Things we watch in the cinema or on tape, DVD, and streaming
Today is Friday, the 13th. It comes but maybe once a year. Head on over to the home of the movies. It’ll scare you, or at least make you laugh out loud. And I agree with Pete at APCB, Friday 13th VI was great fun.
It’s just about summer movie season. And to get a start, I caught the latest remake of The Amityville Horror. Not the movie I wanted to watch (The Upside of Anger), but was coaxed into it. In fact I was called out when I complained that it would scare me. It did, but I think it was more because of knowing that something sudden was going to happen. Anyway the movie was standard haunted house. Creepy ghost children. Bleeding walls. Voices telling the occupants to get out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What sucked about this version, they had to explain why it was haunted. You will not believe it, or you would’ve guessed it. Indian graveyard! Plus scary missionary! What?! Dumb. Don’t watch this until it is the only thing on TV.
1 of 5 stars.
The battery on my laptop is going quickly, because I just got the 20″ Apple Display, that I have to review the two movies I saw this weekend
Guess Who. And in starring in Sydney Poitier’s role as the awkward part of an inter-racial couple is Ashton Kutcher. America has just been punk’d. It was weird watching this flick. It was a marketed as a comedy, but had some tones of the original on which it was modeled after. There were some flat spots because of the need to harken back to the original. It was maddeningly a mixed bag. Funny at times, stupid serious at others. It was a train wreck in the making.
2 of 5 stars.
Sin City. Don’t believe the hype. I have read 3 of Frank Miller’s comic books from this series. They were awesome, especially when I went through my high end pulp fiction phase (think: the black lizard imprint of vantage (?)), yet placed on the big screen, the dialogue sounds awefully bad. The stories were straight revenge. I wish they done the “Dame to Kill for” story, but I think they weren’t after the femme fatale plot of many noir flicks. This was Death Wish for the comic book geek set.
3 of 5 stars.
While I went in expecting a terrible movie, I was pleasantly surprised by this comedy. It wasn’t as bad as the reviews made out to be and it wasn’t as bad as the lack of audience for it has been.
Be Cool was a meta movie. It knew that it was only a movie and played itself out as one. In fact the story line was explicitly told in the first scene. If you kept this in mind the movie was fun. I like that it was meta. It had Swingers. It had Pulp Fiction. It had weaved a wonderful story. I liked it.
3 of 5 stars.
As promised, my review of Constantine. I don’t want to dwell to long on why I did not like it. Go watch Little Nicky. Same plot. Less laughter. I wanted it to be good. The previews made it look good. It ends up that watching it was bad. I was bored. Really bored. Go watch Little Nicky. It is much more entertaining than Constantine.
2 of 5 stars.
Pete’s (of APCB) day job is to review movies. I read his take before watching the movie. It is one that I agree upon. The movie is good for the time frame that it is released, solid for a romantic comedy, and well crafted by everyone involved. Naturally, seeing it the day before Valentine’s day meant lots of couples. Seeing it as a Sunday matinee meant lots of Jewish couples. Seeing it the first weekend meant a crowded theatre. I imagine that it business will be good for Will Smith this weekend.
Romatic comedies always make me squirm. You may know this about me if you read the previous post, but I like movies to end with the boy not getting the girl. Yet all romantic comedies end with the boy and girl living happily ever after. Hitch is no different, but after watching In Good Company yesterday, Hitch is like a breath of fresh air. It made me happy and I am a sucker for movies that make me feel good. (Man I must like a lot of different films!)
As a movie, Hitch follows the normal conventions as other romantic comedies. Boy and girl meet cute. Boy established a rapport with the girl. That rapport is messed up usually by a Three’s Company like misunderstanding. Boy tries to re-establish the rapport, but is rebuffed. Then the third reel unrolls and the boy wins the girl back in the end. And they lived. Happily. Ever. After. Will Smith is charming in this film. Eva Mendes could’ve been hotter. I was especially attracted to the Allegra Cole girl. Anyone know who she is? Short haired blondes do it for me every time. The movie was enjoyable. It would be a wonderful date movie. Now if only I had a date doctor myself to fix me up…
3 of 5 stars.
I must admit that I love movies without a trite Hollywood ending where the hero dies or, especially, does not get the girl. Sorry if I spoiled this movie if you hadn’t seen it already, but that was what I had thought about coming out of the theatre. It must be the loner/cynic in me that gets off in seeing others lose. It is not that I find joy in the character losing the girl, but that I sympathise with the character’s loss. In a sense, I know that I too am that guy.
In Good Company isn’t really about anything I had just explained. Yes, Topher Grace does not get what’s-her-name? in the end. The star was really Dennis Quaid. He’s on a roll of sorts in the last few years after his public cuckolding by Meg Ryan. He has acted in a few notable films and garnered some respectables reviews. Good for him. Topher Grace acted very well. He epitomizes youth not truly knowing what they are doing, but just saying a lot of hip jargon to conceal their inexperience.
I am giving this movie a middle of the road rating, less for how it played and more for the contrived story. The lesson learned is one that has been told often. Your elders have wisdom beyond your years. I could’ve gotten that from reading a blog. So, the movie was well acted, liked the somewhat somber ending, but hated the preaching.
3 of 5 stars.
I won’t bore you with the full title to this movie. It was truly a sequence of unfortunate events that lead me to watch this. Actually, it was just one, deciding that it would be a good movie to watch. How I wished it were so! Boring and forgettable. I had watched it at least 2 weeks ago, and I normally post my review immediately, but this movie I completely forgot about until I was posting the previous review. Watch it at your own peril. (Or just wait for it on TBS in a year.)
2 of 5 stars.
This was not the worst movie that I have seen this year. This was not the best movie I have seen this year. This was the most predictable movie I have seen this year.
Right from the start, as soon as your main character begins to have “flashbacks”, you know the end of the story. I sat there impatiently waiting for the story to unravel in its predictable course. I was not disappointed. The trailers showed a lot of what was to happen, but you would’ve already figured it out.
Dakota Fanning I can’t stand. She has got to be a robot or something less human. She channeled Wednesday Adams. She had me laughing aloud. I did not like her from the start, but once she went into Wednesday mode I could’nt help but think that she magically turned in a campy performance, a tour de force of unseriousness. She was the only actor in the film to acknowledge that the movie was a crock. I walked out stunned, because I think I have to change my attitude towards her. Dakota Fanning I only dispise a little bit.
2 of 5 stars.
