Dreams. Man, I wish they could be real. But I guess that’s why they’re dreams.
Tossing and turning this morning. I had one that was so life-like it was not even funny, and like the majority of them I wish it were real.
It starts in a physics class in the University of Miami. I am taking it with the girl who’s become an icon to me, I. She is the first girl I have had a crush on, and probably the first girl who retruned the feelings back. She drives plenty of my feelings on what a girl should be like. She was smart, the smartest in grade school. She wore glasses. She was blonde, blue eyed. I was able to talk to her. We were friends throughout grade school. I often wonder where she is now. I think this dream comes from the depths of my psyche looking for her…
First day of class, I am amazed that after 20 years we end up in the same class. She does as well. I try to act cool and not think about the implications. Class is taught. I get the first homework assignment. I finish it up.
Next class is a movie presentation or at least looks like it will be one because the seats are like a movie theatre. She sits in front. I sit down next to her perusing my homework smiling at her. The professor comes in and gets ready to lecture. I., she turns my way and we converse. Small talk. Inane banter. Yet, out of the blue she says, “What happened between us?” She was referring to a point in grade school where I liked her, she knew I liked her, but I never had the balls to express that to her. Plus, she also had a feeling there, too. Like a moment, which passed, and we both never made the connection. Perhaps, I was in the friend zone…
“What happened between us?” I go cold at those words. They were why I sat next to her. I wanted to make the move, and yet, she says them. I don’t remember what I said but they were to the effect that I don’t know. She goes onto say that we had something. That there could’ve been a there there. Then she explains her end, “Kimmie, (one of her grade school girlfriends) said you weren’t interested in me. She said to move on.”
My heart breaks upon hearing this. The feelings I had for her come swelling to the surface. I am speechless. She did like me! At the time, I should’ve said something! It could’ve been…
The professor begins his lecture.
I say with anticipation, “Can we talk about this after class?” She nods. We listen to the lecture. The class poses and answers some questions. I look at her and she at me. I think of everything I want to say. I can’t wait for the class to end to find out the big reason why we never were.
I wake up wishing for the answer. It has been 20 years since I have seen I. I occasionalyl have dreams of her. I would like to know how she is doing. I wish that we would meet cute. I think that that too is a dream.
