I Love You, Beth Cooper

broderic on July 16, 2009

I Love You, Beth Cooper begins with an inopportune love declaration. Dennis, the Coove, Cooverman, class valedictorian declares his love for the one, Beth Cooper. During his commencement speech. *Gasp* It takes nerves to declare love like that, and to believe that it would work, it is a fantasy. A fantasy, that the love of your life would respond to something that bold. A fantasy, because you’ve never been face-to-face. A fantasy, because you only know the back of her pretty blonde head. A fantasy will always conjures up dreams.

I’m just beginning to read the book, and so far, the movie script has matched the book. And so far, book and movie aren’t all that funny. I thought it (the book) was supposed to be hilarious. Written by a former Simpsons writer, Larry Doyle, it should be perfect, but he didn’t write any episodes during The Simpsons golden age, seasons 1-8, so he may not have been too funny. That’s why the gags in the book and the movie don’t seem to be working very well.

I expected another “Can’t Hardly Wait,” but got Joysticks. It was my own fantasy that this would be a decent movie. But I think I would rather spend my time behind the pretty blonde in class and leave those fantasies to my own mind.

2 of 5 stars.

The Proposal

broderic on July 7, 2009

The Proposal stars Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock in a romantic comedy neither romantic or comedic. He’s assistant to her hard charging NYC book editor. She’s a ballbuster. He’s doing it for the chance to break into the literary world. She’s doing it because she has no family. They need to marry, so that she isn’t deported. Ha. Ha. Ha.

That’s a tired cliche of a gag if I ever saw one.

And the movie is tired. I didn’t really laugh. The romance was a given and hard to believe. Ryan Reynolds is not given enough to do as a “Ryan Reynolds” roll. No smart mouthing or glib commenting. Just stand there and let Sandra Bullock be the movie’s driving force. She couldn’t be, or at least I couldn’t accept her as it. Come on, it’s Ryan Reynolds you want to see not Sandra Bullock. And I’m a guy. I wonder what the girls who’ve seen it think.

I’m all for tsundere goodness, but Sandra Bullock could not capture it. She’s mean, but you couldn’t have told me she had a caring side. Only the writers could do that, and they shoe horned it in to fit the happy ending.

Blech.

2 of 5 stars.

The Hangover

broderic on June 29, 2009

The Hangover is rather dark for a summer movie. It’s no light-hearted romp through a bunch of friends bachelor weekend in Vegas, but a delving in the disturbance in men’s souls as they are freed from the nagging and the loving of women. It was almost too dark to enjoy on a lazy Sunday, but with some easy jokes, it doesn’t bum your day out.

3 of 5 stars.

5 More

broderic on June 25, 2009

The Academy has gone to 10 Best Picture nominees instead of the usual 5. Isn’t 10 too much to choose from? And will it have even more suckier films to choose?

The Academy should just take a page from the Globes and have different categories for Best Picture. Best Picture for Drama. Best Picture for Comedy. Best Picture for Impenetrable Foreign Film. Best Picture for Will Ferrell Comedies. Best Picture for Lame Action Movies. Best Picture for Non-lame Action Movies. Such and such.

This will make creating the spreadsheet for BrowserMetrics Annual Oscar Pool a little bit more inconvenient.

Is 10 too much? I think 7 would’ve been ideal.

Up

broderic on June 10, 2009

Up continues Pixar’s strange movie tales. After Cars and the chastisement they got for writing a most conventional, kid-friendly animated film, the boys (emphasis on the male) at the studio decided to create strange stories. First came Ratatouille then Wall E, stories that on the surface seem to be childish, but are pretty sophisticated. It’s this sophistication that makes them a darling of critics everywhere. Yet, I can’t but help wonder if they’re too cool for their own good. That’s what becomes of a contrarian.

The movie opens with a news reel describing the adventures of Charles Lindburgh, er some explorer dude. It’s 2D, not the 3D I saw it in. Weird. Then they introduce the main character as a young boy. Fascinated with the explorer, he grows into wanting to follow him to the ends of the earth.

He meets a girl who’s equally fascinated.

They fall in love.

And that was the movie I wanted to see. I think reading too much shoujo manga and watching shonen anime romantic comedies I wanted to watch another love story. One that blooms rather than one that is memories. I loved the growing old together vignette. It moved me and I thought that was a more fascinating subject for an animated tale. More daring. In fact, it would’ve been more because the woman he falls in love with is really interesting. I almost thought she was tsundere, but she’s more dere-dere and almost no tsun-tsun. I would’ve like to have gotten to know her and of their story.

But the movie followed the adventures of the old man as he explored the world outside his house for the first time. Needless to say, he does find adventure, and his hero who’s now a villain, and he becomes a stand in father for his sidekick. Adventure that is pretty standard for all animated summer films in the US. For all the sophistication, Pixar can’t help but follow rote US standards in story telling.

The movie is fine. I just am wishing for more. John Lasseter loves Miyazaki. Can he get his studio to do something as awesome and daring as Miyazaki?

3 of 5 stars.

Drag Me To Hell

broderic on June 2, 2009

I went to see Drag Me To Hell Saturday night by myself, because all my
friends were previously engaged. As it was, I sat in a half-filled
theatre next to an african-american lady laughing at all the frights
being displayed on screen. Laughing? Yes, because Drag Me To Hell was written and directed by Sam
Raimi, who, before he made Spiderman, was renowned as a schlock-horror
meastro with his Evil Dead series. Drag Me To Hell is a return to form.
Now my laughter was the type of laughing I do when faced of some
frights. I cringed at the scares — the evil face showing up, the cat
jumping into frame, etc. I averted my eyes from watching the gore. I
blurred my vision to avoid the shocking. So I laughed afterwards to
relieve my stress. The african-american lady knew it and told me that
afterwards. She was laughing at me while I was chuckling about it
because that's the way I roll on scary movies.But still the horror is outrageous in Drag Me To Hell. What Sam Raimi
flick isn't without it's bursting eyeballs? Or it's slime? Not this
one. If you like the Evil Dead movies, you'll definitely appreciate
this one.Seeing it amidst a lively Saturday night crowd was all the more
enjoyable, but I wish I wasn't cringing so much from the frights. The
only reason I watched it was it being a Sam Raimi flick and his scares
are more hilarious than scary. If it was an actual horror flick, I
doubt I would've gone and watched. I did, and I got home not the least
bit scared. Of course I didn't go upstairs.Things of note. The cute cat gets its due and that is funny. The sound
design harkens back to Raimi's Evil Dead of creaks and groans and
rattling chains. Story ending was very predictable — that return to
sender ain't going to work out exactly as planned. Grave digging in the
rain equals Poltergeist. The funniest bit was when our heroine was
deciding on who to pawn off her troubles. The african-american lady
next to me said, "That's cold." I was laughing my ass off. "Oh, no she
doesn't!" 4 of 5 stars.http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1127180/

Terminator Salvation

broderic on May 29, 2009

Terminator Salvation. Even the title doesn't make sense.There are at least several movies residing in the latest Terminator
flick. There's the story of the new cyborg, Markus. Is he a terminator
or man's salvior? There's the story of John Connor. How does he become
the great leader he is made out to be in the previous movies? There's
the story of Kyle Reese. How did he become the cool, crafty veteran
that made John Connor send him back to the first movie? Then there's
the story of humanity after judgement day. How did we survive and what
are we doing to win? These would be interesting stories in and of
themselves. They would make perfectly good movies. But mash them into
one film and you have a mess.Terminator Salvation wants to tell it all, and in so doing, tells us
nothing. It's very disjointed. First, we meet Markus, a condemned
prisoner, before judgement day. Then we're off to John Connor who
wasn't even the leader of the resistance. He finds something or other
and blah, blah, blah, we're needing to go follow this yadda-yadda-yadda.
(I still don't know what that was all about!). Next comes Kyle Reese
and his meet up with cyborg Markus. He's just a kid! Finally, we get
explosions in a factory harkening back to all the previous Terminator
movies — melt then freeze then crush. In the end, it's all about
heart.Wait for this movie on sci fi network.1 of 5 stars.http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0438488/

Star Trek

broderic on May 13, 2009

I’ll go ahead and say it, “Star Trek was fun.”

There were space battles. And worm holes. And Vulcans. And Romulans. Big space ships from the future and the Starship Enterprise. There was sexy Uhura and ninja-tastic Sulu. Scotty, his pal, and their tribble show up. Bones McCoy came as the curmudgeon of the group while a young Checkov exhibited the youthful exuberance of a young Checkov. And Winona Rider.

But Star Trek is Kirk and Spock. They take center stage in this movie as it explores how these ambitious and talented Starfleet officers became rivals and then friends. Yes, at first, they are rivals in the way they command a ship to the woman they bed. Kirk, all cocky and brash, makes a joke of the Kobyashi Maru excercise which Spocked programmed. He beat it, but misses the finer the point of the lesson. Kirk, all cocky and brash, thinks that he can woo Uhura, then he finds out she’s got a thing for Spock. D’oh! Both of theses officers may be the best that Starfleet has produced, but neither one will budge on who should be the leader.

In the end it that leader is Spock, but not of this movie, our Spock whom imdb lists as Spock Prime. (Like Earth Prime of the DC universe). Spock is that leader. As the universal ambassador in our universe, he tried to save the Romulus only to have sparked a time conundrum which kicks off our movie. So, the acts in this film are not done in the same universe as what we’ve watched in the last forty years. It is an alternative which may spark some interesting stories.

What makes this film fun is the introduction of old friends. It may not be the way true diehard Star Trek Trekkies know how each character came to be, but for us simple Trekkers it’s okay as we meet our good friends at a much younger and adventurous time. This film doesn’t foolishly retcon new backstories to the characters, but re-imagines their lives in this alternative univers. It’s like they are given a different face, but remain the same person as they always were.

This new Star Trek is pretty geeky, but accessible. I think I want to see it again in the theatre.

5 of 5 stars.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

broderic on May 2, 2009

Wolverine is a terrible movie. The plot changes left and right. Was it an homage to Watchmen? “Someone’s murdering our old team.” Or did they just make it random. He was helping then he was the enemy then he’s part of the plot. Or he was my friend, then my brother, then my enemy and now my friend again.

The opening was another homage to Watchmen.

Why was Sabretooth jealous of Wolverine? I don’t know. They never show Wolverine doing anything awesome. In fact I thought Sabretooth was the bad ass.

Hugh Jackman was always miscast as Wolverine. Too friendly and not menacing enough. “I’m the best at what I do, and what I do ain’t pretty.” Sure. Sure. Pretty boy. I haven’t seen you do anything kick ass.

I always thought to know the origin of Wolverine was the suck. This movie shows how stupid it was.

I want to see Professor Xavier/Magneto movie.

2 of 5 stars.

State of Play

broderic on April 28, 2009

State of Play. I saw this a couple of weeks ago, so I don’t remember too much. I thought it was good as I left the theatre, but since I don’t remember too much, it might not have been. I remember waiting for the twist. It was there. It wasn’t too unexpected, and it wasn’t so hard to guess. I thought the twist would be different though.

Anywhoo, the movie is a remake of some British mini-series. They say the television show was better. I say who cares. I never saw it, so this was much better.

3 of 5