As a fan of fake holidays, it is my job to remind you that today is Festivus. How could I forget?
Anyway, since I didn’t get the pole up (or my Christmas lights), we shall now commence with the airing of grievances. “You suck. And your dog, too.” Let’s see them in the comments.
I’ll save the feats of strength for later.
Project Gutenberg provides a convenient place to get all the free Christmas stories you can handle. So click on over and get some.
If you’ve never visited Project Gutenberg, where have you been. It’s the internet’s repository of public domain works of art. You’ll find a lot of cool things, especially books. Here’s a sample from Charles Dicken’s “A Christmas Carol” to warm the cockles of your heart.
This lunatic, in letting Scrooge’s nephew out, had
let two other people in. They were portly gentlemen,
pleasant to behold, and now stood, with their hats off,
in Scrooge’s office. They had books and papers in
their hands, and bowed to him.“Scrooge and Marley’s, I believe,” said one of the
gentlemen, referring to his list. “Have I the pleasure
of addressing Mr. Scrooge, or Mr. Marley?”“Mr. Marley has been dead these seven years,”
Scrooge replied. “He died seven years ago, this very
night.”“We have no doubt his liberality is well represented
by his surviving partner,” said the gentleman, presenting
his credentials.It certainly was; for they had been two kindred
spirits. At the ominous word “liberality,” Scrooge
frowned, and shook his head, and handed the credentials
back.“At this festive season of the year, Mr. Scrooge,”
said the gentleman, taking up a pen, “it is more than
usually desirable that we should make some slight
provision for the Poor and destitute, who suffer
greatly at the present time. Many thousands are in
want of common necessaries; hundreds of thousands
are in want of common comforts, sir.”“Are there no prisons?” asked Scrooge.
“Plenty of prisons,” said the gentleman, laying down
the pen again.“And the Union workhouses?” demanded Scrooge.
“Are they still in operation?”“They are. Still,” returned the gentleman, “I wish
I could say they were not.”“The Treadmill and the Poor Law are in full vigour,
then?” said Scrooge.“Both very busy, sir.”
“Oh! I was afraid, from what you said at first,
that something had occurred to stop them in their
useful course,” said Scrooge. “I’m very glad to
hear it.”“Under the impression that they scarcely furnish
Christian cheer of mind or body to the multitude,”
returned the gentleman, “a few of us are endeavouring
to raise a fund to buy the Poor some meat and drink,
and means of warmth. We choose this time, because
it is a time, of all others, when Want is keenly felt,
and Abundance rejoices. What shall I put you down
for?”“Nothing!” Scrooge replied.
“You wish to be anonymous?”
“I wish to be left alone,” said Scrooge. “Since you
ask me what I wish, gentlemen, that is my answer.
I don’t make merry myself at Christmas and I can’t
afford to make idle people merry. I help to support
the establishments I have mentioned–they cost
enough; and those who are badly off must go there.”“Many can’t go there; and many would rather die.”
“If they would rather die,” said Scrooge, “they had
better do it, and decrease the surplus population.
Besides–excuse me–I don’t know that.”“But you might know it,” observed the gentleman.
“It’s not my business,” Scrooge returned. “It’s
enough for a man to understand his own business, and
not to interfere with other people’s. Mine occupies
me constantly. Good afternoon, gentlemen!”Seeing clearly that it would be useless to pursue
their point, the gentlemen withdrew. Scrooge resumed
his labours with an improved opinion of himself,
and in a more facetious temper than was usual
with him.
Now doesn’t that put you in the Christmas spirit. Don’t be like Scrooge. Be happy and giving. Stop by Project Gutenberg for more free stuff.
Since it is the Holiday Season, and friends and relatives don’t know how to shop for me, here’s my wish list. These items would be nice to have. If you did take my advice for shopping, you’ll notice that these things are related to activities like doing.
Oakley Half Jacket Lenses. For riding, I’ve been looking to get a pair of the yellow or persimmon for the low light levels of the winter.
Carbon Water Bottle Cages. I’m bulking out this winter so my bike needs to be lighter.
TV on DVD. I’m currently have almost the full collection of these television series. I’m short by a few seasons as listed. Futurama (3,4,5). The X-Files (7,8,9). Northern Exposure (4,5), The Simpsons (7,8,9).
I don’t like to play video games anymore, but I do like Chess Master 10000 or whatever it’s called nowadays.
Books. I’m collecting the Peanuts which I’ve gotten the first two books.
Peace On Earth. Goodwill to men. Amazon probably doesn’t have this.
Clothes for cycling? I’m a 42 regular which is large for US, but may not be for other countries. A new team jersey would be cool.
Happy Holidays! Merry Christmas! Here we are on the day after Christmas. The Canadians call it Boxing Day. Whetever?!
Anyway, I hope that you’re Christmas went well and you got everything you need and some things you wanted.
My haul this year was great. I am typing on a Mac centric keyboard! I got some music I wanted, and a few books that were great. Overall, it was enjoyable. Hopefully, all the people that I had gotten stuff for are enjoying their presents. It was great to hang with the family. I must be another 5 lbs heavier. 200 here I come.
Here’s a link to Project Gutenberg’s entry for the classic tale of Christmas ghosts, bah-humbugs, crippled children and the fat goose in the butcher’s window. Of course, it’s Dicken’s “A Christmas Carol.” What would Christmas be without it?
The NY Times writes a story on Festivus, that make believe holiday from the classic Seinfeld episode. December 23 is the actual date. Circle the date on your calendar. Add a reminder in your iCal. It shall go down, along with Talk Like A Pirate Day, September 19, as one of the greatest of fake holidays. Celebrate the day.
It is December and Christmas. One of my favorite times of the year. When it gets cold, which it hasn’t been until the past week, and when it gets dark at 4:30, then it is time for some fun. Christmas! I haven’t appreciated it, but it is good, the shopping not withstanding. So for everyone, enjoy and Season’s Greetings!
Happy Holloween. Here’s a list of scary things to do tonight.
What will you be doing tonight?
