Link of the Day [5.01.19] 令和1
It’s a dawning of the new era in Japan. Reiwa.
Shit, I’m such a weeb.
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/2019/04/what-is-imperial-reiwa-era-of-japan-emperor/
Because Japan Apps
In order to catch Nogizaka46’s 46 hour marathon of their 4th Anniversary, I downloaded the ShowRoom app from the app store. It is very Japanese. There’s avatars of everyone watching. Then they’re throwing stars. I have no idea why. They just are. I threw all my stars and I’m all out. I wish I had more because throwing stars was fun. Then everyone is commenting in Japanese. I also commented in Japanese, but also in their weird shorthand: ‘8888’ ==> clapping, “wwwwww” ==> laughing. I hope that is correct. Anyhow, I’m still using the app to watch it because the other streaming services are either blocked in the US (YouTube), laggy on my connection (Amebafresh.tv), for premium customers (nico nico douga). I will eventually run up against ATT’s unlimited slow down, but damn it. I want my NogiTV!
Ninja Assassin
Ninja Assassin (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1186367/) is a second rate movie with second rate actors directed by a hack and is only worth your while if you really want to see ninjas. Since I was in the move for ninjas (who will be the pirates for the next decade), I saw this movie for shits and giggles and was I ever disappointed.I'm not looking for a ninja movie being Citizen Kane. I'm not even looking for it to be Die Hard. I just want it to have exciting ninja scenes and fights. Ninja Assassin gave me mediocre ninja scenes and incomprehensible fights. Ninjas scaling the walls: fine. Ninjas creeping along quietly: expected. Ninjas dealing death from the shadows: YES! More please. Ninjas in love: Hunh? I can deal with the love story. All movies are love stories in the end. Just these ninjas in love fell in love during their ninja training at the secret ninja camp under the vengeful eye of the strict, evil ninja sensei. Not what I expected.The action scenes are also not what I was expecting. I thought that we would get asian cinema action, but instead got american cinema action. Asian cinema action while chaotic is beautiful to watch because you can see what is happening. American cinema action has devolved into incomprehensible movement. It's hard to see what is going on, who is hitting whom, or what is damaging what. The action simplified into limbs being hacked off and digital blood spraying. That blood looked absolutely fake, too, kind of like those pornos with digitally enhanced ejaculation.Even if all complaints were addressed, it would've been hard to make up for the lame story. It's a tale of revenge. The Ninja Assassin must go back to his clan and kick their ass for killing what he holds dear. He makes it back to the secret hideout and with the help of Interpol and massive firepower (Why have a big bang shootout for the finale? Where's the ninja swords?). Would it spoil your fun if you know that he triumphs? Then don't worry. There are nine clans of ninja assassins so that a sequel could be written for the Ninja Assassin to take out the other clans. Ninja Assassin — bah humbug!2 of 5 stars