“Yo, man, Spidey is a byotch! Batman wouldn’t’ve cried!”

broderic on May 6, 2007

Spiderman 3 is no Spiderman 2. It took the momentum built from the last movie, “Go get ’em tiger,” and threw some grit and Sandman into the gears grinding the franchise to a halt.

The biggest problem was Sandman. I was at the comic shop this weekend where they had lots of old time Spidey comics on the wall. Issue 2 was Doc Ock. Issue 1 must’ve been the Green Goblin. Issue 3 was, guess who? The Vulture, but issue 4 was Sandman. So they producers felt they had to stick with the schedule of villains established by the comic book. But Venom is a fanboy favorite, and was added to the trilogy to appease them. So it feels like they started with the Sandman as the prime villain, found out his story was weak, and added Venom. It results in an uneven story.

We first get Sandman. But did I mention Green Goblin Jr? He’s in it and his story line takes the most unconvincing turn of all. Back to Sandman, he’s a two-bit crook on the lam to see his daughter. That’s it, and by the way, he also killed your Uncle Ben. Hunh? Did he really kill him or did they make that up for the movie? Fanboys, help. They needed that in order for Spidey to work himself up for a showdown. Sandman then gets defeated at the two hour mark about which I wanted thought the ending should’ve occurred. He shows up in the last reel though to team up with Venom and kick some Spidey ass. Lame.

Venom was also problematic. They had to explain the entire emotional change in Peter Parker without losing time for Sandman bits. Peter becomes emo boy without the eyeliner. So after Sandman disappears, Venom takes over, but it was plainly a compression of a longer story arc from the comic book and the measly half hour it got didn’t do it justice.

Raimi I respect for making the first two very fine comicbook movies. He had a lot here to handle. Bottom line they should’ve had one villain. I think with the third installment they should’ve gone for the tried and true final act by redoing the first movie (see Indy and Star Wars for hints).

Caught this in the last showing on opening Friday. The audience was looking for a better time. I think plenty of people were disappointed judging from the number of people leaving before the first fake out ending occurred. It didn’t stop them from running to the doors after the second fake out ending, also.

3 of 5 stars

Adventures From My Netflix Queue:Lady of Burlesque

broderic on May 3, 2007

The movies that I really wanted to see over Memories of Murder starred Barbara Stanwyck. The latest one is Lady of Burlesque.

From the sound of the title it would’ve had to take place when burlesque was big. Early on in the thirties. Yet, as Miss Stanwyck makes her appearance, I expected the pretty, young thing, but it was the mature Miss Stanwyck. I found out that this movie was made in 1943! A few years from Lady Eve and just before Double Indemnity. So this is how some of her non-classic films were like. It’s a B movie! Yet, guess again. It was nominated for an Oscar in the song category “Take it off the E String. Play it on the G-string” which Miss Stanwyck sang. WooHoo!

The plot centers around the backstage shennanigans of a burlesque grind house, and then the ladies get involved in a murder straight out of a Scooby Doo mystery. “I would’ve gotten away with it, except for these meddling ladies of burlesque.” The murder mystery was pretty thin. As was the plot.

The funniest part of watching it was that I was expecting a pre-code movie. Of course, being made in 1943, it adhered to the code of ethics of the day. Just imagine how much “burlesque” they could show. Nothing. Zip. Zilch. For Miss Stanwyck’s song and dance, she did some bumping and grinding. Or at least that was what was hinted at. Cut to the audience. She shakes it, but only in your imagination.

Lady of Burleque isn’t bad, but it’s only for those hardcore Stanwyck fans.

3 of 5 stars.

Picture homages

broderic on May 2, 2007

What with Grindhouse, it seems like all the movies nowadays are trying to recapture something of the stories of the yesteryear. Here’s two that tried. Which of them succeeded?

Disturbia is to Rear Window as Sweet&Low is to sugar. It’s nowhere as good as the original. And yet, it seems that people have been flocking to it making it three weeks at the top of the box office. Why? Because they are wankers, but hey, I saw it in the theatres. I don’t think I am a wanker, but I wanted to see it because of its shameless rip of one of my favorite movies.

There are few direct riffs on the original. They’ve escaped me right now, a week since watching the movie. I remember one being the sound of a scream/killing waking Shia up. The leaving from the scene of the “crime” a lady. These were the only vestiges of Hitchcock’s film that stand out. The others were subtle. Is the killer coming over with a bat similar to Raymond Burr showing up at the door? Maybe. Is the scene with the depiction of the neighborhood the same? No Ms. Lonely Hearts though. Can’t compete.

The one thing they updated was the score. Or at least the musical soundtrack with what passes for music nowadays. Why? It was an episode of the OC with that dude stuck in doors. Or that other dude on a killing spree. Sorry, about the names, but at least that is what I think it would be like.

It’s a palid version of one of the greatest movies in Hitchcock’s ouevre.

2 of 5 stars.

Hot Fuzz brought to us by the madmen who did Shaun of the Dead (which I thought was alright), and the director of the funniest fake trailer in Grindhouse, “Don’t.” Yet, this film appealed to me more. Shaun of the Dead was a mediocre attempt at a zombie movie. Zombies are tired. They should’ve been ninjas, or at least pirates.

But Hot Fuzz travels in the tried and true action genre.

Whether they are spoofing it or paying a cheeky homage is hard to tell. If they refer to Bad Boyz II as the ultimate flick, it’s got to be a spoof. Yet, they reference Michael Bay-isms throughout. HOMAGE!

Best line riffed on Jake Gittes, but not: “Forget it, Nick, it’s Sandford.” That’s won me some points those cheeky brits.

4 of 5 stars.

Netflix defeated

broderic on May 2, 2007

I’m turning out like CapitolSwell. I had Memories of Murder at my house for weeks. Supposedly, I had received it on the seventh of April. I didn’t ever watch it. I put it back in the mail on Monday, April 30th.

It sat on my nightstand for weeks. I had also bought several other DVDs over those weeks, mainly Barabara Stanwyck flicks, which I watched. Twice sometimes.

This is the first time that I didn’t watch a movie from my Netflix queue. Even some of the sucky ones which almost put me to sleep, I slogged my way through. I never let a movie get me down. Perhaps if The Host wasn’t so disappointing I would have watched it quicker.

Anyhow, OneLittleSeedling has ripped it twice. So I’ll just borrow it from him. If I get the urge to watch it.

The Stanwyck Proxy

broderic on April 29, 2007

In 1941, Barabara Stanwyck played a part in four movies, Meet John Doe, The Lady Eve, Ball of Fire, and You Belong to Me. I’ve seen two of the four. In fact, The Lady Eve lead me to believe that she was the most exciting actress EVER to have graced the silver screen. They’re pretty good movies, and each one has earned praise and reknown from critics and fans alike. I wonder what the other two of her films were like. Ball of Fire is being released next month on DVD, so I am eagerly waiting its appearance.

You don’t believe me that she’s one of the most exciting actresses EVER?

Check out Anthony Lane’s Stanwyck appreciation piece in The New Yorker.

Check out The Lady Eve. She has Henry Fonda tripping over herself. It’s a movie on AFI’s list of 100 comedies and 100 passionate movies. You’ll mainly laugh at her hijinxs.

Check out Meet John Doe. She fast-talks the editor of the newspaper into pulling off the hoax of the year. And this is where the title of this post comes in. I believe that the coen brothers were looking for a Stanwyck type when they wrote The Hudsucker Proxy. It is a direct riff on many of the films she’s appeared in. The Hudsucker Proxy seems to have gotten lots from Meet John Doe. Smitty. “That gag’s got whiskers!” I loved Hudsucker Proxy, a personal favorite coen brothers movie, but love it even more knowing that Jennifer Jason Leigh seems to have been channeling Barbara Stanwyck.

She’s just groovy.

Sugarpuss

broderic on April 22, 2007

I don’t actively search these things out, but they seem to show up by chance. If you’re in the NY area check out theBarbara Stanwyck retrospective. It’s a good sampling of her movies. It is missing though “Lady Eve.”

Playing Catch Up

broderic on April 20, 2007

I haven’t been posting regularly. As if you didn’t know. I’ve been too busy. Some of the things I had due are almost done and now I have found some time to breathe. Let me post something to know that BrowserMetrics the blog still has a pulse.

First off most of my friends in the side bar are also silent except for Margeaux. She’s been blogging up a storm compared to me and the others. Of course she has spent most of this month doing nothing but writing. Yet, she has time to read The Children of Hurin? Hmm.

Second, I did catch Grindhouse opening weekend, and from the looks of things, its closing weekend as well. 3 of 5 stars is my rating. First, Rodriguez makes bad films. Including Sin City. So when he set out to make a bad movie, it’s doubly the worst of it all. The problem with his film was that it was too much like USA Up All Night from the eighties. No one told us that the shit playing at the grindhouse is really the shit you watched on cable drunk. I paid money for this? Tarantino’s half is more of a problem. It was too serious in tone and completely clashed with the previous Rodriguez part. “I went to the grindhouse and a Tarantino movie started!” Plus it was talky. I wonder if you went to a grindhouse to watch talking. Yes, it was dark and disturbing at times, but in the sense it was Tarantino. At least his bad acting was overshadowed by the badness of the films.

Third school. At least the class I am taking now. It sucks. I have a new WindBlows laptop though. And a dead Dell box. Linux is just as lame. Computers should help you be productive not throw obstacles in your way. They just need to work sometimes.

That’s it for now. I don’t like writing much. But there it is.

Deftly Quotable

broderic on April 10, 2007

Best monologue from a screwball comedy that I have seen so far. It’s a genre of film that can get into.

Not good enough… I said they’re not good enough for him.

Every Jane in the room is giving him the thermometer and he feels they’re just a waste of time. He’s returning to his book, he’s deeply immersed in it. He sees no one except – watch his head turn when that kid goes by. Won’t do you any good, dear, he’s a bookworm, but swing ’em anyway.

Oh, now how about this one. How would you like that hanging on your Christmas tree? Oh you wouldn’t? Well, what is your weakness, brother? Holy smoke, the dropped kerchief! That hasn’t been used since Lily Langtry. You’ll have to pick it up yourself, madam. It’s a shame, but he doesn’t care for the flesh. He’ll never see it.

Look at that girl over to his left. Look over to your left, bookworm. There’s a girl pining for ya. A little further. Just a little further… There! Wasn’t that worth looking for? See those nice store teeth all beaming at you. Oh, she recognizes you! She’s up, she’s down, she can’t make up her mind. She’s up again. She recognizes you! She’s coming over to speak to you. The suspense is killing me. “Why, for heaven’s sake, aren’t you Fuzzy Oathammer I went to manual training school with in Louisville? Oh you’re not? Well, you certainly look exactly like him, it’s certainly a remarkable resemblance… But if you’re not going to ask me to sit down, I suppose you’re not going to ask me to sit down… I’m very sorry, I certainly hope I haven’t caused you any embarrassment, you so and so.”

“I wonder if my tie’s on straight. I certainly upset them, don’t I? Now who else is after me?”

Ah, the lady champion wrestler, wouldn’t she make a houseful? Oh, you don’t like her either. Well, what are you going to do about her? Oh, you just can’t stand it anymore, you’re leaving. These women don’t give you a moment’s peace, do they? Well, go ahead! Go sulk in your cabin. Go soak your head and see if I care!

Heads Exploding

broderic on April 5, 2007

If you had asked me when the action flick, Shooter, first came out to watch it, I would’ve told you that 40 horses couldn’t drag me to see that film. I’m glad I changed my mind.

I caught it this evening, and enjoyed every minute of it. It’s got more heads exploding than Scanners. Every victim died from a bullet to the head shot from a mile to mere inches. You knew everytime someone would peak their head out that it was going to explode in a gush of blood.

Nothing but heads exploding!

And I laughed from the absurdity of it all.

Does that make me psychotic?

3 of 5 stars.