Things we watch in the cinema or on tape, DVD, and streaming
2 of 5 stars.
For the review see below.
Why was this was posted again? Well, blogger fucked up. I sent the review in last Tuesday via email, but look at when it got posted! The review you read is when I just cut and pasted it myself.
Damn blogger.
Somewhere in this movie was a funnier film. It seems as Ivan Reitman has lost his touch. It felt a lot like Evolution. It’s supposed to be funny because of the premise, but the execution of it did not work.
There were a few funny things in the movie. The first “sex scene” had be laughing to tears as well as the rest of the audience, but that doesn’t make up for the rest of the unfunny.
The plot was thin, and the critics are correct in calling this a misogynist movie. Uma Thurman was set up to be a screeching, needy woman. Her power emasculated all males she came into contact with. In fact her origin scene basically stated that upon receiving her powers, the boy in her life was left alone, which caused him to be bitter. What a strange view of the power of woman. It caused me to cringe a few
times. It is strange to have such a bitter outlook on woman.
Luke Wilson needs to be a straight man. He needs others to be around him to be funny. That dude from The Office was supposed to be the funny, second banana, but was not in enough scenes to make Luke Wilson better.
2 of 5 stars.
The only thing saving this movie from being a complete waste of time is the cameo by last year’s Tour de France winner, Lance Armstrong. In fact, Owen Wilson’s character, Dupree finds himself by becoming a better cyclist. That is what I want to do.Other than that, it’s as stupid a film as you would expect. Matt Dillon is still hilarious although he acts as if he’s a more mature person than his Something About Mary character. Kate Hudson is very invisible in this movie. She’s there to show off her booty. And Micheal Douglas? What?!The one thing I commented on during the film is the relationship between Kate Hudson and her dad played by Micheal Douglas. They don’t seem to be father-daughter. Matt Dillon supposedly works for him, yet how did he meet his daughter if the the two don’t even talk. Dillon was getting grief from the dad all movie long, but did Kate step in at all? No. I think the script as originally written didn’t have Micheal Douglas as father of Kate Hudson. They just added it for filler and a secondary subplot. That shows how thin a plot this movie had.Bleh, but serviceable.3 of 5 stars.
I’ve already written praises for Lukas Moodysson’s Fucking Amal, and I’ve already said some things about Lilya 4-Ever.
So I place it in my Netflix queue once more.
It’s even sadder upon second viewing. The scenes between Volodya and Lilya are more poignant. The subject matter more brutal. The dreams more surreal and touching. I don’t know, but there’s something about this flick. Heart-wrenching. Grotesque. Men are stupid and gross.
It’ll keep you off internet porn for a while.
4 of 5 stars.
Click. I was surprised about this flick. Much funnier than you would think. Not as outright dumb. And halfway through the tone changed from funny to bittersweet, which is a tone I like. I laughed out loud plenty, and it seemed as if I was the only one in the theatre to do so.
This movie ripped off It’s a Wonderful Life. It made little use of Kate Beckinsale. She was hot as a young lady, as her at present day, and as an older lady. She’s very hot, a numero uno hottie.
Buying the tickets, the pimply-faces ticket seller tells me that it was “Adam Sandlers best movie.” Great. If you like his flicks. I should’ve said, “Better than Punch Drunk Love?” But I didn’t want to explain to him that movie, and I didn’t want to see a blank face staring back at me.
Better than expected.
3 of 5 stars.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest. It was an uninspiring sequal. Very long and drawn out. It matches the Matrix middle movie in terms of boringness when it should’ve been like Spiderman 2.
It is the anti-“Superman Returns.” Nothing in the first 2 hours, then bang, an awesome sword fight for 20 minutes. Slow then fast, but it ultimately slows down again.
I don’t understand why people are pissed that this was a cliffhanger of a film. You should already know that once a sequel is being made that there will be a trilogy. This film felt like a bridge, and ended with a pitch for you to see the next film. They should’ve of freeze framed the last shot and flashed onscreen, “See you next July, suckas!”
Blah.
2 of 5 stars.
Superman Returns. I do not trust Bryan Singer. No longer will I watch any movie of his. Superman returns suffers from the same things as X-men 1: a slow boil with no bang in the end. Bryan Singer sucks.
Plus, the super secret spoiler of the super dude’s kid just did not resonate with me. I don’t even think that Lois can bear the child of superman. Wouldn’t the super sperm have destroyed her body? I think more than 1 of them would’ve survived the insemination process. I just didn’t buy it. Corny and not at all part of the comic continuity.
2 of 5 stars.
The Devil Wears Prada. Everyone’s boss is an asshole. Not just the girl’s in this one. Although, Meryl Streep’s Miranda can scare you, she’s no different than any other boss you might have. Work sucks, I know.
This was billed as a comedy, but there were hardly any laughs. I laughed a few times, but this was more like a regular movie. In fact, I didn’t think the movie moved me enough to care about the characters. I could’ve cared less about them, yet by the end it was over.
3 of 5 stars.
Funny. Mexican wrestling is supposed to be. Men in masks and tights. Jack Black with a silly accent. Yet, it was missing somethings. It wasn’t too funny as the trailer led you to believe.
I am gonna give it a mediocre rating because I think men in tights is funny.
3 of 5 stars
I hope these two help in you choosing what to see this weekend.
Cars. I saw it with my two nephews. They enjoyed it, but it didn’t thrill them as much. I felt this was a weaker effort by the Pixar crew. It ranks below Finding Nemo and that was my least favorite of the bunch.
3 of 5 stars
An Inconvenient Truth. It really should’ve been title, “We Are Fucked.” Global warming is here. If we don’t do anything about it, we will be swimming in Manhattan. We need to change our ways. Let’s all ride a bike to work. Perhaps cut down on working. Where do I get these fluorescent lightbulbs? Now. I liked the movie. The message was important. We need to start working to change our ways.
The only problem I had was that it made me sad to see Al Gore. It was the lost presidency. I’ve always believed that our president should be smarter than us. This guys a wonk’s wonk and a nerd’s nerd. He was passionate about changing our ways for the good. And instead of this thinking person, we get the brain dead, fucktard George W. Bush. Gore was thinking of the future. Bush and his Republican cronies look to the past. No vision. No brains. Fuck George Bush in the ass.
That’s why I had to give this movie one less star than it deserves. I get pissed thinking of what could’ve been, should’ve been. And I watch Al Gore do a slide show presentation.
3 of 5 stars.
