Tag: review

Summer movie season is limping to a close. I have seen plenty, yet I haven’t seen enough. The movies have really sucked this year. I didn’t think they were bad last year, but I can feel how lame they are now. Perhaps it’s time to retire?

Anywho, here’s two movie for which I’ll provide my thoughts on film.

Scoop is a Woody Allen affair. Thank god he’s not the romantic lead. Scarlett Johanson and Wolverine (whats-his-name) are. To tell you the truth, I went for Scarlett. The movie is light and breezy like a Woody Allen comedic routine. It’s just that it was one of many of a long string of Allen films that leave you wondering about the writer and the director. Where’s the magic?

3 of 5 stars.

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. I’ll admit that I thought this would suck ass. The writers and director already teamed up on the very lame Anchorman and the producer, Judd Apatow, produced the equally lame 40 Year Old Virgin. I wasn’t thrilled to see it, but I needed some funny. You get it in this film. Nothing like a goat.se reference to make the day go by.

3 of 5 stars.

This is waaay late, but since the seed has stopped blogging, I’m going to have to post my thougts on Lady in the Water.

Better than the reviewers let on, because frankly, it’s one big “fuck you” to any movie critic. Those dudes are stupid, know-nothings.

I enjoyed it. You will too if you just look beyond Shyamalan’s ego.

3 of 5 stars

2 of 5 stars.

For the review see below.

Why was this was posted again? Well, blogger fucked up. I sent the review in last Tuesday via email, but look at when it got posted! The review you read is when I just cut and pasted it myself.

Damn blogger.

Somewhere in this movie was a funnier film. It seems as Ivan Reitman has lost his touch. It felt a lot like Evolution. It’s supposed to be funny because of the premise, but the execution of it did not work.

There were a few funny things in the movie. The first “sex scene” had be laughing to tears as well as the rest of the audience, but that doesn’t make up for the rest of the unfunny.

The plot was thin, and the critics are correct in calling this a misogynist movie. Uma Thurman was set up to be a screeching, needy woman. Her power emasculated all males she came into contact with. In fact her origin scene basically stated that upon receiving her powers, the boy in her life was left alone, which caused him to be bitter. What a strange view of the power of woman. It caused me to cringe a few
times. It is strange to have such a bitter outlook on woman.

Luke Wilson needs to be a straight man. He needs others to be around him to be funny. That dude from The Office was supposed to be the funny, second banana, but was not in enough scenes to make Luke Wilson better.

2 of 5 stars.

The only thing saving this movie from being a complete waste of time is the cameo by last year’s Tour de France winner, Lance Armstrong. In fact, Owen Wilson’s character, Dupree finds himself by becoming a better cyclist. That is what I want to do.Other than that, it’s as stupid a film as you would expect. Matt Dillon is still hilarious although he acts as if he’s a more mature person than his Something About Mary character. Kate Hudson is very invisible in this movie. She’s there to show off her booty. And Micheal Douglas? What?!The one thing I commented on during the film is the relationship between Kate Hudson and her dad played by Micheal Douglas. They don’t seem to be father-daughter. Matt Dillon supposedly works for him, yet how did he meet his daughter if the the two don’t even talk. Dillon was getting grief from the dad all movie long, but did Kate step in at all? No. I think the script as originally written didn’t have Micheal Douglas as father of Kate Hudson. They just added it for filler and a secondary subplot. That shows how thin a plot this movie had.Bleh, but serviceable.3 of 5 stars.

Click. I was surprised about this flick. Much funnier than you would think. Not as outright dumb. And halfway through the tone changed from funny to bittersweet, which is a tone I like. I laughed out loud plenty, and it seemed as if I was the only one in the theatre to do so.

This movie ripped off It’s a Wonderful Life. It made little use of Kate Beckinsale. She was hot as a young lady, as her at present day, and as an older lady. She’s very hot, a numero uno hottie.

Buying the tickets, the pimply-faces ticket seller tells me that it was “Adam Sandlers best movie.” Great. If you like his flicks. I should’ve said, “Better than Punch Drunk Love?” But I didn’t want to explain to him that movie, and I didn’t want to see a blank face staring back at me.

Better than expected.
3 of 5 stars.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest. It was an uninspiring sequal. Very long and drawn out. It matches the Matrix middle movie in terms of boringness when it should’ve been like Spiderman 2.

It is the anti-“Superman Returns.” Nothing in the first 2 hours, then bang, an awesome sword fight for 20 minutes. Slow then fast, but it ultimately slows down again.

I don’t understand why people are pissed that this was a cliffhanger of a film. You should already know that once a sequel is being made that there will be a trilogy. This film felt like a bridge, and ended with a pitch for you to see the next film. They should’ve of freeze framed the last shot and flashed onscreen, “See you next July, suckas!”

Blah.

2 of 5 stars.

Superman Returns. I do not trust Bryan Singer. No longer will I watch any movie of his. Superman returns suffers from the same things as X-men 1: a slow boil with no bang in the end. Bryan Singer sucks.

Plus, the super secret spoiler of the super dude’s kid just did not resonate with me. I don’t even think that Lois can bear the child of superman. Wouldn’t the super sperm have destroyed her body? I think more than 1 of them would’ve survived the insemination process. I just didn’t buy it. Corny and not at all part of the comic continuity.

2 of 5 stars.