“Where were you last night at 3 A.M. when I was watching Steel Magnolias and crying my eyes out? “

broderic on September 30, 2006

Ok, I’m a sucker. Let me admit that I expected to find some kind of mirror image of my life in School for Scoundrels. Yet, if my life was that unfunny, I would want to die.

This movie is a supposed comedy. It clocks in at a bit over the 100 minutes, but it felt like an eternity. When choosing a movie to watch this weekend, I complained that The Guardian had a long running time just about 2.25 hours. Yet, School for Scoundrels felt very long. I was surprised to see that it played short as it felt like I was in the theatre for a while. Time slows down when watching something this unfunny.

Anyway the plot goes like this: loser guy pines for the cute neighbor, tries to woo her using tactic learned from the School for Scoundrels, becomes rivals with his teacher for the neighbor’s affections, and must destroy him before he is destroyed. Apart from going to a school and the rivalry aspect, I am that loser guy. Even more so since I don’t know if I have a cute neighbor to try and woo.

The movie combines some story elements from Fight Club — secret, guy’s only club and Something About Mary — chasing the girl of your dreams against other suitors. It doesn’t do a good job of combining the two. I was disappointed.

The cast was sucky. John Heder should not be the lead. I felt he did this movie soon after hitting it big with his Napoleon Dynamite role, and he decided to play it like that. “Sheesh!” The lion as king of his domain was a significant metaphor, but for that dude he should’ve been a liger! Billy Bob Thorton is the usual grouchy Billy Bob. I don’t know why he bothers. They had another movie he will be in later this yerr in the previews and I felt that that’s all he knows how to play. The cute neighbor (Jacinda Barrett) fell in love with the guy in the end which was so unbelievable that I expected a unicorn to come prancing through the theatre within minutes of the ending. Barrett had a non-descript role, but her character is the type of girl I can dig. Bookish and cute, but her role was insignificant. She played it adequately.

In the end, this movie was not very funny. It was boring at times. I was amazed at how much the supporting cast was wasted. Actors and comedians such as Luiz Guzman, Todd Louiso, Sarah Silverman and David Cross were wasted. They’re all fine comedic talents, but they had nothing here to make us laugh. With a supporting cast like that?! What happened?

I did laugh at some points, but overall this film is dull and not funny.

1 of 5 stars.

“Throwdini!”

broderic on September 21, 2006

The Illusionist. You have seen this before when it was called The Usual Suspects. Don’t let that make you not see it, because it is a fine story. The heart of the matter is that love conquers all. And the only way to win back the lost girl of your past, the love of your life, is through magic! No, just kidding, but that is something funny and hilarious.

This film is better than the rest of the summer movies that came out in August. It’s a real gem, because of the story. Also, Jessica Biel is hot in jodpurs.

3 of 5 stars.

“Cathartic… ooh, that’s big word for a pie-eyed drunk.”

broderic on September 16, 2006

A few weeks back I caught Beerfest for the fun of it. If you decide to watch it you should do it in jest, as there is no redeeming quality to the movie. It’s just pure funny. I laughed and enjoyed myself immensely at that time. Now, I don’t even remember it like a good night of drinking. Afterwards, I wanted a beer and to get rip-roaring drunk.

3 of 5 stars.

Thoughts on Film: The Descent

broderic on August 23, 2006

Last night, instead of working out, I caught The Descent with The Seed. It’s supposedly, according to the blurb on the movie poster, a return to horror just like Alien. That’s the first one notice the singular.

Anyway, it wasn’t a return to Alien frights. It had some good scares, but nothing special. I jumped at times. There was a feeling of claustrophobia in being in the cave, but it was soon vanquished once the monsters showed up. I think it would’ve been good for the director to have used the dark better to make the film more scarier.

Unfortunately for this movie, it follows last summer’s The Cave. They have some things in common. I kept waiting for bat creatures, but they
weren’t. Come to think of it, the creatures are descendents of humans similar to the bat creatures in The Cave being mutated humans.

I check the tomato meter at rottentomatoes and it’s doing very well at 83%.

Surprising since most of the review snippets I read there give it a splat. What’s most interesting is that I learned that there was an original ending that differs very much from the one shown in the US. Watch it if you’ve only seen the original. It changes the ending completely. And it makes it more interesting.

BTW, I had trouble sleeping. Waking up around 3 in the AM. Waiting for gollums to crawl around my room. I was in a hazy, twilight state. Awake just enough to know I was, but not conscious to be able to move around. I tried willing my limbs to move, but they reacted in slow motion. I would’ve been cooked, if I believe in monsters of the supernatural kind.

I think I’ll not go spelunking at all.
3 of 5 stars.

Thoughts on Film: Little Miss Sunshine

broderic on August 22, 2006

Little Miss Sunshine is one of the better movies so far this summer. That’s not saying much. While it was solid storytelling and somewhat challenging, it felt as if I had been there before. The thing brought out the ennui in me. Perhaps I was tired from riding my bike in the morning.

The twist at the end I did not see coming. It was ghastly when it happened.

3 of 5 stars.

Thoughts on Film: 2 for the price of 1

broderic on August 18, 2006

Summer movie season is limping to a close. I have seen plenty, yet I haven’t seen enough. The movies have really sucked this year. I didn’t think they were bad last year, but I can feel how lame they are now. Perhaps it’s time to retire?

Anywho, here’s two movie for which I’ll provide my thoughts on film.

Scoop is a Woody Allen affair. Thank god he’s not the romantic lead. Scarlett Johanson and Wolverine (whats-his-name) are. To tell you the truth, I went for Scarlett. The movie is light and breezy like a Woody Allen comedic routine. It’s just that it was one of many of a long string of Allen films that leave you wondering about the writer and the director. Where’s the magic?

3 of 5 stars.

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. I’ll admit that I thought this would suck ass. The writers and director already teamed up on the very lame Anchorman and the producer, Judd Apatow, produced the equally lame 40 Year Old Virgin. I wasn’t thrilled to see it, but I needed some funny. You get it in this film. Nothing like a goat.se reference to make the day go by.

3 of 5 stars.

Thoughts on Film: Lady in the Water

broderic on August 12, 2006

This is waaay late, but since the seed has stopped blogging, I’m going to have to post my thougts on Lady in the Water.

Better than the reviewers let on, because frankly, it’s one big “fuck you” to any movie critic. Those dudes are stupid, know-nothings.

I enjoyed it. You will too if you just look beyond Shyamalan’s ego.

3 of 5 stars

Adventures from my Netflix queue: The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

broderic on August 9, 2006

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou. Not one of Wes Andersons best. Funny. Especially the filipino pirates.

Here’s a question, “What would their movies be like if Wes Anderson did Coen Brothers scripts and vice versa?” It was all I thought about while watching this flick. Both directors have a manner in their storytelling and in their filming. What would The Big Lebowski have been if Wes Anderson and his cast of regulars did the film? What about this flick done by the Coens? John Goodman in the Klaus role or would it be better filled by John Torturro? And what part would Steve Buscemi play? The intern?

Anyway, it wasn’t as fun as Bottle Rocket or as sweet as Rushmore, but it did have its moments. And it is imaginative.

3 of 5 stars.

My Super Ex-Girlfriend (Whaa?!)

broderic on August 1, 2006

2 of 5 stars.

For the review see below.

Why was this was posted again? Well, blogger fucked up. I sent the review in last Tuesday via email, but look at when it got posted! The review you read is when I just cut and pasted it myself.

Damn blogger.