Things we watch in the cinema or on tape, DVD, and streaming
A few weeks back I caught Beerfest for the fun of it. If you decide to watch it you should do it in jest, as there is no redeeming quality to the movie. It’s just pure funny. I laughed and enjoyed myself immensely at that time. Now, I don’t even remember it like a good night of drinking. Afterwards, I wanted a beer and to get rip-roaring drunk.
3 of 5 stars.
Last night, instead of working out, I caught The Descent with The Seed. It’s supposedly, according to the blurb on the movie poster, a return to horror just like Alien. That’s the first one notice the singular.
Anyway, it wasn’t a return to Alien frights. It had some good scares, but nothing special. I jumped at times. There was a feeling of claustrophobia in being in the cave, but it was soon vanquished once the monsters showed up. I think it would’ve been good for the director to have used the dark better to make the film more scarier.
Unfortunately for this movie, it follows last summer’s The Cave. They have some things in common. I kept waiting for bat creatures, but they
weren’t. Come to think of it, the creatures are descendents of humans similar to the bat creatures in The Cave being mutated humans.
I check the tomato meter at rottentomatoes and it’s doing very well at 83%.
Surprising since most of the review snippets I read there give it a splat. What’s most interesting is that I learned that there was an original ending that differs very much from the one shown in the US. Watch it if you’ve only seen the original. It changes the ending completely. And it makes it more interesting.
BTW, I had trouble sleeping. Waking up around 3 in the AM. Waiting for gollums to crawl around my room. I was in a hazy, twilight state. Awake just enough to know I was, but not conscious to be able to move around. I tried willing my limbs to move, but they reacted in slow motion. I would’ve been cooked, if I believe in monsters of the supernatural kind.
I think I’ll not go spelunking at all.
3 of 5 stars.
Little Miss Sunshine is one of the better movies so far this summer. That’s not saying much. While it was solid storytelling and somewhat challenging, it felt as if I had been there before. The thing brought out the ennui in me. Perhaps I was tired from riding my bike in the morning.
The twist at the end I did not see coming. It was ghastly when it happened.
3 of 5 stars.
A few months ago there was a meme going through the blogosphere. If you had to explain America to a foreigner or aliens but only through its movies, which ten films would you choose to show them. The list is not to serve as a history lesson, but as an informed commentary on the American milieu.
Here’s mine:
1) The Godfather II. We are a nation of immigrants and this film shows the struggles and choices they made to bring prosperity to their family in their new home. Of course, not all immigrants end up as mafia dons, but at its core the story of the Corleones is one that repeated and repeats itself countless times as this country matures.
2) Office Space. Working sucks. Blue collar, white collar, or no collar. We all hate our jobs and wish for something better.
3) Porky’s. The male American view of sex is sophomoric. We can’t get past the surprising titallation that we had when we were teenagers. We still think its nothing but tits and ass.
4) Full Metal Jacket. The killing machine that we can become is something ugly to behold.
5) Apollo 13. American ingenuity at its finest. This is the best moment of geekdom in American history. We can’t fail, because we think things through. Of course, we don’t do this now because of the fucktard president and his fucktard GOP fucks who believe in nothing less than education is for shmoes. Watch this film and know that sometime in her past America produced great minds.
6) Invasion of the Body Snatchers. The original, 1950s version is an allegory about America’s obsession with commies. We hate the others and must fear it. Nothing like hysteria to signify American ideology in the time of the cold war.
7) Saving Private Ryan. I hate the greatest generation moniker that was assigned to the generation that fought in world war II. Fuck them. Yet, this movie, which I thought was meant to do glorify their struggles, has a place on this list to demonstrate that they did rise to the occasion.
8) Boyz N the Hood. It’s tough to make it in America if the deck is stacked against you.
9) Woodstock and Gimme Shelter double bill. The previous to describe the sixties and the latter to kill it. Kill it with a Hell’s Angel’s shiv to your gut.
10) Raiders of the Lost Ark. American adventure at its greatest.
I’m not satisfied with these films. I probably missed some, but I think these can tell an alien what America is about.
What’s your list look like?
Summer movie season is limping to a close. I have seen plenty, yet I haven’t seen enough. The movies have really sucked this year. I didn’t think they were bad last year, but I can feel how lame they are now. Perhaps it’s time to retire?
Anywho, here’s two movie for which I’ll provide my thoughts on film.
Scoop is a Woody Allen affair. Thank god he’s not the romantic lead. Scarlett Johanson and Wolverine (whats-his-name) are. To tell you the truth, I went for Scarlett. The movie is light and breezy like a Woody Allen comedic routine. It’s just that it was one of many of a long string of Allen films that leave you wondering about the writer and the director. Where’s the magic?
3 of 5 stars.
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. I’ll admit that I thought this would suck ass. The writers and director already teamed up on the very lame Anchorman and the producer, Judd Apatow, produced the equally lame 40 Year Old Virgin. I wasn’t thrilled to see it, but I needed some funny. You get it in this film. Nothing like a goat.se reference to make the day go by.
3 of 5 stars.
This is waaay late, but since the seed has stopped blogging, I’m going to have to post my thougts on Lady in the Water.
Better than the reviewers let on, because frankly, it’s one big “fuck you” to any movie critic. Those dudes are stupid, know-nothings.
I enjoyed it. You will too if you just look beyond Shyamalan’s ego.
3 of 5 stars
The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou. Not one of Wes Andersons best. Funny. Especially the filipino pirates.
Here’s a question, “What would their movies be like if Wes Anderson did Coen Brothers scripts and vice versa?” It was all I thought about while watching this flick. Both directors have a manner in their storytelling and in their filming. What would The Big Lebowski have been if Wes Anderson and his cast of regulars did the film? What about this flick done by the Coens? John Goodman in the Klaus role or would it be better filled by John Torturro? And what part would Steve Buscemi play? The intern?
Anyway, it wasn’t as fun as Bottle Rocket or as sweet as Rushmore, but it did have its moments. And it is imaginative.
3 of 5 stars.
2 of 5 stars.
For the review see below.
Why was this was posted again? Well, blogger fucked up. I sent the review in last Tuesday via email, but look at when it got posted! The review you read is when I just cut and pasted it myself.
Damn blogger.
Somewhere in this movie was a funnier film. It seems as Ivan Reitman has lost his touch. It felt a lot like Evolution. It’s supposed to be funny because of the premise, but the execution of it did not work.
There were a few funny things in the movie. The first “sex scene” had be laughing to tears as well as the rest of the audience, but that doesn’t make up for the rest of the unfunny.
The plot was thin, and the critics are correct in calling this a misogynist movie. Uma Thurman was set up to be a screeching, needy woman. Her power emasculated all males she came into contact with. In fact her origin scene basically stated that upon receiving her powers, the boy in her life was left alone, which caused him to be bitter. What a strange view of the power of woman. It caused me to cringe a few
times. It is strange to have such a bitter outlook on woman.
Luke Wilson needs to be a straight man. He needs others to be around him to be funny. That dude from The Office was supposed to be the funny, second banana, but was not in enough scenes to make Luke Wilson better.
2 of 5 stars.
The only thing saving this movie from being a complete waste of time is the cameo by last year’s Tour de France winner, Lance Armstrong. In fact, Owen Wilson’s character, Dupree finds himself by becoming a better cyclist. That is what I want to do.Other than that, it’s as stupid a film as you would expect. Matt Dillon is still hilarious although he acts as if he’s a more mature person than his Something About Mary character. Kate Hudson is very invisible in this movie. She’s there to show off her booty. And Micheal Douglas? What?!The one thing I commented on during the film is the relationship between Kate Hudson and her dad played by Micheal Douglas. They don’t seem to be father-daughter. Matt Dillon supposedly works for him, yet how did he meet his daughter if the the two don’t even talk. Dillon was getting grief from the dad all movie long, but did Kate step in at all? No. I think the script as originally written didn’t have Micheal Douglas as father of Kate Hudson. They just added it for filler and a secondary subplot. That shows how thin a plot this movie had.Bleh, but serviceable.3 of 5 stars.
