Ballots are being prepared

It’s coming soon, Second Annual BrowserMetrics Oscar Pool. Mark your calendars because soon the ballots will be in your hand and it’s up to you to figure out who deserves this years Oscars. This year there will be three prizes to entice you into joining. No purchase necessary to play. Just fill out your ballot which will be coming soon.

I’ll leave it to last year’s winner, riss, with the last word on why you should enter, “The best thing that happened to me all year!”

Paul Blart: Mall Cop

Marge texted me yesterday if I wanted to go catch Paul Blart: Mall Cop, since I told her that I had wanted to watch it to see what all the fuss was about (tops B.O. 2 weeks in a row?!).

I’m sorry. It was the worst film I’ve seen in years. I really wanted to leave, but Marge kept me there. ;P

I need to post this review for posterity: “Shit sandwich.”

1 of 5 stars. (1 star is the floor. I don’t posts zeroes.)

The Wrestler

Selfish acts of self deception happen throughout The Wrestler. They are performed by Mickey Rourke in another come back role as the eponymous wrestler. These acts affect the woman he likes a lot and the daughter he doesn’t know. Rourke after a near death experience tries to fade away into a ignominious retirement reconciling with his daughter and falling into the arms of an old stripper, but it’s not him.

He can’t be what is not him. A lover? A father? An employee? Not at all, for the siren song of the square ring calls. He wants to be good, because he’s so lonely. Life outside the glorious and somewhat non-glamorous wrestling circuit beats him down. He was never meant to be anything but “The Ram” head-butting his way through his opponents. The ring makes him happy and any attempt to distance himself from it is just as fatal as returning to it. Lead a sad existence behind the deli counter or bask in adulation on the top turnbuckle? He must choose.

I liked this movie a lot for the wrestling. It reminded me of the days of the NWA and WWF when the wrestling federations were more regional and the stars battled with the nobodies. In the end, everyone is a nobody.

Rourke is good, but Marisa Tomei is fearless. She struts her stuff in a way that I don’t think any actress has done in a long while. It helps that she has a kickin’ body. These two ground a decent story and they’re diverging paths make it a little sad. Love may conquer all, but a “ram jam” always wins out.
4 of 5 stars.

Defiance

Defiance is about a group of Russian jews that hid out in the forest during WWII defying Hitler’s extermination scheme.

I don’t have too much to say on this movie.

Watch it because it tells some sort of historical tale of heroes doing things to make it through terrible times. Don’t watch it because it is non-descript and will leave your memory once you leave the theatre.

3 of 5 stars.

Gran Torino

I must apologize as to how late this post on Gran Torino has been. It’s not like I didn’t know what to say, and it’s not like I forgot. I’ve just not gotten around to writing up my thoughts on this film. Yet, I’ve seen another movie since then, and my queue of movie reviews must be serviced, so here comes the Gran Torino review as seen from a few weeks back.

Clint Eastwood takes his Dirty Harry character to its end: living in the run down neighborhood surrounded by dirty foreigners. He just hates everyone. How do you know? He says it constantly. “Get off my lawn!” His catchphrase in this movie. It’s just like Grandpa Simpson.

Eastwood finally learns to like some of the dirty foreigners when he helps the Hmong family avoid a bunch of Hmong roughnecks. He watches out for the kid and the sister before he helps them finally be free of their problem.

They couldn’t act. Neither could Eastwood. It wasn’t a great movie. It was serviceable. I don’t ever want to see it again though.

2 of 5 stars.

Valkyrie

I liked Valkyrie better than I thought I would. It was suspenseful for a story that you knew the ending of. Do they successfully kill Hitler? Nope. Yet, I was still wondering when the gestapo would kill them all.

Good flick. Makes me want to find out about the actual plot, and its reality. How well does Singer stick to the script of the truth and how much was made up? Did Tom Cruise’s character really act that way?

Better than I thought.

3 of 5 stars.

The Spirit

The Spirit is a boring movie, because it does most of the storytelling via dialogue. That’s amazing considering the stylistics that Frank Miller, the director, infused on the screen. He’s trying to recapture his Sin City with a dash of 300. Of course The Spirit isn’t his comic, but the eponymous Eisner award nominee, Will Eisnter. Did Miller do well in doing the story in his style? No.

It is a fascinating movie in the worst way. How did they blow this one?

First, I could care less about The Spirit. The 30s isn’t a time that is intriguing at the moment especially in these dull economic times, but a superhero ain’t even better. Second, once again with the stilted dialogue. I read it on the page, it sounds much better in my head, and it’s not as lame as it is being said on screen. Third, who the hell is The Spirit? Gabriel Macht? I don’t even know how to spell his name. For all I know he could be the dude who played the rocketeer. Finally, too much CG green screen. Sadly, it don’t look cool anymore.

One thing about the movie though, it’s got an all star cast (the spirit aside). ScarJo, bad mofo, that latin girl, all couldn’t spark anything with their star power. ScarJo in glasses though and as a Nazi.

Don’t watch this ever.

2 of 5 stars.

Doubt

I’m not really sure how to react to Doubt. Should I think that Meryl Streep’s Sister Aloysious is infallible or inflexible? Is Philip Seymour Hoffman’s Father Flynn guilty or innocent? Is Amy Adam’s Sister James ridiculously cute or hilariously naive? What was the point of all that?

I watched the movie and wondered is there a moral to this tale? Beyond the standard fare of pedophilia in the Catholic church, what was the intent of the movie? Sure Sister Aloysious could’ve been less of a stick in the mud, but is Father Flynn really guilty? It described the changes going on in the national character, and that in the face of it, you stick to your morals if you can stomach it. The story took place in the 60s, after the death of Kennedy, as civil rights took to the fore. It makes for a compelling milieu, if only I could care about it.

Sister Aloysious reminds me of the sisters at my Catholic grade school: stern and frightening in their anger. She made me laugh recognizing her character from my past.

3 of 5 stars