Xkcd hits one out of the park. I was thinking about learning to cook again. Made a big go of it when I first moved out of my mom’s, but today, I don’t cook at all. I still have ingredients, spices and such, from several years back. They take up a few inches of my cupboards, and they are going old gracefully. I wonder…
Best story from the vacation…
Wednesday night before Thanksgiving we make it into Town, Waikiki, to see the Bob. We’re also hungry, so after he closes up shop at the Mall, we go out in search of food.
“We’re gonna go to that Korean barbeque joint next to the strip club.”
And we’re off. Two cars looking for that Korean joint by the nudie bar. The car I’m in stops at the first Korean joint, nudie bar combo we pass. There’s Yakuza hanging out front. This must be the place! In we go.
“Table for 15.” “Right, away!”
“Water.” “Here you go!”
“What’s this button?” “Summon you waiter!”
Five minutes pass.
“Should we order or should we wait some more.”
“How many Korean joints next to nudie bars are there in Honolulu?” “This HAS GOT to be the place, right?”
*BRRRRIINNNGG*
“Where you guys?” “We’re at the Korean joint next to the nudie bar.”
“No you’re not. We are.” “No. We are.”
Sorry, Yakuza Korean grille, we’re at the wrong place.
We’re in the car and drive one more block over. Here’s the Korean joint next to the strip club. Who knew?
But look at this picture. It says volumes about how happy we were to eat yakinuku.
"Hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here!"The Dude (Jeff Bridges), "The Big Lebowski"
“So I was sitting in my cubicle today and I realized that ever since I started working, every day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that’s on the worst day of my life.”
Peter Gibbons (Ron Livingston) Office Space
(I may have posted this once before)
Someone cool please write the Harry Potter wherein Hermione is in a shojo manga.
A muggle born girl finds out that she has been accepted into the prestigious Hogwarts Academy. When she arrives she has to negotiate through a new, magical setting and new, magical friends and/or rivals. She studies real hard to become one of the best students in her class and in all of Hogwarts, but finds that that is not enough to win the admiration of the school. She is overshadowed by Harry Potter. Harry Potter who seems to not do anything to achieve his standings. Harry Potter, mediocre in his studies. Harry Potter, mediocre in his magic. Harry Potter beloved by the school. Will this rivalry last throughout school and will it turn out to be something more? And what about Harry’s saucy sidekick, Ron Weasley. Quiet but friendly, Ron Weasley. Can he be the one?
Well, someone. Get started!
(I guess you really have to be into manga to understand how funny this would be. See Ouran High School Host Club, Kitchen Princess, etc.)
"Gotta nuke something."Nelson Muntz, "The Simpsons" ep 4F01 "Lisa's Date with Density"
From Preston Sturges’ great political satire, The Great McGinty.
Let’s keep it light hearted for a little bit.
Fashklork! Foomp! Glank! Kapooshishish!
These are all sound effects by the hilarious Don Martin of Mad Magazine fame.
I just think they’re some great words, and they sound completely awesome as non-sequiturs in your twitter timeline or facebook page. Throw some on their and watch people stare quizzically at their screen until their inner geek kicks in and recognizes Don Martin. Have fun and stay safe with these.
Now, where did I put my Sergio Aragones mini sketches?
A reminder of how humorless our national discourse has been. Stephen Colbert just skewers things and causes all sorts of funny reactions. I’m posting the White House Press Corps dinner because I remember how funny it was and true. Damn, that guy really makes the Republicans squirm.
