Pacific Rim

Pacific Rim was my most anticipated summer movie. I was so gung-ho for it since catching the teaser trailer last winter. Giant robots versus kaiju? Sign me up. I’m there.

Now it’s in theatres as we speak, but will it live up to the build up?

HELL YEAH!

Pacific Rim is about monsters from space attacking earth. In the beginning, these monster, or kaiju — from the Japanese ‘strange beast‘ — were tough to put down. Yet, earthlings fought back forming a Pan Pacific Defense Corps composed of giant robots, or jeagers — from the German ‘hunters.’ They beat back these monsters, but after awhile the monsters evolve and gain the upper hand. This forces the shutdown of the PPDC and the earthlings to build giant walls to keep the monsters at bay. In a last desperate attempt, the few remaining jaegers are thrown into the Breach to shut down the monster portal. It’s a plot out of an anime!

If you compare Pacific Rim to an anime, you’ll find it wanting. When you have 13-26 episodes (6-12 hours), you can fill it with characterization. You can make your characters, troubled high school kids who also must save the world. With a movie of 2+ hours, you’re left with shallow characterizations summed up in cliché: the father son team, the washed up pilot and the newbie. There’s no characterization, but these labels. The characters are defined by them and they live up to them.

But what you want in a movie with giant mecha and kaiju? Big, loud battles! You get them. And more. If you ever wondered what a Voltron slash would look like, it’s here. If you ever wanted to see the missiles released from giant mecha, it’s here. Pacific Rim lives up to it’s billing in the fights. That’s what we want, it’s what we get. Satisfying.

I won’t let the shallow characters ruin it. After all, for 2 hours with tons of mecha versus kaiju battles, I would rather see that than the characters. Let television and anime have it. Just give me giant robots!

4 of 5 stars.

Man Of Steel

Did Zach Snyder out Nolan Christopher Nolan with Man Of Steel? I think yes.

Man Of Steel was a dark tale, because of the Snyder pulling a page from the Christopher Nolan superhero playbook, by treating superheroes, Superman in this case, as if they never wore tights. I call it dark the movie put the superheroes in reality. Plus Zod was pretty nihilistic and lots of peopled died.

Because he followed Nolan’s pattern, Snyder didn’t come across as Snyder. Not many slow-fast-slow fights. There are still lots of fighting but Snyder’s trademark stop-motion does not appear in the film. He just let them fight. And Snyder likes to film them hand-to-hand. I always liked the train fight in Sucker Punch. In this film, Snyder made all his fights like the train fight.

And like any Nolan film, there are plot points and holes which make some aspects of the movie seem senseless. Deus ex machina comes into play just for the sake of things. At least, though, the fights were coherent.

One thing about DC movies lately, they aren’t full of tights.

4 of 5 stars.

This Is the End

How much you like This Is the End will depend on how much you like the actors ‘acting’ in the film. They play themselves so if you have any problems with Jonah Hill, Jay Baruchel, Seth Rogen, Danny McBride, or James Franco, they may change how you perceive the film. Me? I sort of like them, so the movie wasn’t bad at all. Yet, I always find that they produce halfly funny movies. So this movie was just slightly funny to me. From the crazy red band trailers and the premise, I expected to fall out of my chair. I didn’t, but I think it was because of my bias.

I wanted a “Something About Mary” laugh riot. I got a “40 Year Old Virgin” laugh melee. My expectations were too high? Perhaps. But did you see those red band trailers?

I think you shouldn’t miss this movie though you can wait for it to repeat on Comedy Central in 16 months. But in the meantime you’ll be missing some funny stuff. You’ll miss Michael Cera stealing every scene he was in. You’ll miss Emma Watson being brave. You’ll miss James Franco full of it. You’ll miss Danny McBride being the asshole you always thought he was. You’ll miss demon dicks and tons of homoerotic bro-dom going down.

If you can wait, wait, but if you can’t I think it is worth the Sunday matinee price.

3 of 5 stars.

The Internship

Google is a circus. At least that’s what I saw of it in The Internship. There’s a slide alongside the stairs. You can use it to get quickly down a level. There’s a Quidditch pitch. There’s sleep pods. It’s everything you hear about tech companies come to life. The question is how much of it is true. There seems to be a small city populating the Google headquarters as the set was always filled with extras. (I was at B&N last week and heard the instructor for the Nook class refer to Google as “The Google.”)

The movie was about two older gentlemen, Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson, who lose their job because the watch company they were salesman for closed down due to the ubiquitous use of cell phones as watches. They can not find another job; so they turn to an internship at the Google. It’s not a sure thing, but they qualify for the internship and must show that they belong.

The interview is one of the funnier bits of the movie. There just wasn’t too many.

I like when Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson get together. They’re a fun couple. When the script is good, they’re great to watch — Vaughn in particular, with that wit of his. Wilson holds his own as well. Bros be bros! Yet, this film written by Vaughn wasted them in a setting that didn’t make any sense. It was predictable as a set up — old folks teach young folks new tricks and learn the value of youth.

Rose Byrne was wasted as the love interest in the plot device thrown in for the ladies. Aasif Mandvi was too Indian, and would have a beer with you later as you know he will. Tiya Sircar, the sexy, Indian, was sexy; wish they showed the cosplay. The filipino guy was driven to death by his filipino mom. But the show stealer has to have been headphones guy. He was played by the son of Bill Pullman’s President on 1600 Penn. He’s funny as all get out.

Overall, I would wait until it shows up on TBS in the future. But only watch it 10 minutes at a time as TBS rotates the hell out of it.

3 of 5 stars.

Now You See Me

When the magic in your movie about thieving magicians isn’t so special, you have a problem. Now You See Me‘s magic wasn’t so special. That is one of many problems with the movie and its most glaring. The big reveal wasn’t so big because you were expecting something. The red herring was too much to believe they kind of threw it in just to make the big reveal bigger, but you already new it was coming.

Anyhow, the film is a good popcorn movie. You’ll enjoy it for what it is, but afterwards you’ll forget about it until you catch it on USA network in 2 years.

The magic could’ve been more interesting.

3 of 5 stars.

Star Trek Into Darkness

Star Trek Into Darkness is Joss Whedon making action adventure rather than science fiction turning the Star Trek franchise into a bombastic summer blockbuster. Now there is nothing wrong with any of the action in the film, but I would’ve just loved to see some logic.

Logic like a Vulcan. Not like a Vulcan going into a volcano. What? Why can’t they just beam the bomb down? Or why doesn’t the Enterprise just do this all from space? Hunh? Submariner? Doesn’t make any sense if it was a science fiction but it’s an action flick.

We do get a lot of action. Good clean fun.

But it’s Kahn all over again. Is this what we want from our Star Trek franchise?

3 of 5 stars.

Neutral

Loaner

Itsuki-chan’s in for repairs. Hopefully, she gets better, and hopefully, it’s not gonna cost an arm and a leg. Meanwhile, they gave me a car to tool around in. They weren’t supposed to, but I think they’re trying to buy a new one. I can’t get rid of Itsuki-chan, but this new girl is fun to drive around in.

What you see here is the Mini Cooper Coupé S in a gaudy light blue. It’s almost like the standard Mini Cooper S, but only two seats, 3/4 of the height, and more claustrophobic. It’s like a small closet. The ceiling is close to your head even cranking the seat down as far it goes. I’m 5’9″ and my head nearly touches the roof. They’ve accommodated your head with little functional alcoves on the ceiling, but I think if you’re tall, you’re gonna be ducking a lot.

The most aggravating aspect of the coupé is lack of sight lines. The rear window is small and when the spoiler extends at 51 MPH the view out back is even more obscured. The B and C pillars block the view when trying to backup. It’s small inside and hard to see out.

Yet, it still a fun little ride. Compared to Itsuki-chan, it’s feels more agile. Perhaps this is because it is more rigid being smaller and lacking the sunroof. It goes into corners just as confidently as Itsuki-chan, but without the LSD that Itsuki-chan has, it doesn’t pull as smoothly. There’s some spinning.

The coupé has about the same options as mine, maybe. The interior is black which makes the plastic look much, much better. The radio integrated into the center speedometer is better designed with both the On button and the volume button adjacent to each other rather than the way it is on mine with one down below the CD player and the other on the speedometer itself. Mini is putting better effort in making the fit of the car better. It’s come a way from my Itsuki-chan, but it feels just about worth its price.

The coupé is also a sport automatic. It’s got paddle shifters on the steering column, or you can shift on the gear selector. It’s weird because I can drive most other automatics, but in a Mini Cooper, I have to use the sport shifting.

When you drive a sport automatic, the ECU controls the shift points. I’ve put her into ‘sport’ mode during my drives hoping it would be almost manual, but the ECU kicks in and makes shifts when I don’t want it to, especially when slowing down. The ECU doesn’t help with the shifting; it hinders it when you’re used to manual.

I also miss neutral, an essential gear on a manual. In a manual, you can take the car out of gear while coasting. In this special automatic, there is no neutral to get to when needed. It’s always in gear. That’s why its tough to drive when I’m used to manual. I like to coast in neutral sometimes and it’s just not available.

I hope Itsuki-chan will be better. This dalliance is great fun, but I want her back.

Iron Man 3

Will Iron Man 3 break the curse of third installment curse in Marvel movies? Spiderman 3 was insufferable and squandered Spiderman 2’s greatness. The less said about X-Men 3 the better. Nuff said.

That question is a good rhetorical device as an introduction to my review, because obviously, this was a pretty good third installment. I think it was just as a good a comic book movie as the second Spiderman and that’s a very good compliment. The movie relies on Robert Downey, Jr. for the spark. I think he’s been integral to the Iron Man/Avengers franchise driving it forward with his personality. Or is it Tony Stark? I didn’t read Iron Man comics, but if he was more like Downey maybe I should’ve.

Iron Man 3 finds Tony Stark trying to be less of the man in the iron suit. He’s trying to live right by his girl, Pepper Potts, and by his friends. But international terrorists and evil genius industrialists keep pushing him into the iron suit. Or rather jumping in and out of several of them.

The one thing wrong with the film though is that there are too many characters especially the villains. Every minute a new bad guy showed up. And they absolutely wasted my girl, Rebecca Hall. Too many bad guys! And the ending turned into Lethal Weapon 3! When you get a bevy of Iron Men, you need to use them not focusing on witty banter between black and white buddy cops.

Summer movies man. Got to catch ’em all.

4 of 5 stars.

Pain & Gain

I’m not too sure about Michael Bay’s Pain & Gain. I enjoyed it while watching it, but soon after I felt terrible that I enjoyed it. In fact, I feel that it is a vulgar film. It asks us to try and make sense of these idiots who try a “Fargo,” kidnapping for money or to get their kidnappee’s estates. You can’t. Floridians are idiots — white Floridians especially.

Pain & Gain follows Marky Mark and his gym rat crew as they kidnap people who they try to blackmail them out of their own homes. They bumble their way through the first one successfully. Yet, they need more money, do it again, and cause all sorts of mayhem. Needless to say, they were unsuccessful. When things went wrong, they went wrong quickly and ugly.

The movie was a comedy yet it was somewhat of a thriller. You’ll laugh at the dummies and cringe at their dumb antics. Michael Bay makes you forget that it is a Michael Bay film. The only hint is that he spins the 360 shot in an important and crucial scene. It’s a Michael Bay special.

One good thing about the movie is The Rock. He’s pretty awesome and it shows. He’s very natural and easy going even when he’s doped up on cocaine. The Rock is so lovable.

You better watch this before the summer movie train’s in full speed. It will be soon gone and on digital download.

3 of 5 stars.

Oblivion

Tom Cruise once again tackles science fiction in Joseph Kosinski’s Oblivion. Kosinski is the director of the notorious Tron: Legacy. Tron: Legacy was a movie I looked forward to, but afterwards, I wanted to burn my Mac mini. It was stupendously boring and superficial. Looks pretty like Olivia Wilde, but ultimately looks were deceiving. So would Oblivion be the same?

I digress. We were supposed to be talking about Oblivion, Tom Cruise, and the director, Kosinski.

Oblivion was written by Kosinski from one of his stories that became a comic book. I can see the comic book panels now and understand the langorious pace several issues would combine to match the first hour and a half of the movie. There was lots of mood setting placing Tom Cruise into the barren, post-alien apocalypse Earth. It took a while before we get into the meat of the story. Tom Cruise must save the remnants of the post-alien apocalypse Earth from the alien invaders. Or was is it the other way around? I should’ve put spoiler alert there. Or are you now keen on one of the many twists! Spoiler Alert!

Tom Cruise was Tom Cruise. Shirtless. Looks the same as he did years ago. Wears the same Yankees cap from the other alien invasion film: The War of the Worlds. He’s the star. Show him as much as possible. And don’t forget to have him running, running, running. Letting those little legs carry him as far and as fast as they can.

The thing most fascinating about Oblivion is that the it started to make sense once the movie began unraveling its mysteries. Things that felt like coincidence where actually explained. Of course, YMMV depending on if you buy the premise of the world Kosinski built. Early on I was not buying it; but the reveals made it worth while.

Oblivion was a lot better than Tron: Legacy. It had some of the same problems though: superficial, pretty, but it definitely made up for it with the twist and turns.

3 of 5 stars.