“Boy, I love a good party. Do you love a good party, Joe?” “It’s why I went to college, sir. It’s also why I didn’t graduate.”

In honor of Orioles playing the Red Sux, here’s my thoughts and/or review of Ben Affleck’s The Town.

Here’s the plot: Heat in Boston. It absolutely follows the plot of Michael Mann’s film. Super efficient, highly competent bank robbers (Affleck, Remmer and crew) hunted by a go for broke law enforcement man (that guy with the jaw from AMC’s Mad Men). There is the girl with the baby and the girl who may or may not be dropped in thirty seconds or less. There are heists and double crosses and one last big score with all this heat on them. Yup. If you’ve seen Heat, you’ve seen this one.

Heat by the way is one of my all time favorite movies. Top 5.

The Town isn’t so bad. It’s competently directed by Affleck starring a competent Affleck. Rebecca Hall is a beauty. Pretty. I would watch the movie again to stare at that face for another 2 hours. She’s just my type.

Jeremy Remmer always makes me nervous. His nonchalant demeanor always comes across as reckless whether as a bomb squad member or as a member of Affleck’s bank robbing crew. You’re always waiting for him to do something off the wall that’ll make your palms sweat. Here he takes the last big score. “I ain’t ever going back [to prison],” he says and you know that it’s a death wish.

The last heist was cool. Taking on the Red Sox. Let’s hope the Orioles bring down the house on the Red Sox just as the cops take it to the robbers.

3 of 5 stars.

“Nice to meet you, Andrea Planbee.”

Easy A is the 2010’s Mean Girls. Emma Stone is Lindsay Lohan — same chubbiness, same red hair, same throaty voice. Let’s hope she doesn’t flush her career down the tubes with drinking and drugs. If she looses 15 lbs, it’s the first sign of impending celebrity implosion.

The movie’s plot centers around Stone’s character, Olive, as she makes herself out to be the school skank after a lie she told was warped by the grapevine. This riles up the geeks to hit her up for some of that lying action. She does and they gain some notoriety. Then the school prayer group takes it upon themselves to get her kicked out school. Then the school mascot was always in love with her. Then the school guidance counselor, the school’s coolest teacher, and a weird hairy chrisitan showed up to add another plot thread. This is just to say that there were a lot of plotlines in this movie.

The writers of the movie played a lot off of 80s teen comedies: Say Anything, Can’t Buy Me Love, The Breakfast Club. It tries to bring all those into play. So it was quite something with all these plotlines. It should’ve just settled itself as Mean Girls.

2 of 5 stars.

Scott Pilgrim vs The World

Sadly, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World came in 5th place in the box office with approximately $10 million. It was Scott Pilgrim versus The Expendables, but turned out to be no contest. Mr. Pilgrm got his but kicked by several old action movie stars. This dismal performance shouldn’t stop you from catching a very, unique movie. If you see it before it leaves your local cinema, you’ll be treated to whimsical tale of love and music and video games.

Ahh, the video game. Scott Pilgrim must fight his way through the seven exes of Romona Flowers before he wins her heart. Just like a video game each is a battle. But these aren’t the video games of today with their super awesome graphics, 64 fps, first person shooter, it’s your Sega Genesis side scroller Double Dragon, Virtua Fighter. Low res man.

But at heart is the love story. It’s sweet and tender, seemingly emo. Plus, Mary Elizabeth Winstead and her big eyes was suitably cast as the girl. Michael Cera wasn’t, IMHO. He’s too whiny for this part. I would’ve loved to have seen someone else play Scott Pilgrim. I keep seeing Futurama’s Phillip J Fry as the guy. Someone who’s slack but burly, a Joseph Gordon-Levitt type. I guess I’m tired of Michael Cera being the go to emo slacker dude.

This movie as I had tweeted will end up being great to watch on DVD just like Speed Racer. Whimsical.

4 of 5 stars.

Inception

I am preternaturally disposed to not liking Christopher Nolan movies. I don’t know why but a lot his work rubs me the wrong way. I feel that he’s too showy: a wink and a nod to how neat all this film working, the writing, the directing, the acting, is great — acknowledge it. So I approached watching his latest “greatness,” Inception, with trepidation.

Right from the start he didn’t disappoint. There were scenes with lots of talking, exposition, saying rather than doing. It was all too verbose for me. I wanted some action. If I don’t get some action, I’m going to get up and go.

Then the heist began, the trippy shit started happening, and Inception became a much better movie. I realized all that early speechifying helped explain how the heist would work, but all that speechifying just made for a boring movie. It’s as if Hitchcock explained his McGuffins.

I really liked the latter half of the movie. As the heist unfolded, I sat right up in my seat and enjoyed the convoluted structure to the action. It was very inventive and a neat fantasy.

I think I could see this again. Something I thought I wouldn’t say for a Christopher Nolan film.

4 of 5 stars

Predators

Predators is the perfect summer movie. Good, but not great. Bad, but not awful. Mediocre.

It dove right into its premise right off the bat like people falling out of planes. It kept moving forward introducing each character/predator victim. They were all archetypes — the sniper, the heavy machine gunner, the shiv wielding con. Every character ripped their roles from a character class in a video game. But the movie kept going forward not stopping for people dying or even plotting. It’s predators hunting human — the dangerous game. That’s the plot in a nutshell and a summary of what to expect from the movie. That’s it, but the job was completed successfully.

3 of 5 stars.

The A-Team

Why do I keep labeling these posts with thoughts on the film I watched as reviews? I don’t think I review them well, but I do do some snarky commentary. On occasion, I do write something resembling a review, but it’s few and far between.

That said, then let’s see what I have to say about The A-Team.

I wasn’t a fan of the original show. Never really watched it religiously because I couldn’t get over the fact that they shot at the bad guys, but never killed anyone. So my expectations are low already. I can’t compare it to some beloved show from my youth, because it isn’t beloved.

It was fun, pure summer movie fun. Lot’s of things blowing up. People dying! People shot. Face macking on some girl. Hannibal scheming. Murdoch crazy, actually lunatic insane crazy. BA being a badass. What more do you need from mindless summer entertainment? Popcorn, too. Then there is the Jessica Biel. Hot. Beautiful legs. Except, she wasn’t needed. A little bit of the love-romantic interest? Not needed. All we need is the plan so that it comes together.

Yup. It does.

3 of 5 stars.

Iron Man 2

I saw Iron Man 2 on opening weekend last week, and it’s taken me this long to write up a review and my thoughts on the film. Actually, I started this review immediately after catching the $5 morning showing at AMC, but never got anywhere with it. The review originally castigated Jon Favreau’s seemingly slow direction, but I deleted that and started over. Here’s what I’ve got so far.

Iron Man 2 starts off with Robert Downey Jr.’s Tony Stark arrogantly displaying his Iron Man suit to the world. He is Iron Man, and no one can take that away from him. It is his not the United States government, nor the intellectual property of Ivan Vanko, nor the ripped off version found in Stark Industries competitor Hammer. It’s his toy.

And it’s Downey’s movie. Iron Man was always Downey’s. He made the original his. He makes this one his as well. Tony Stark is a big jerk arrogant and profane, but a genius. So is Downey.

Avengers was not my comic book to read growing up. Not Captain America. No Wasp. No Ant Man. A little bit of Thor. Some Hulk. Hardly any Iron Man. Watching the movie, reminded me that I really didn’t miss too much. If Tony Stark was as jerky in the comic as he was in the movie, I could leave it. Perhaps, that’s why I can enjoy Iron Man. There is no expectations that I’ve built up. I don’t know his back story, side story or tales. I have no idea who his main enemies were. I have no clue who his friends were. Iron Man’s blank slate as a comic book hero makes it enjoyable to watch. The less baggage the better the movie. I racked myself with frustration over the X-Men movies.

There’s plenty of action in Iron Man 2 although it don’t happen in big set pieces and hardly until the end. It’s good. You’ll see it.

3 of 5 stars.

Adventures From My Netflix Queue: Departures

Departures (Okuribito) was the 2009 Oscar winner for best foreign picture. I was browsing my Netflix recommendations to fill out my queue to the “recommended” six movies when I saw this. I remember wanting to watch it after reading the blurbs for the movie as I prepared the ballots for my Oscar pool, so I added it to my queue. This may have been several weeks ago since it takes me at least three weeks to watch one DVD received from Netflix. Luckily, I had this DVD for a couple of days before watching it. I am glad I did because it was a nice movie. I’m not sure if it was the better of the five nominees, but I was moved by it.

Departures is about a cellist who has to move back home to the country from Tokyo after the orchestra he played in disbanded. He moves into the house his mother left for him when she died. The one which was his father’s coffee house, but turned into a corner bar after his father left his family. He moves back with his wife who dutifully followed him but is inwardly disappointed in this setback.

In his hometown, he searches for a job and the only one he finds is that of a casketeer (?), they prepare the bodies of the recently departed before their funeral. It is not a very respectable career as he finds his friends and his wife embarrassed for him. Yet, as he goes about learning the customs, he finds an inner peace that allows him accept it and an inner strength that to prosper at it. His wife doesn’t and she leaves him only to return if he decides to find a new job. His boss convinces him that he was meant to be a casketeer (?). He finds, through the acceptance of the job, what it means to live.

This movie shows the dignity that is extended to the recently deceased in the meticulous preparation of the body. This is expressed through the casketeer (?) trying to make the body beautiful for their families. The lowly work is elevated once the casketeer (?) goes through the elaborate ritual. The families who enlist their services are grateful to them because it makes their last goodbyes just a bit better. The respect shown to the bodies is reflected back at them for the work that they do.

Reconciliation happens for the couple when she comes back to their house to tell him she’s pregnant. She begins to accept her husbands job as she sees that he is suited for it and that it is a dignified career. She finally accepts his work when he must prepare the body of his estranged father. She grew to love him all over again watching the ceremonial preparations of the body. It makes him human and a man.

The death of his father allows him to put to rest his past. He doesn’t at first want to go, because he doesn’t remember his father, but his wife and his co-workers cajole him to go. There he finds that although they never saw each other for over thirty years, his father still had thoughts of him in his heart. He prepares his body, his wife loves him, and they share this moment for them and for their future.

I’ll admit that I shed a few tears in this movie. Watching it brought back memories of the days leading up to my father’s funeral. Dignity is extended to the dead and it is acceptable to know and celebrate them. When we can accept it, we can accept death as a part of living. It is paying respect to the dead that we can go on living for the future. It is for the past, a way for looking towards the future, and an acceptance of our present.

4 of 5 stars.

Kick Ass

Kick Ass is much better comic movie than I thought it was. I was reading Twitter and reading Roger Eberts tweets defending his trashing of the movie. It was basically the internet telling the old man to STFU because his views were too old. I couldn’t believe it. You can’t tell Ebert that his views are too old. I got to watch this movie.

So I had some expectations. I’ve already thought The Dark Knight was overrated. I was expecting more of the same.

Except it was different. Hard to explain. But I think it was very much steeped in comic books and comic book movies. Didn’t take the medium too seriously. Adam West as Nic Cage made me laugh. There was some music I recognized from some other movies.

I think I want to watch it again.

4 of 5 stars.