Tag: movies

Click. I was surprised about this flick. Much funnier than you would think. Not as outright dumb. And halfway through the tone changed from funny to bittersweet, which is a tone I like. I laughed out loud plenty, and it seemed as if I was the only one in the theatre to do so.

This movie ripped off It’s a Wonderful Life. It made little use of Kate Beckinsale. She was hot as a young lady, as her at present day, and as an older lady. She’s very hot, a numero uno hottie.

Buying the tickets, the pimply-faces ticket seller tells me that it was “Adam Sandlers best movie.” Great. If you like his flicks. I should’ve said, “Better than Punch Drunk Love?” But I didn’t want to explain to him that movie, and I didn’t want to see a blank face staring back at me.

Better than expected.
3 of 5 stars.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest. It was an uninspiring sequal. Very long and drawn out. It matches the Matrix middle movie in terms of boringness when it should’ve been like Spiderman 2.

It is the anti-“Superman Returns.” Nothing in the first 2 hours, then bang, an awesome sword fight for 20 minutes. Slow then fast, but it ultimately slows down again.

I don’t understand why people are pissed that this was a cliffhanger of a film. You should already know that once a sequel is being made that there will be a trilogy. This film felt like a bridge, and ended with a pitch for you to see the next film. They should’ve of freeze framed the last shot and flashed onscreen, “See you next July, suckas!”

Blah.

2 of 5 stars.

Superman Returns. I do not trust Bryan Singer. No longer will I watch any movie of his. Superman returns suffers from the same things as X-men 1: a slow boil with no bang in the end. Bryan Singer sucks.

Plus, the super secret spoiler of the super dude’s kid just did not resonate with me. I don’t even think that Lois can bear the child of superman. Wouldn’t the super sperm have destroyed her body? I think more than 1 of them would’ve survived the insemination process. I just didn’t buy it. Corny and not at all part of the comic continuity.

2 of 5 stars.

The Devil Wears Prada. Everyone’s boss is an asshole. Not just the girl’s in this one. Although, Meryl Streep’s Miranda can scare you, she’s no different than any other boss you might have. Work sucks, I know.

This was billed as a comedy, but there were hardly any laughs. I laughed a few times, but this was more like a regular movie. In fact, I didn’t think the movie moved me enough to care about the characters. I could’ve cared less about them, yet by the end it was over.

3 of 5 stars.

Nacho Libre

Funny. Mexican wrestling is supposed to be. Men in masks and tights. Jack Black with a silly accent. Yet, it was missing somethings. It wasn’t too funny as the trailer led you to believe.

I am gonna give it a mediocre rating because I think men in tights is funny.

3 of 5 stars

I hope these two help in you choosing what to see this weekend.

Cars. I saw it with my two nephews. They enjoyed it, but it didn’t thrill them as much. I felt this was a weaker effort by the Pixar crew. It ranks below Finding Nemo and that was my least favorite of the bunch.

3 of 5 stars

An Inconvenient Truth. It really should’ve been title, “We Are Fucked.” Global warming is here. If we don’t do anything about it, we will be swimming in Manhattan. We need to change our ways. Let’s all ride a bike to work. Perhaps cut down on working. Where do I get these fluorescent lightbulbs? Now. I liked the movie. The message was important. We need to start working to change our ways.

The only problem I had was that it made me sad to see Al Gore. It was the lost presidency. I’ve always believed that our president should be smarter than us. This guys a wonk’s wonk and a nerd’s nerd. He was passionate about changing our ways for the good. And instead of this thinking person, we get the brain dead, fucktard George W. Bush. Gore was thinking of the future. Bush and his Republican cronies look to the past. No vision. No brains. Fuck George Bush in the ass.

That’s why I had to give this movie one less star than it deserves. I get pissed thinking of what could’ve been, should’ve been. And I watch Al Gore do a slide show presentation.

3 of 5 stars.

With Memorial Day coming and going last week, we have entered the prime summer movie season. This is what I’ve been training for. And it doesn’t seem to be a very good one.

My ratings so far, if you’re keeping score go like:

Mission Impossible 3: 2 stars
An American Haunting: 1 star
Brick: 3 stars
Poseidon: 2 stars
The Da Vinci Code: 2 stars

As you can see, my impression of this season is rather low. The highest rated was Brick and even then, I gave it a favorable rating because of its indie status. So let’s see what else I have to review.

On Memorial Day, I ponied up the cash to help X-Men III: The Last Stand make incredible box office numbers. That’s the best I can say about it. They cameoed many characters from the X-Men comics: Psylock?!, Jubilee?!, Omega Red. They were listed in the credits, but I didn’t catch them on screen. Too many mutants shown in too short a time.

That wouldn’t have been the only problem, if not for the lame story. Why did they have the Phoenix saga plotline when it was nothing like the Phoenix saga? She comes back, but is not a priordial force, just some scizophrenic part of Jean Grey. Trapped in a psychic cocoon. Please.

Sir Ian McKellan again breathes life to another limp movie as Magneto. Except the lameness of this story crushed his energy and we were left with a demagnetized Magneto.

This one stinks.

2 of 5 stars.

Tonight, I caught The Breakup. Do not read any farther if you don’t want the movie SPOILED.

It was supposedly a romantic comedy, or at least that was the impression the commercials gave off. “Come see Jennifer Anniston and Vince Vaughn fall in love. On screen. (and off)” Yet, I did not laugh in the first 25 minutes. And romance is the last thing you think of after leaving the theatre. I was prepared to give it another 2 star rating, except the ending made me bump it up. You know I am a sucker for the boy not getting the girl endings. Bittersweet. I love it. They didn’t get back together. They meet cute on the street a few months down the road and we are left with filling in the blanks of the future. I vote for not getting back together. I like it like that. So the ending surprised me and had me feeling better about the movie. It saved the day. Of course, I should’ve seen it coming.

Anyway, I didn’t laugh. I didn’t feel mushy. Yet, I liked the movie.

3 of 5 stars.

The Breakup was another movie (The Family Stone, Failure to Launch) that sounded weird. I think they hardly added any ambient noise to the soundtrack.