Stars Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

Episode IX was the fitting end to decade when movies became all about the franchise. A once moribund, but beloved film franchise, restarted in the middle of the decade amongst other franchise films, ending in a somewhat leaden finale. It sums up the breakdown of Hollywood as they chase the movie franchise devil. The entirety of movie making is broken. Maybe the salvation for good story telling is really in the streaming realm. Or has that broke, too.

I did not like what they did with the premise of The Last Jedi. I thought the previous film was brilliant and would give us a different type of Star Wars ending. Of course, because of its controversy the studio decided to give us a conventional ending. It was very much a “Return of the Jedi” ending to the trilogy — same thing as the first but bigger, louder, and more of.

Not to say I didn’t enjoy myself, but the themes presented from the previous installment were abandoned (as was Rose Tico). The sense that the Force is not destiny — abandoned. It was missing. To be a Force user then you have to be born with the midiclorians. Sucks. I wish Rey wasn’t from any family, because it was more interesting.

#FreeRoseTico

3 of 5 stars.

Parasite

Oh, wow. What an egregious mistake. I was making my year end list of best films I saw in the theatre this year (wait for it!), and I see that I missed posting a review of Parasite. It’s one of the best films of the year — well reviewed and well deserved. It was a comedy, then it was a thriller, then it was a tragedy, and it wraps up as hope.

Also, the funniest thing ever. I went to the bathroom in the middle of the film. I was trying to find a spot to go. There was the down time as the protagonist family was getting drunk. I did not step out. I went as the scene finished with the previous housekeeper knocking on the door in the rain. Imagine my surprise as to what happened when I got back in. Alls I can say is, “Who’s that guy?”

I don’t remember too much, but I did like it. Actually, I remember a lot, but I think I’m still trying to process it months later.

4 of 5 stars.

The Good Liar

As I watched the movies this past few months, I knew from looking at the trailer that I was going to be seeing The Good Liar. It looked like a film my mother would want to see. Not me. So we went to see it.

It was fine for a Saturday afternoon. This is a film that still need to be made. It allows people to find something in the theatre to watch besides superhero films and scary movies. Hollywood should try to make more of these, but the public doesn’t believe in watching movies in the theatre.

3 of 5 stars.

Last Christmas

There’s a joke for weebs about George Michael’s Last Christmas. It’s the only Christmas song that the Japanese play. It’s terrible, because it’s about breaking hearts. I guess, for the Japanese, Christmas is for heartbreaks considering the country isn’t religious. I think they all go out on dates on Christmas. At least, that’s what anime has taught me.

Anyhow, there’s a twist in the movie, that if you paid attention will be completely obvious.

Overall, not a bad film. It may eventually become a Christmas classic. But that will take the likes of everyone to make it happen. Make it happen, everyone. We need another film to enter the Christmas film cannon.

3 of 5 stars.

The Lighthouse

The Lighthouse is a strange film from the director of The Witch. It’s a black and white film shot in a 4:3 aspect ratio starring Willem Dafoe and Robert Pattinson as the lighthouse keepers. They go mad being cooped up alone in a lighthouse.

Was it all in their minds? Was it really madness? It was like Jack from the Shining going crazy. They were all going crazy from the solitude.

Now the hardest was that both characters were talking like The Sea Captain from the Simpsons. Sometimes it was hard to understand. Yaarrghh.

Was it scary? Yes in a psychological way. Madness is scary. And crazy ass masturbating lighthouse keepers, too.

3 of 5 stars.

Joker

Joker.

Again I find myself baffled at the accolades this one receives. I get it. It’s no MCU fun superhero romp. It’s dark. As dark as other DC movies have been. And yet these dark DC films always seem so ridiculous because of their attempt at the darkness. It’s like some goth girl telling you how dark her outlook on life is. You just got to laugh. Too earnest in darkness is just some funny adolescent shit.

It was fine. But still. The darkness.

3 of 5 stars.

IT Chapter Two

IT Chapter Two is a continuation of IT.

I didn’t know IT was a science fiction story.

IT wasn’t too scary. I did cover my eyes on a few occasions, but at the end I was wide-eyed staring wondering why I was frightened.

I guess clowns are scary.

3 of 5 stars.

Judy

I’m not the main audience for a film like Judy. I don’t think I was a fan of hers at all. And yet I found myself watching this biopic on a lazy Saturday afternoon in the fall. Must’ve been because I was dragged here by my mom. Seems that she’s a fan of Renee Zellwegger, who played Judy Garland, if not a fan of Judy Garland herself.

Judy details the last year of Judy Garland’s life as she had a show in London. It was a tumultuous time for her. Separated from her children. Working and busying herself at the show, but strung out on pills. She was far from being the star of the 40s and 50s. She was almost washed up. But she still had a show in London, and the gays loved her.

I thought Judy Garland died in her 50s. I found out later from the movie she died at the young age of 47. All throughout the film, I thought she was 50 some year old. I was shocked to see she was so young. The years were tough on her.

3 of 5 stars.

“Welcome to the Terrordome! Once again back IS the incredible, rhyme animal – D. Public Enemy Number 1! Kickin’ it live with Biz-nil McNeal!”

Ready Or Not?

Movies in theatres are in decline. It’s missing the mid-level movies. It’s nothing but block busters. There’s really nothing showing. Ready Or Not? was a small summer movie. It would’ve been a mid-level movie, but compared to all the rest released this summer, it would’ve fit that bill years ago.

The craziest part of this movie is that it was a deal with the devil. The actual devil! I wasn’t expecting that.

Any how watch it when it comes on cable.

3 of 5 stars.