Mom wanted to watch a movie for Mother’s Day so instead of Thor we went and caught the other movie opening that weekend, Something Borrowed. What we all do for our mothers is not enough. I can only say I experienced 0.01% of the pain of childbirth watching this movie. It was painful and I can’t imagine the rest.

First, I can’t get over Kate Hudson as a 30 year old. Isn’t she older than me? And if she isn’t I’m scared.

Next, I hope the book is better with better written characters that are not cliche: the hard charger, the walkover, the long suffering guy pal. I’m hoping that their relationships are fleshed out better. Why stick with that girl? Why did they never hook up? How can those two not be friends?

Third, express not repress your feelings. Say you like the guy. Tell your best friend that you like the guy. Convince yourself that you deserve him. He’s only looking at you with sparkly eyes as well. Jeez, get a clue.

Finally, if you’re best friends, I want to know why you can’t talk to each other?

Jeez, chick-flicks, they get a bad rap, but then a movie like them their deserved reputation.

2 of 5 stars

Caught the noon showing of Thor in a relatively packed house. It is rare to misjudge people’s enthusiasm for a movie. I thought no one was going to watch so I went a couple of minutes before the start. I rolled into the parking lot and found a lot of cars; these must be for the earlier show. They were also for my own show. I had to sit up front.

This is the best Natalie Portman movie so far this year. The god of thunder became the god of love under her gaze.

The story is about redemption and humility. In order to gain the throne, Thor must show that he is deserving. He may rule at war, but is he wise in the ways of ruling? Is he deserving of the throne? Only if he’s cast out of Asgard into the mortal world of Midgard can he find his way back.

I sort of dug this version of Thor. It is filled with really good actors for an comic book movie. Stellan Skarsgard, Sir Anthony Hopkins, Renee Russo, and Natalie Portman all bring a weight to this movie that revolves around kingly dealings. A lot better cast that can handle the comic-ness of this all.

3 of 5 stars.

Tonight’s Orioles game was postponed so I ended up at the movies to catch Water For Elephants with Mom. I don’t know which I was dreading more those Damn Yankees drubbing our Orioles or a Robert Pattinson movie. I hate those Damn Yankees, but I think I would prefer that than this movie.

Robert Pattinson is Jacob. Go Team Jacob! He’s a Polish veterinary student who ends up in the small time circus. At first, he’s just a carnie, but later is hired on to look after the animals especially the eponymous elephant who will bring fame and fortune to the circus owner/ringleader. Of course, he falls for the owner’s wife. Cristoph Waltz is the ringleader and he’s still a Nazi; this time manic depressive. It is a classic love triangle story. I’m giving you a cursory summation of the plot, but you can guess how it all ends.

Pattinson’s Jacob was barely out of college. Living in upstate New York, he is naive to the ways of the circus. They’re freaks, clowns, grifters and movers who know the world better than him. Pattinson’s Jacob just wanders the circus wide eyed. Even after joining the family circus, he’s still naive. I couldn’t believe Reese Witherspoon’s Marlena would fall for him. I just couldn’t believe Pattinson’s acting. He witnesses Waltz’s iron fist control of the circus, and he gaily strolls into the love triangle believing he was the better man. It made me shake my head, roll my eyes, and sigh wishing he would get a clue. Is that how the book went? I bet it read better.

I wanted to get out of the theatre in order to read the book.

2 of 5 stars

Did I watch Your Highness or was I high and imagined it all?

I really did. Those days are behind me.

It’s not as bad as the reviews have made it out to be. It’s a spoof on sword and sorcery films from the 80s. James Franco was hilarious. The robot bird was funny too. Danny McBride is always good for a few chuckles. Rasmus Hardiker, the McBride’s squire, was funny as well perhaps the funniest of them all. Natalie Portman in another film was saddled with silliness, but it’s good that she talks non-serious roles. Wasn’t she the Oscar winner for Best Actress? Hunh?

Anyway, it’s not so bad. Get high and I bet it would be funnier. At least the lecherous puppet wizard was strange and funny.

3 of 5 stars.