I think this is my opinion on it
I thought Joseph Fiennes was Kevin J. O’Connor, the dude who played Benny in The Mummy. Throughout the entire movie, I kept thinking, “Man, Benny sure has some acting chops. Who knew?” Obviously, I didn’t, so imagine my surprise that it wasn’t Benny.
3 of 5 stars.
Why do I watch crap like this? Nuff said.
2 of 5 stars.
The Departed. The US remake of Infernal Affairs. I had recently watched the original because by coincidence it wound up on my Netflix queue at the same time the US remake debuted.
The original was confusing. Now this may sound cliched but I couldn’t tell the bad guys apart. They were all chinese to me, so that when it was time to remember who the mole was in the police department, I couldn’t pick him out of a police line up. I spent the better part of the movie trying to fathom out what was going on. At least the undercover cop was easy to pick out because he’s the infamous Tony Leung. Supposedly, the other guy is somewhat famous, but I don’t really watch much chinese cop dramas because I am limited to the kung fu genre. Anyway, the original besides confusing me ended in a very bitter tone. You had the mole, who always wanted to be a good cop, make it and the undercover cop not. Like the scene in Heat with Al Pacino and Robert Deniro, their tales where intertwined, and you know that someone loses in the end. In this film, it turns out the good guy was the bad guy. For some time after, I was confused by the turn of events to let the mole live. It felt wrong, but I felt conflicted liking the bitter ending, but not liking that crime triumphed. Heh.
The remake adhered to the premise of the original with lots of the same plot rythms. Along with The Aviator, this pic does not include many grand Scorsese stylings. Scorsese sublimates his style to tell the story. Nicholson on the other hand is always Nicholson. The quiet unfolding of the film under Scorsese was punctuated by Nicholson’s brashness and makes the film seem lively, but the length of the movie was very noticeable. I squirmed for the last half hour waiting for the ending. Of course, there was an american twist in the end. You cannot end an american story embracing the dark side. Unlike the original, the mole gets his comeuppance. This was rather phony. For once, an american film should’ve ended (like the original) with the embrace of bad cops rule. I would’ve liked the bitter ending to have remained.
Mark Wahlberg was the best. Followed by Alec Baldwin. DiCaprio and Damon were alright. The boston accent is teh suck.
Original: 2 of 5 stars.
Remake: 2 of 5 stars
Ok, I’m a sucker. Let me admit that I expected to find some kind of mirror image of my life in School for Scoundrels. Yet, if my life was that unfunny, I would want to die.
This movie is a supposed comedy. It clocks in at a bit over the 100 minutes, but it felt like an eternity. When choosing a movie to watch this weekend, I complained that The Guardian had a long running time just about 2.25 hours. Yet, School for Scoundrels felt very long. I was surprised to see that it played short as it felt like I was in the theatre for a while. Time slows down when watching something this unfunny.
Anyway the plot goes like this: loser guy pines for the cute neighbor, tries to woo her using tactic learned from the School for Scoundrels, becomes rivals with his teacher for the neighbor’s affections, and must destroy him before he is destroyed. Apart from going to a school and the rivalry aspect, I am that loser guy. Even more so since I don’t know if I have a cute neighbor to try and woo.
The movie combines some story elements from Fight Club — secret, guy’s only club and Something About Mary — chasing the girl of your dreams against other suitors. It doesn’t do a good job of combining the two. I was disappointed.
The cast was sucky. John Heder should not be the lead. I felt he did this movie soon after hitting it big with his Napoleon Dynamite role, and he decided to play it like that. “Sheesh!” The lion as king of his domain was a significant metaphor, but for that dude he should’ve been a liger! Billy Bob Thorton is the usual grouchy Billy Bob. I don’t know why he bothers. They had another movie he will be in later this yerr in the previews and I felt that that’s all he knows how to play. The cute neighbor (Jacinda Barrett) fell in love with the guy in the end which was so unbelievable that I expected a unicorn to come prancing through the theatre within minutes of the ending. Barrett had a non-descript role, but her character is the type of girl I can dig. Bookish and cute, but her role was insignificant. She played it adequately.
In the end, this movie was not very funny. It was boring at times. I was amazed at how much the supporting cast was wasted. Actors and comedians such as Luiz Guzman, Todd Louiso, Sarah Silverman and David Cross were wasted. They’re all fine comedic talents, but they had nothing here to make us laugh. With a supporting cast like that?! What happened?
I did laugh at some points, but overall this film is dull and not funny.
1 of 5 stars.
The Illusionist. You have seen this before when it was called The Usual Suspects. Don’t let that make you not see it, because it is a fine story. The heart of the matter is that love conquers all. And the only way to win back the lost girl of your past, the love of your life, is through magic! No, just kidding, but that is something funny and hilarious.
This film is better than the rest of the summer movies that came out in August. It’s a real gem, because of the story. Also, Jessica Biel is hot in jodpurs.
3 of 5 stars.
I can’t do better than the seed’s
A few weeks back I caught Beerfest for the fun of it. If you decide to watch it you should do it in jest, as there is no redeeming quality to the movie. It’s just pure funny. I laughed and enjoyed myself immensely at that time. Now, I don’t even remember it like a good night of drinking. Afterwards, I wanted a beer and to get rip-roaring drunk.
3 of 5 stars.
Last night, instead of working out, I caught The Descent with The Seed. It’s supposedly, according to the blurb on the movie poster, a return to horror just like Alien. That’s the first one notice the singular.
Anyway, it wasn’t a return to Alien frights. It had some good scares, but nothing special. I jumped at times. There was a feeling of claustrophobia in being in the cave, but it was soon vanquished once the monsters showed up. I think it would’ve been good for the director to have used the dark better to make the film more scarier.
Unfortunately for this movie, it follows last summer’s The Cave. They have some things in common. I kept waiting for bat creatures, but they
weren’t. Come to think of it, the creatures are descendents of humans similar to the bat creatures in The Cave being mutated humans.
I check the tomato meter at rottentomatoes and it’s doing very well at 83%.
Surprising since most of the review snippets I read there give it a splat. What’s most interesting is that I learned that there was an original ending that differs very much from the one shown in the US. Watch it if you’ve only seen the original. It changes the ending completely. And it makes it more interesting.
BTW, I had trouble sleeping. Waking up around 3 in the AM. Waiting for gollums to crawl around my room. I was in a hazy, twilight state. Awake just enough to know I was, but not conscious to be able to move around. I tried willing my limbs to move, but they reacted in slow motion. I would’ve been cooked, if I believe in monsters of the supernatural kind.
I think I’ll not go spelunking at all.
3 of 5 stars.
Little Miss Sunshine is one of the better movies so far this summer. That’s not saying much. While it was solid storytelling and somewhat challenging, it felt as if I had been there before. The thing brought out the ennui in me. Perhaps I was tired from riding my bike in the morning.
The twist at the end I did not see coming. It was ghastly when it happened.
3 of 5 stars.
Summer movie season is limping to a close. I have seen plenty, yet I haven’t seen enough. The movies have really sucked this year. I didn’t think they were bad last year, but I can feel how lame they are now. Perhaps it’s time to retire?
Anywho, here’s two movie for which I’ll provide my thoughts on film.
Scoop is a Woody Allen affair. Thank god he’s not the romantic lead. Scarlett Johanson and Wolverine (whats-his-name) are. To tell you the truth, I went for Scarlett. The movie is light and breezy like a Woody Allen comedic routine. It’s just that it was one of many of a long string of Allen films that leave you wondering about the writer and the director. Where’s the magic?
3 of 5 stars.
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. I’ll admit that I thought this would suck ass. The writers and director already teamed up on the very lame Anchorman and the producer, Judd Apatow, produced the equally lame 40 Year Old Virgin. I wasn’t thrilled to see it, but I needed some funny. You get it in this film. Nothing like a goat.se reference to make the day go by.
3 of 5 stars.
