Last Christmas

broderic on December 8, 2019

There’s a joke for weebs about George Michael’s Last Christmas. It’s the only Christmas song that the Japanese play. It’s terrible, because it’s about breaking hearts. I guess, for the Japanese, Christmas is for heartbreaks considering the country isn’t religious. I think they all go out on dates on Christmas. At least, that’s what anime has taught me.

Anyhow, there’s a twist in the movie, that if you paid attention will be completely obvious.

Overall, not a bad film. It may eventually become a Christmas classic. But that will take the likes of everyone to make it happen. Make it happen, everyone. We need another film to enter the Christmas film cannon.

3 of 5 stars.

The Lighthouse

broderic on November 24, 2019

The Lighthouse is a strange film from the director of The Witch. It’s a black and white film shot in a 4:3 aspect ratio starring Willem Dafoe and Robert Pattinson as the lighthouse keepers. They go mad being cooped up alone in a lighthouse.

Was it all in their minds? Was it really madness? It was like Jack from the Shining going crazy. They were all going crazy from the solitude.

Now the hardest was that both characters were talking like The Sea Captain from the Simpsons. Sometimes it was hard to understand. Yaarrghh.

Was it scary? Yes in a psychological way. Madness is scary. And crazy ass masturbating lighthouse keepers, too.

3 of 5 stars.

Joker

broderic on November 2, 2019

Joker.

Again I find myself baffled at the accolades this one receives. I get it. It’s no MCU fun superhero romp. It’s dark. As dark as other DC movies have been. And yet these dark DC films always seem so ridiculous because of their attempt at the darkness. It’s like some goth girl telling you how dark her outlook on life is. You just got to laugh. Too earnest in darkness is just some funny adolescent shit.

It was fine. But still. The darkness.

3 of 5 stars.

IT Chapter Two

broderic on October 28, 2019

IT Chapter Two is a continuation of IT.

I didn’t know IT was a science fiction story.

IT wasn’t too scary. I did cover my eyes on a few occasions, but at the end I was wide-eyed staring wondering why I was frightened.

I guess clowns are scary.

3 of 5 stars.

Judy

broderic on October 23, 2019

I’m not the main audience for a film like Judy. I don’t think I was a fan of hers at all. And yet I found myself watching this biopic on a lazy Saturday afternoon in the fall. Must’ve been because I was dragged here by my mom. Seems that she’s a fan of Renee Zellwegger, who played Judy Garland, if not a fan of Judy Garland herself.

Judy details the last year of Judy Garland’s life as she had a show in London. It was a tumultuous time for her. Separated from her children. Working and busying herself at the show, but strung out on pills. She was far from being the star of the 40s and 50s. She was almost washed up. But she still had a show in London, and the gays loved her.

I thought Judy Garland died in her 50s. I found out later from the movie she died at the young age of 47. All throughout the film, I thought she was 50 some year old. I was shocked to see she was so young. The years were tough on her.

3 of 5 stars.

“Welcome to the Terrordome! Once again back IS the incredible, rhyme animal – D. Public Enemy Number 1! Kickin’ it live with Biz-nil McNeal!”

broderic on September 14, 2019

Ready Or Not?

Movies in theatres are in decline. It’s missing the mid-level movies. It’s nothing but block busters. There’s really nothing showing. Ready Or Not? was a small summer movie. It would’ve been a mid-level movie, but compared to all the rest released this summer, it would’ve fit that bill years ago.

The craziest part of this movie is that it was a deal with the devil. The actual devil! I wasn’t expecting that.

Any how watch it when it comes on cable.

3 of 5 stars.

Spider-man: Far From Home

broderic on August 13, 2019

Spider-man: Far From Home is the coda to the first ten years of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It’s just too much of an MCU movie.

Really. I wanted to see something not too much like MCU. Need it to be a little bit like the previous one. Even though it was an MCU movie, it still did not feel like it. Now, since Spidey has been assimilated, it is just like the others. Meh.

I did like the Mysterio twist. We are all in thrall to hero worship.

3 of 5 stars.

Annabelle Comes Home

broderic on July 17, 2019

Annabelle Comes Home rounds out the Annabelle Trilogy from the Conjuring Universe. It’s as dumb as you would think of for the third in a trilogy that seems to not really be needed. It got so dumb that there was even a werewolf in it. Yes, a werewolf. DUMB.

I thought that I would hate the character that unleashed the mayhem, but she was somewhat sympathetic — she was trying to contact her dead dad. Although, I would’ve just asked for some psychic consultation. Plus, why’d she have to touch everything.

The scariest thing about it was after the movie. As I was getting to my car, I did not notice this lady behind me. Like she popped out of thin air. As I hopped into my car, she walked a few spaces past. As I pulled out, I noticed that she was still there staring at me. As I passed by her I didn’t want to look, but needed to confirm that she was still staring at me. Yup. She still was there watching me drive away. It was downright creepy. I thought I was going to see her in my living room when I got home! WTF.

2 of 5 stars.